Another spin on why we don't succeed...
 

One of the things I have seen in my life and I'm sure you have too are the people that seem to make the same mistakes over and over again. And 'mistakes' might be to harsh a word. Let's say we see them 'not succeeding' (in whatever they are trying to succeed at be it career, romance or building a business). And this pattern of 'not succeeding' occurs over and over again throughout the person's life. Take for instance the person that is constantly starting new projects but for whatever reason doesn't see them through to the 'payoff' stage. They give up or change direction (usually give up by changing direction). The result is their business or whatever they want to accomplish doesn't happen. And no matter how prepared the person is or how much information they have at their disposal or even if they've had the opportunity to work with some great mentors in the past...they still can not reach the level of success they envision. What do you do? You could say take action, no matter how small, any action is good action. But what about those people that can't even be persuaded to take action even if they know in their hearts that they should? An author by the name of Robert Fritz has been studying this pattern of human behavior for a long time. He has several books on the market and came to look at this problem from an artist's perspective. People quite often believe it is their 'beliefs' that hold them back...that their belief system needs to be changed. They use affirmations or NLP to 'reprogram' their minds to a new belief system that allows them to succeed or as Mr. Fritz believes..."create". He makes the very valid point that artists "create" no matter what their belief system is. No matter what they think about themselves, no matter what they think about others, no matter what they think about the universe--they create. Is this crap? Could be...but I think there are a lot worse opinions out there on why human beings do not reach the level of success they desire than what Mr. Fritz puts forth. If you are interested in reading a chapter of his current book just follow the link below. Some of it is a little dry and you might be wise to bite off only a few pieces at a time...but I think when you're done, if nothing else it will give you a fresh perspective on why people do the things they do and more importantly how they can change their behavior patterns to accomplish what they want to out of life. And isn't that what we are all here for?

Take care,

Mike Winicki


Why affirmations don't work...

Re: Another spin on why we don't succeed...
 

Mike - thanks for the link to Robert Fritz's site. He has some excellent articles there.

In 1987, I took one of his macrostructural courses and worked with both he and his lovely wife Rosalind. Very nice and brilliant people.

I've used his structural tension ideas in various consulting jobs to great advantage.

By reading his most recent articles, I can see he's advanced his methods a lot. I think my course was one of his early "experiments", as we just drew out our patterns without a solution to changing them:-)

Also, Dien's post below about using structural tension to increase his swimming progress is a great example of a success cycle, as opposed to the oscillation cycle (or "do loop") mentioned in the article.

I'm going to root out my old notes and refresh my memory on the stuff he taught. Thanks for jogging the old brain cells.

Bob

Re: Another spin on why we don't succeed...
 

Mike,
Thanks, that was a good excerpt. It really puts into words something that's always just been something I could sense. Time to put my own structure and Macro-structure to paper. Thanks again!
Joe

Fantastic reading!!!!!!!!!
 

Mike,

Thank you for this post. This is on of the most important things I've ever read.

Warm regards,

Tom

> One of the things I have seen in my life and
> I'm sure you have too are the people that
> seem to make the same mistakes over and over
> again. And 'mistakes' might be to harsh a
> word. Let's say we see them 'not succeeding'
> (in whatever they are trying to succeed at
> be it career, romance or building a
> business). And this pattern of 'not
> succeeding' occurs over and over again
> throughout the person's life. Take for
> instance the person that is constantly
> starting new projects but for whatever
> reason doesn't see them through to the
> 'payoff' stage. They give up or change
> direction (usually give up by changing
> direction). The result is their business or
> whatever they want to accomplish doesn't
> happen. And no matter how prepared the
> person is or how much information they have
> at their disposal or even if they've had the
> opportunity to work with some great mentors
> in the past...they still can not reach the
> level of success they envision. What do you
> do? You could say take action, no matter how
> small, any action is good action. But what
> about those people that can't even be
> persuaded to take action even if they know
> in their hearts that they should? An author
> by the name of Robert Fritz has been
> studying this pattern of human behavior for
> a long time. He has several books on the
> market and came to look at this problem from
> an artist's perspective. People quite often
> believe it is their 'beliefs' that hold them
> back...that their belief system needs to be
> changed. They use affirmations or NLP to
> 'reprogram' their minds to a new belief
> system that allows them to succeed or as Mr.
> Fritz believes..."create". He
> makes the very valid point that artists
> "create" no matter what their
> belief system is. No matter what they think
> about themselves, no matter what they think
> about others, no matter what they think
> about the universe--they create. Is this
> crap? Could be...but I think there are a lot
> worse opinions out there on why human beings
> do not reach the level of success they
> desire than what Mr. Fritz puts forth. If
> you are interested in reading a chapter of
> his current book just follow the link below.
> Some of it is a little dry and you might be
> wise to bite off only a few pieces at a
> time...but I think when you're done, if
> nothing else it will give you a fresh
> perspective on why people do the things they
> do and more importantly how they can change
> their behavior patterns to accomplish what
> they want to out of life. And isn't that
> what we are all here for?

> Take care,

> Mike Winicki

Re: Another spin on why we don't succeed...'One solution'
 

I read the excerpt from Robert Fritz's book earlier and it had a somewhat profound effect on my thinking after I got through with it.
I've spent the last few hours driving around in my car thinking about the 2 "elastic bands" for "VISION" and "CONCEPTUAL COMPLEXES". Some heavy stuff and very on the mark.
I wrote down all of my conceptual complexes and visions and have spent a good deal of time this afternoon and this evening thinking about how to eliminate the negative obstacles. I think I've got something, at least for now:
This might sound extreme, but what if, instead of trying to re-program one's thoughts, they simply identified the things that "pull" them from their vision and eliminated these things completely. For example if one of the things that has kept you from reaching new heights in your business is the late-night TV shows, then what if you were to take your TV, box it up and put it up in the farthest, darkest corner of your attic, behind several other large boxes. Then, the following evening, when you feel compelled to watch TV, you wouldn't be able to, and the hassle of climbing into your attic and going into the farthest, darkest corner and moving the other heavy boxes wouldn't be worth the few hours of satisfaction. Of course, this is just one example. It's kind of like a "cold turkey" approach to eliminating one's conceptual complexes.
Now I'm sure I'm not the first person to think of something like this, but I'm curious as to what some of you think of this idea of taking your conceptual complexes and then eliminating them in whatever way they need to be eliminated.
In some cases, this may require making some extreme adjustments, but if that's what it takes, right? wrong? let's talk about it. I'm fascinated by this concept of structural tensions.

Re: 'One solution'.an example of how this worked by accident once
 

Oh yeah, I meant to include an example of how this "cold-turkey" approach worked for me by accident once:
My girlfriend and I live together and we do our food shopping on a weekly basis. We always tell ourselves that we're going to eliminate the junk food, but most times when we go food shopping, it's difficult to not buy at least one box of 'goodies'.
Anyway, a couple of months ago, my girlfriend had to travel out of state for a couple of weeks and the food shopping, along with the other "mutual chores" were completely up to me.
Immediately falling back into "bachelor mode" food shopping fell of my "To-Do list". To be honest, there was no "To-do list" for those 2 weeks. As a result, there were no "goodies" in the house, because putting together a shopping list and strolling the aisles was not something I'd ever done without my girlfriend. For those two weeks, I ate what was in the house and after the goodies we bought from the week before my girlfriend went away ran out, that was it in the junk food department.
To make a long story short, when my girlfriend got back after her two week trip, the first thing she told me was that I'd lost weight. Yes, my sheer laziness to do the food shopping myself was stronger than my desire for the "goodies". Go figure!
This is an example of how I eliminated a conceptual complex without realizing it - until today of course, when I read Robert Frit's excerpt.

More thoughts on this from Mr. Fritz...
 

> I read the excerpt from Robert Fritz's book
> earlier and it had a somewhat profound
> effect on my thinking after I got through
> with it.
> I've spent the last few hours driving around
> in my car thinking about the 2 "elastic
> bands" for "VISION" and
> "CONCEPTUAL COMPLEXES". Some heavy
> stuff and very on the mark.
> I wrote down all of my conceptual complexes
> and visions and have spent a good deal of
> time this afternoon and this evening
> thinking about how to eliminate the negative
> obstacles. I think I've got something, at
> least for now:
> This might sound extreme, but what if,
> instead of trying to re-program one's
> thoughts, they simply identified the things
> that "pull" them from their vision
> and eliminated these things completely. For
> example if one of the things that has kept
> you from reaching new heights in your
> business is the late-night TV shows, then
> what if you were to take your TV, box it up
> and put it up in the farthest, darkest
> corner of your attic, behind several other
> large boxes. Then, the following evening,
> when you feel compelled to watch TV, you
> wouldn't be able to, and the hassle of
> climbing into your attic and going into the
> farthest, darkest corner and moving the
> other heavy boxes wouldn't be worth the few
> hours of satisfaction. Of course, this is
> just one example. It's kind of like a
> "cold turkey" approach to
> eliminating one's conceptual complexes.
> Now I'm sure I'm not the first person to
> think of something like this, but I'm
> curious as to what some of you think of this
> idea of taking your conceptual complexes and
> then eliminating them in whatever way they
> need to be eliminated.
> In some cases, this may require making some
> extreme adjustments, but if that's what it
> takes, right? wrong? let's talk about it.
> I'm fascinated by this concept of structural
> tensions.

Chris,

You've really put some thought into this.

I think the whole concept of structural tensions makes sense because you are not trying to 'B.S.' your brain into thinking something that is not 'real'. As Mr. Fritz calls it...
"The Curse of Sanity". He adds, "We are sane in the sense that we can observe reality. If we see a bird, we can't force ourselves to think that it's a dog or a cat or a CD player or a swimming pool. As human beings we have the bad habit of creating symbols out of things. If we see a bird, we can say it's a sign of good fortune, or a sign of death, or a sign of spring. We often mix our observations together with our speculations, and we get muddled. But something inside of us, if we are sane, will not let us get away with too much of that. There's a point where the mind rejects the hypothesis we are trying to impose on it, and fires back with iconoclastic fury. It's a bird. The Emperor has no clothes. A rose is a rose. Cut the sh*t."

Many of don't accomplish what we want because we've let concepts 'muddle' our reality too much. A case in point is when someone can't get a business started because they have no money or no time or what not...Is this reality or false concepts we hold that keeps us from acting?

But you see, it is not just identifying these concepts that hold you back. You need to have a structure in place that is superior to your old one. If not you fall back into the old routine.

How typical is this pattern?

Become frustrated...Look for new opportunity

Find someone making money doing something other than what you are doing...Get excited

Do research...Get more excited

Uncover "Stumbling Block"--usually a case of realizing this new venture will take time and/or money to get off the ground...look for alternative to supplying time/money

Frustration begins to build in starting new venture...Begin wandering off the path

Wait for the project to "Take Off"...Resist spending any more time/money on the project (even though in actuality the person has for the most part spent damn little time/money to see if the project has any merit at all--quite often due to false reality)

Grow more frustrated...Put the project on the back burner

Become frustrated...Look for new opportunity

Take care,

Mike W.

Re: More thoughts on this from Mr. Fritz...
 

Mike - good point about changing the structure to one superior to the one that's holding you back.

I recently did just that, although didn't realize it until the posts here on Robert Fritz.

I'd been trying to lose weight (beer belly, actually:-)) for a long time, but continually oscillated between eating right, exercising and cutting out alcohol on the one side, and going to happy hour with my friends at an Irish pub and hoisting a few pints of Guinness on the other side. A frustrating structure with false concepts, etc., on both sides of the rubber bands.

Then I found out that I'm allergic to something in beer that makes some nerve damage in my ear worse, and makes me subject to vertigo. Immediately, without a look back, my structure changed to a different level and I've cut out beer entirely without difficulty. And, my waist is receding! Superior structure = superior results.

Robert Fritz's conceptual framework, like Gordon's SQ1, has enabled me to reconstruct what I've accomplished in the above example, and encouraged me to examine other areas for change, like Chris above and Dien in his PhD example below.

Thanks again for the references and starting this thread.

Bob

Re: More thoughts on this from Mr. Fritz...
 

Mike,
I can relate to the pattern you just mentioned. I suppose, in my last post, I'm speaking more of "vices" or "bad habits", which are a little different than the idea of a conceptual complex.
Am I right in assessing that the idea of a conceptual complex is more of an "intangible" idea, whereas a "bad habit" can be more readily connected to a tangible, physical object (eg the boob tube, junk food, etc.)
That being the case it would be more difficult to "eliminate" an intangible thought than eliminating the tangible connected to the bad habit.
With me, for example, my main problem seems to be that I can never take my business to the levels of success I want. I can keep the money coming in and the food on the table with my business, but it's always been a challenge to achieve wealth. For me personally, I'm able to tie this dilemma directly to some bad habits of mine, not conceptual complexes (at least none that I can identify).
For example, I know if I saved more of what I earned, I'd be able to leverage that capital to multiply my marketing efforts via placing more ads, doing more mailings, etc. Regardless, I take the money and spend it the way I always have to remain "comfortable". This, at least in my view, is a bad spending habit. If I were to eliminate my access to the money I earned - other than what was needed to pay my bills - I'd be one step closer to being where I wanted to be. Then, when I was ready to leverage that money for my business I'd give myself access to the money at that point only.
Of course, I can't say how other people's minds work, but it seems to me that just about everything keeping me from being where I want to be in every area of my life can be directly connected to a bad habit.
Maybe I'm not digging deep enough, but I've never had thoughts that I don't deserve success or that I'm incapable of success, or any of the other conceptual complexes that Mr. Fritz speaks about. For me, I'm able to connect everything that's keeping me from where I want to be to a bad habit or self-defeating level of comfort that I'm used to. Thoughts?

Re: Bob's post above
 

Bob,
In your situation with the beer, it seems that you had to go cold turkey with it when you realized the health repercussions for you and so this forced you to change that structure.
But what about things that we don't have to change such as settling for mediocrity, being complacent, etc.? This is the struggle I seem to be facing at this point.
Of course, I shouldn't be so quick to say that realizing a health repercussion makes it easy to change your structure just because you have to so that your health isn't compromised. For example, my father had quadruple by-pass surgery a little over a year ago. The doctor was very clear with him that if he kept smoking and eating bad, he'd be right back on the operating table. Regardless, my father has gone right back to eating unhealthy and smoking as he did before. The health repercussions were not enough for him to autmomatically change his structure. Foruntately for you, you place more value on your good health and your desire to NOT have vertigo than having the pints of Guiness with the guys. You realized that you could raise a glass of a non-alcholic beverage just as easy in a toast and you wouldn't be compromising your health. Good job on that structure. Now, how do we change the structures that are keeping us all from becoming billionaires? :O)

Re: Bob's post above
 

Chris -

I can empathize with you regarding your dad's backsliding after open heart surgery. My mom has done the same thing - not with cigarettes, but with sweets and other poor eating habits after a life threatening five way bypass and stroke. But, I figure at age 84 her structure is probably cast in dynamite-proof cement, so I let her do her thing and am supportive.

Re your question about changing other than bad habits, I think here's where Robert Fritz's structural process dovetails with Gordon's SQ1 system (there have been several references to it on SOWPUB below over the past 18 months).

In brief, SQ1 has you determine what you want and where you are by drawing "pictogrigms in several areas of your life (career, financial, health, relationships etc.) and then provides a Pyramid of Achievement and other structural maps and processes to help you achieve what you want within each area as well as in your life as a whole. Very powerful. And it starts with you knowing what you want - the creative goal on which to apply dynamic structural tension.

(Gordon - my apologies for this highly abbreviated synopsis of your process - this is the "elevator speech" description:-))

If we apply Fritz's structural tension process to the PoA, we can improve our processes to create and achieve what we want to achieve our objectives.

Also, the 10 Days to Success program that Gordon and Rick Smith offer also fits in, providing the impetus for organized and focused actions in a manageable period of time.

As a practical application, I'm going to work on small, progressive steps to test and refine the processes for me. I'm going to structure processes for finally decluttering my office, clearing the vines from my side yard, selling surplus stuff on eBay, and planning my next seminar series. And the conceptual obstacles I'll be overcoming include procrastination, dislike of yardwork, and the normal myriad distractions of life in general.

Hopefully, each successful attainment of an objective at the small level will reinforce my resolve to continue to refine and upgrade my processes to achieve greater and greater heights. (I don't know about a billionaire, but a millionaire would be nice:-))

I'll stop here and post more later after I've done more work and achieved something(as you have started as well). With any luck, Gordon's upcoming book will present his SQ1 method in detail so we can all benefit from both systems.

If nothing else, this thread and those below on Fritz and SQ1 have motivated me to apply these methodologies this spring to get off my duff.

Regards,

Bob

Re: More thoughts on this from Mr. Fritz...
 

> Maybe I'm not digging deep enough, but I've
> never had thoughts that I don't deserve
> success or that I'm incapable of success, or
> any of the other conceptual complexes that
> Mr. Fritz speaks about. For me, I'm able to
> connect everything that's keeping me from
> where I want to be to a bad habit or
> self-defeating level of comfort that I'm
> used to. Thoughts?

Chris,

Maybe it's not (like you suggest), the concepts you hold at all but you don't have the right structure to propel you to success? Maybe there just isn't enough tension there? On the other hand (at least superficially) your long-term success structure is much weaker than the structure you have in place that maintains your current (and comfortable) lifestyle? Instead of trying to make your long-term success structure stronger, maybe you should make your 'comfortable, lifestyle structure' weaker?

Take care,

Mike W.