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GordonJ
January 20, 2011, 06:26 PM
Why many New Year's resolutions are now toast.


Sigh. So many resolutions made, so few kept. Why? Well, I don't know for sure, but I'm going to render my opinion on the subject. It has been a discovery of mine over the last year working with people who are trying to set goals and reach them.


I'll start with the reason (my opinion) why so many people don't keep their resolutions, don't reach their goals and spin their wheels, perhaps, year after year.


They have the inability to fight off conflicting ideas, thoughts or habits.


They welcome the new idea with open arms, get excited, set goals, maybe even visualize their results and begin the project with undivided attention and keen enthusiasm.


But it isn't long before their old habits, their “inner child” or a conflicted emotion creeps in and erodes the foundation of their new dream. Alas, they find it is a shifting sand they are building on.


It is easy to say these people aren't FOCUSED. As many do, and even I tout Focus as one of the cornerstones of achievement, along with Foundation and Framework. What is lacking is a discussion on HOW TO focus.


Listen, as someone with diagnosed ADD, I get how hard it is to keep focused and stay on track with projects. What works for me (when I remember to choose to use it) is multi-tasking within a larger framework.


So here is some insight for those of you that might need a little FOCUS and want to get off the treadmill of repetitious activity that leads nowhere.


The secret is twofold. One is responsibilty and two is to have the ability to attend to a difficult task and hold it steadily in the mind when it comes under assault. And it will.


OK, let me share some of the insight I've gained from working with people.


As part of my Coaching/Caddy program I “pulled out” a part of my Square One Workshops (SQ1) to help people with 3 areas of their lives:



To identify and CHOOSE realistic goals
To develop a PLAN OF ACTION which takes them automatically to their goal
To help them with TIME MANAGEMENT so they can FOCUS when they need to


Here is one of the rare things I agree with Tony Robbins on; he says most people overestimate how much they can accomplish in one year. He also says they have NO idea of how much they can do in a decade. I totally agree with Tony on this one.


Almost to a person, the people I've started to coach have a tendency to bite off a much bigger project than they can chew or swallow, they have picked elephants, and no amount of one bite at a time is going to help them finish the thing in one year. This is especially true of family men and younger guys who just can't hold the focus. We've had two here at SowPub in Karol and Erik , but they are rare young men who can stay with a project over longer periods of time, most can't. Anyhow,


So I take everyone through the same process, which I've written about extensively before:



Discuss their background, hobbies, interests...get to know them better and I HAVE to listen to them talk and explain things to me and determine IF I can be of service
Start off with a ONE page HOTSHEET on what they think the project is going to be
Ask questions about the hotsheet, and have them “flesh out” the idea with a four page White Paper
Then, they write a 10 page report, with a fully fleshed out idea, almost akin to mini business proposal or business plan which includes information about HOW the TRANSACTION is going to take place; the Who, What, When, Where and Why


It is during this time of DISCOVERY they get a better glimpse into the TIME and ACTIVITY required to actually complete a one year project. The one thing people see most easily is “I don't have as much time as I thought I did” to work on and complete the project.


Once they have a 10 page report, we, together construct a Pyramid of Accomplishment or a PLAN OF ACTON (POA from SQ1). If you stood on top of a pyramid, you could see an unobstructed view in all directions. This view from the top of the pyramid is your completed goal in one year.


Then we add 52 STEPS up the POA, each step representing ONE week of time. We work our way backwards (called backward chaining by many in social services) until we have clearly identified the steps need to take up to the top.


There are a couple of “secrets” (which I just don't have time to explain) like the 'FootBall Field of Sprints' and the 7 Exits on the POA and how to identify them, but, for the most part...everyone does this exact same thing. It isn't an off the rack solution however, because every POA is totally different from the other guy's.


What I've done is to provide PRACTICAL and useful tools which the people can use and since they create their own way...it helps overcome one of the stumbling blocks.


The SQ1 is a DOABLE and practical way to fend off those “monkey mind” assaults, a monkey mind being the inner conversations we have racing around in our heads, many of which have been with us since childhood. The SQ1 addresses this unseen problem, the witch in the woods, the distractor within by having you look at your childhood and your past as a way to identify and prevent monkey mind from being a destructive force in your life.


BUT, that is only one half. The other problem I've encountered, and this comes out very quickly in my conversation and is the number one reason why I reject about 75% of people seeking coaching is...


Their conversation and past are riddled with 'blame, excuses and “bad luck”' type talk. They haven't yet taken RESPONSIBILITY for their place in life as it is today. Too many people want to be “given a chance” or an opportunity. And while they are waiting to be given one, many great opportunities are passing them by. They need to TAKE the opportunity they have today.


I can't be of any service to these people and I tell them right up front.


LOOK, in all sincere honesty, it is the number one cause of failure or for underachievement in all things... it is just human nature to blame someone else for our not fulfilling our potential and the very best thing you can do for yourself, if you see yourself here...is to begin a program of “small bite” accomplishment based on “being responsible” for every action of the “small bite” project.


In other words, if you haven't been able to eat that elephant yet, why not start with a calf? Or for you animal lovers and vegans out there...instead of trying to eat all of the thousands of apples on the tree, count out 365 and eat one a day, that is doable (and even healthy).


OH, if you are still going strong on your New Year's Resolution, GOOD ON YOU, keep at it and be sure to give yourself pats on the back and little rewards along the way.


As BILLIONAIRE Art Williams wrote; “All you can do is all you can do, but all you can do is enough.”


Are you doing enough?

Gordon Jay Alexander


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