Totally out of context
 

On a well-known real estate discussion board there is a weekly post which contains out of context text snips.

When read within the original message the text makes sense. When read on its own it is either strange or funny.

Here are some text snips from posts at the Seeds of Wisdom board for the last week - Mon 3rd to Sun 10th. Enjoy them...

...he retired to Switzerland to keep an eye...

I'll hitch-hike in from Pahrump.

I was planning on attending but I got a phone call...

...stuff down and then you can work...

I'm going to go in the order...

...I can get a feel...

...squeeze it in.

I never knew it could be so hard...

...I stepped in something...

...your customers, and you are pleasing yourself...

...a thought that struck me,

...if you are not averse to the MLM format and if you do not mind engaging in some heavy sales tactics and if you are not expecting a large income from only a few hours work, then this could be something you might wish...

...it looks like it screwed up...

This is very irritating.

...it's hard NOT to think...

Great to know there is at least one other person in the universe...

...everyone was busy whacking moles...

The programmer should be shot...

I had problems once...

Stupid lawmakers...

...he might be able to get some...

He reluctantly decided to dip...

...did a bit of prodding...

before calling attornies I picked up the phone...

...you are not doing it enough.

...the purple bippy dippy factory is doomed...

Out of context is always a blast!
 

I keep my own "out of context" file/scraps from things I'm reading. They span a wide variety of subjects, but all have the common denominator of making me laugh or at least smile real wide.

Success,

Erik

Google games
 

For those of us who spend too long online, theres a little game you can play on Google. The trick is to find a two word phrase that returns only one result. No exact phrase or other tricks allowed.
My personal favourite was funking spelunking but the game has been spoiled as it now returns 2 results.

This is probably out of context.

Erik: Out of context blast
 

Erik,

Speaking of out of context blasts: How is the memo writing coming along? Seems to always be good for more than a grin. I know where to put my bet, the only question is timing! My 2cents would be to do both and see which pays off best. That is if you have any time to develop an online biz in between all those exciting assignments. Have you read what JohnTReed says about Robert Kiyosaki and education? I mostly agree with Reed, but "RichDad" does give one a good perspective of biz structure for taxes.
"Be Cool, Stay in School" LOL
Hang in there, Dave Horn




Too Good To Be True? or Have We All Hit A Gold Mine?

Hi Dave...here's my attempt at prying a few bucks out of Bill Gates hands... assignment
 

> Speaking of out of context blasts: How is
> the memo writing coming along? Seems to
> always be good for more than a grin.

Well, or, err, so-so. I've moved up in the world. Now I'm writing letters. Attached to the bottom is one to William Gates III.

> I know
> where to put my bet, the only question is
> timing! My 2cents would be to do both and
> see which pays off best. That is if you have
> any time to develop an online biz in between
> all those exciting assignments.

I am constantly working in between. A little less on online projects and a little more offline though.

Thank you for the encouragement, BTW.

Have you
> read what JohnTReed says about Robert
> Kiyosaki and education? I mostly agree with
> Reed, but "RichDad" does give one
> a good perspective of biz structure for
> taxes.

No, what does he say?

Here's my letter:

Dear Bill Gates,

Here is one crisp, new dollar bill.

This one dollar represents approximately .004% of my annual income. I am sending it to you in good faith. I am looking for an equal donation on a percentage basis from your arguably much heavier pocket to help some very good people.

I want you to donate $3,000,000 to our Seattle Branch of Habitat for Humanity this year.

We build simple, affordable housing with the sweat of volunteers and the generous donations of hundreds of small business owners across the country. Habitat has built over 45,000 homes across the United States in the last 23 years.

I am writing to you, Mr. Gates, because no one in our organization has dared to before. I am writing to you because I want to impress upon you the need our organization has for extra resources to build homes.

We need your $3 million dollar donation for the resources to construct 65 new houses for families in the Seattle area.

These families are hard working Americans. They are mothers and fathers who want to give their kids better lives. They are brothers and sisters who simply want the same opportunities as their better off counterparts. They are families that are struggling, but with our help, they will have, for the first time in their lives, their very own homes.

The children can grow up in homes, instead of moving yearly. They can stay at one school for more than a few short years. They can grow up and become even more so the good people they are.

And undoubtedly, lifelong Microsoft customers. Scratch that, raving fans.

Please support us with your donation. Contact me this week and we can set up an appointment to iron out the details. Or just send the check to “Habitat for Humanity” care of our director, Judy Wells (123 Main St. Seattle, WA 55555).

Sincerely,

Erik Lukas
Habitat for Humanity

P.S. I’m sure I don’t have to explain the tax implications of a charitable donation to you, but that’s just one more benefit in addition to helping so many wonderful people.

(Plus I'll be including a hula hoop as an attention grabber)

Re: Google games
 

Found my first!

armwrestle avacados

> For those of us who spend too long online,
> theres a little game you can play on Google.
> The trick is to find a two word phrase that
> returns only one result. No exact phrase or
> other tricks allowed.
> My personal favourite was funking spelunking
> but the game has been spoiled as it now
> returns 2 results.

> This is probably out of context.

Re: Google games
 

awesome bananacake !

Uhh, ok, I better get back to work now. :)

> Found my first!

> armwrestle avacados

Not fair!!!
 

Forgot to mention, mispelling is not allowed in this game!
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&safe=off&q=armwrestle+avocados&spell=1

Close, but no cigar for you.

> Found my first!

> armwrestle avacados




Stop infoproduct theft dead

Here's a couple.... :)
 

zeroth Cambodian

("Zeroth" is like "first" and "second" - but for zero, instead of for one or two.)

Here's another

Googolplex Cambodian

(Don't know what it is about those Cambodians...)

A Googol is 1 followed by 100 zeros.... A Googolplex is 10 to the power of a Googol.

http://www.fpx.de/fp/Fun/Googolplex/

:)

- Dien

Re: Not fair!!!
 

Ok ok :)

tarantism veto

> Forgot to mention, mispelling is not allowed
> in this game!
>
> http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&safe=off&q=armwrestle
> +avocados&spell=1

> Close, but no cigar for you.

That's a good one!
 

I had to look up what "tarantism" means.

And I agree - it should be vetoed! ;)

- Dien

> Ok ok :)

> tarantism veto

Oops...
 

"Googolplex Cambodian" is not really a phrase, I guess....

But "zeroth Cambodian" is one (even though the idea of the "zeroth Cambodian" I admit doesn't really make much sense, I guess).... :)

- Dien

So you like this game?
 

Find out more at:
http://www.googlewhack.com/

BTW it looks like a new MEME
> I had to look up what "tarantism"
> means.

> And I agree - it should be vetoed! ;)

> - Dien




Prevent digital shrinkage

Re: Hi Dave...here's my attempt at prying a few bucks out of Bill Gates hands... assignment
 

Great letter, Erik! And I think Mr. Gates might just respond quite favorably, especially if he knew you were a "young kid" with gumption.

Chris

P.S. Why the hula hoop? How about a power chord to represent the PCs being hooked up at all those new houses? Maybe he could donate those, too...?

> Here's my letter:

> Dear Bill Gates,

> Here is one crisp, new dollar bill.

> This one dollar represents approximately
> .004% of my annual income. I am sending it
> to you in good faith. I am looking for an
> equal donation on a percentage basis from
> your arguably much heavier pocket to help
> some very good people.

> I want you to donate $3,000,000 to our
> Seattle Branch of Habitat for Humanity this
> year.

> We build simple, affordable housing with the
> sweat of volunteers and the generous
> donations of hundreds of small business
> owners across the country. Habitat has built
> over 45,000 homes across the United States
> in the last 23 years.

> I am writing to you, Mr. Gates, because no
> one in our organization has dared to before.
> I am writing to you because I want to
> impress upon you the need our organization
> has for extra resources to build homes.

> We need your $3 million dollar donation for
> the resources to construct 65 new houses for
> families in the Seattle area.

> These families are hard working Americans.
> They are mothers and fathers who want to
> give their kids better lives. They are
> brothers and sisters who simply want the
> same opportunities as their better off
> counterparts. They are families that are
> struggling, but with our help, they will
> have, for the first time in their lives,
> their very own homes.

> The children can grow up in homes, instead
> of moving yearly. They can stay at one
> school for more than a few short years. They
> can grow up and become even more so the good
> people they are.

> And undoubtedly, lifelong Microsoft
> customers. Scratch that, raving fans.

> Please support us with your donation.
> Contact me this week and we can set up an
> appointment to iron out the details. Or just
> send the check to “Habitat for Humanity”
> care of our director, Judy Wells (123 Main
> St. Seattle, WA 55555).

> Sincerely,

> Erik Lukas
> Habitat for Humanity

> P.S. I’m sure I don’t have to explain the
> tax implications of a charitable donation to
> you, but that’s just one more benefit in
> addition to helping so many wonderful
> people.

> (Plus I'll be including a hula hoop as an
> attention grabber)

I couldn't resist taking a Googlewhack at it...
 

I thought I had one with "plundering crap-weasel",
but the hyphen made it illegal.

But, I persevered and got one with...
"misanthropic popinjay". The two words actually
appear on a page in a book by Herman Melville.

OK, back to work [*sound of whip cracking!*]

Chris

The hula hoop vs. the power chord
 

> Great letter, Erik! And I think Mr. Gates
> might just respond quite favorably,
> especially if he knew you were a "young
> kid" with gumption.

I've heard alternately that he's pure evil and that he's not a bad guy. The thing is, he really lives in another universe from any of us. In that, he's past material wants and needs (I would hope, dear God, the only other thing he could aim to possess is small country!) are all satisfied.

But does it make him happy? That's the strange part. I'd like to get inside his head and really see what he thinks and what makes him tick.

Power and control are what I've heard from others who are vocal. But maybe that's just billionaire envy.

> P.S. Why the hula hoop? How about a power
> chord to represent the PCs being hooked up
> at all those new houses? Maybe he could
> donate those, too...?

Why not both? I'm kidding. I just had a joke with a friend about a hula hoop and adding it to our repertoire of attention getting devices.

The power chord sounds good too, Chris :)

Success,

Erik