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REAL confidence -- is it a myth? [Archive] - SOWPub Small Business Forums

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-TW
February 3, 2011, 05:06 AM
It's hard to stay rational about this topic, so excuse me if I ramble on a bit...

What I'm wondering is, is there any such thing as REAL confidence? The FEW times I've experienced it, it was short-lived, then everything reverted back to "normal" (aka: desperation).

It has to do with being able to "float upon" some kind of confidence-boosting environment -- and whether that "environment" can be counted upon to exist! That is what gives one real confidence -- or the lack of it. It's a safety net which one presumably cannot fall below. If it doesn't exist, there's no basis upon which to build confidence, which results in constant uneasiness -- insecurity (aka: shattered nerves).

Here are some analogies to clarify what I'm getting at...

Beautiful woman can "float upon" (aka: coast) to a certain extent, based on that beauty. She has confidence knowing that she cannot fall below a certain level, since she'll always have admirers she can "pluck off the shelf" if need be -- not that she WOULD -- but IF she needed to, she COULD.

Here's a better analogy --

When I was in radio, I worked at a VERY small station. A friend of mine worked in a BIG station, across town. He had much more confidence than I did -- and here's one of the reasons... I remember telling him that when we (at my station) ran call-in contests, we always had to take "caller number 3" (or some other very LOW number) -- he asked me why -- I told him we had trouble getting 3 people to call in -- even to WIN A PRIZE!

He seemed AMAZED by that -- because at his station, they could use caller # 99, or even caller #199. In fact, he told me, there were CONSTANTLY people calling in to the station -- even when there was no contest or prize being given away. In fact, at ANY MOMENT he could just reach over to the phone and press any button and get a listener on the line. He could "PLUCK THEM OFF THE SHELF" at any time. No desperation.

Another way of putting it is, THERE WAS "PRESSURE" on the other side of the door, not just coming from HIS side of the "door."

One station had PLENTY to "float upon," and the other station had (basically) NOTHING to float upon.

Don't get me wrong, I kinda get a kick out of finding ways to get blood from a stone. I've been doing it for as long as I can remember. Being kept desperate keeps one creative, that's for sure! I just go through life assuming there's no pressure coming from "the other side of the door," and that there never will be.

Any "demand" is the demand I "create" myself. "Desperation marketing."

It's just that it's not exactly confidence-inducing, either. It's nerve wracking to work without a net. Just ask Willie Lowman.

There's a fine line between selling + begging.

But is it really necessary to live like that? I'm getting better at masking it -- like some con artist who's between cons (ie: broke).

I've asked this before on this forum -- it's a fine line between enthusiasm + desperation. But one is confidence-laden, and the other is confidence-void.

REAL confidence is like that old marketing bit of copy: "I don't care if you buy or not, I'll still eat steak tonight [etc.]." How often is that really true?

Sorry if this is all too deep and/or subjective and/or off topic.

I know many of the readers of this forum are also often on the fine line between enthusiasm + desperation.

After all, if your product/service were REALLY "in demand," sending out 20,000 sales letters (for instance) would not be "necessary." Your product/service would presumably "sell itself." Hiring a copywriter would yield the exact same results as not hiring one.

Just wondering what your thoughts are on this topic of "REAL" confidence.

Can you -- at any moment you choose -- pluck what you want "off the shelf?" If you had to, can you "float upon" (aka: coast) a friendly, beneficial environment that will be there consistently, reliable, predictably?

Do you have REAL confidence about that? If so, how did you acquire that position?

Or are you always in "survival mode" -- always rolling the ball up the hill (again!) Are you always prospecting your head off? On the "bicycle of life," are you using the "PEDAL LIKE HELL, AND KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED" method? Do you feel like if you were to STOP pedaling like hell -- even for a second -- your "bicycle" would fall over?

Or is it a combo of both or a balancing act?

I remember a very well known marketer (initials D.F.) who "made it big" (became a millionaire), yet he was very interested to find out more about how someone was using the "MEET-UP" service to organize meetings of 5-6 people in his local town. Did not strike me as being congruent. Millionaire experiences NO ability to "coast?!?" Still prospecting using what I would consider desperate (low-level, one-off, work-intensive) prospecting methods. If millionaire status does not bring the benefit of RAISING the safety net, or INCREASING the "coast" factor, then WHAT'S THE POINT (of making the million)?

The whole point of desperately prospecting is to work toward a point where you can EASE UP on the desperation -- no?


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