Jim E
May 13, 2002, 06:08 PM
Can somebody critique my prospecting postcard, printed below?
Its funny. I've got my sample issue of the newsletter all done, and the sales copy to go with it. The big stuff came easy.
But this darn postcard... this simple little postcard...
You know how EASY it is to recognize GOOD COPY from OTHERS -- but how HARD it is to tell if your own words are GEMS or DRIVEL? Well, that's where I am with this thing. Someone tell me what it needs, toss me a boffo line, or whatever... I'd hate to go prospecting with a stinker.
Sure would appreciate any thoughts.
Best Wishes,
Jim Erskine
Homeway Press
POSTCARD TEXT FOLLOWS:
----------------------------------------------
Date: 5/18/02
re: Small Town Tourism Ideas!
_____________________________________________
I’d like to send you a free sample copy of SMALL TOWN TOURISM IDEAS! -- a new newsletter sharing the best tips, strategies & ideas of small town tourism pros from across the country. Our goal: To equip you to bring more tourism dollars into YOUR community.
No obligations, no strings attached. To receive your free issue, simply email your request to: info@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.com
...or Call 1-800-xxx-xxxx & leave your request on my voice mail box.
I'll personally see to it that your free issue is mailed to you the same day I receive your request.
Sincerely,
Jim Erskine, Publisher
SMALL TOWN TOURISM IDEAS!
Local Business Ideas worth a look and a "hmmmmmm......" (http://www.homewaypress.com)
Its funny. I've got my sample issue of the newsletter all done, and the sales copy to go with it. The big stuff came easy.
But this darn postcard... this simple little postcard...
You know how EASY it is to recognize GOOD COPY from OTHERS -- but how HARD it is to tell if your own words are GEMS or DRIVEL? Well, that's where I am with this thing. Someone tell me what it needs, toss me a boffo line, or whatever... I'd hate to go prospecting with a stinker.
Sure would appreciate any thoughts.
Best Wishes,
Jim Erskine
Homeway Press
POSTCARD TEXT FOLLOWS:
----------------------------------------------
Date: 5/18/02
re: Small Town Tourism Ideas!
_____________________________________________
I’d like to send you a free sample copy of SMALL TOWN TOURISM IDEAS! -- a new newsletter sharing the best tips, strategies & ideas of small town tourism pros from across the country. Our goal: To equip you to bring more tourism dollars into YOUR community.
No obligations, no strings attached. To receive your free issue, simply email your request to: info@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.com
...or Call 1-800-xxx-xxxx & leave your request on my voice mail box.
I'll personally see to it that your free issue is mailed to you the same day I receive your request.
Sincerely,
Jim Erskine, Publisher
SMALL TOWN TOURISM IDEAS!
Local Business Ideas worth a look and a "hmmmmmm......" (http://www.homewaypress.com)
