TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

I'm not really sure why I'm posting this here. Maybe what I really need is a shrink.

In the last few hours, I've essentially become someone else.

Everything is the opposite of what it was. Down is up and vice versa.

One way to describe it is, sudden onset paranoia -- mainly having to do with the business side of things. I no longer trust anyone.

My belief if 'entrepreneurial stuff' isn't just shaken -- it's been SHATTERED! (again, suddenly)

Everything I trusted + believed in + STRIVED FOR, now seems like a pile of manure -- to be shunned.

What were my "peeps," I now see as more or less a bunch of slick, self-serving hucksters -- or even con artists.

What I once saw as a vast field of possibilities (biz-wise), I now see as a bogus bunch of bubbles + illusions.

Before I trusted EVERYONE -- now I trust NO ONE (biz wise).

The shift happened all within the last few hours -- as the (seeming) result of (yet another) potential customer bailing out of a project... oh, and a flurry of attempts at some other biz projects that failed.

From my "new" point of view, I see that those projects were just fantasies in my mind -- all kept afloat by my own thinking (ONLY) -- in other words, just a 'legend in my own mind.' The rest of the world being totally unaware that I even exist.

What worries me is, this is not like me. I'm usually the "get up and keep going" type of guy. I usually trust EVERYONE and EVERYTHING.

Now the opposite is true.

Am I suddenly recognizing INSANITY (in others) all around me? -- Or was I sane before, and now I've become the insane one? Did I just LEAVE the insane club, or have I just JOINED it?

Is (almost blind) belief in "entrepreneurial stuff" a motivational blessing -- or a POISON?!?

Anyone else experience this sudden mind shift before?

And, if so, did you ever recover -- and how did you recover?

-- TW

PS: I've also lost my sense of humor, suddenly. I can't bring myself to 'rely on the kindness of strangers,' as before. The world looks like a giant self-serving PRISON YARD to me, right now. It went from being a happy place, to being a very dangerous place. It's all I can do to post this message here.

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

Hi TW,

All I can say is, practically everyone has "self doubts" every now and then - and even the occasional "crisis"! I certainly have...!

Sometimes they might be a real "wake up" call, and it could be a sign steering you in a new direction... Other times, they might just be the result of frustration. (Or even lack of sleep!) Sometimes it's just the result of a string of bad luck...

This is a good time to have friends. As the saying goes, "No man is an island" (and "no woman is an island" either)!

Recently, it's really dawned on me how important your friends (and even acquaintances) are. True friends support you when you're down. (Of course, among friends I'm also including supportive relatives, spouse, etc.) Make sure you spend time with your friends and acquaintances who are emotionally supportive of you and what you are trying to do.

That's what helps me get through things!

Sometimes it seems like you're in the darkest part of the night, before the dawn breaks...

Best wishes,

Dien

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

Thanks Dien.

When I do have a sense of humor, it's a dark one. Your comment reminded me of something Gary Halbert (not his line, I don't think) -- he said... "The darkest hour is just before everything goes pitch black."

Or, as I put it to a friend, "I can see the dark at the end of the tunnel."

Friends are a good way to find support.

Problem is, in this case, I'm not quite sure if my 'friends' will lead me in the correct direction. As I said in my op, my 'friends' all are firm believers in 'entrepreneurial stuff' -- and maybe THAT'S the problem!

Are THEY on the right track -- or are they just 'kool aid' drinkers (deluded people)?

That's the fundamental question.

Is the key to ultimate satisfaction + success to follow the entrepreneurial path? Or is that really the road to hell (financially) in disguise?

What good does it do to get directions from people who live in la-la land? Are they just pulling me back into the bucket?

-- TW

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

Hi TW,

First, I'll just mention, I'm coming out of a bit of a "dark time" myself... Several things "went wrong" within a short time period. Then... Just yesterday, one thing fixed itself. Something happened that showed me the road to fix one of the things, and I figured out how we'll fix the 3rd thing that went wrong.Today, the last thing will (hopefully) be on the road to being fixed...

(The last thing that went wrong, by the way, is my laptop. My laptop went kaput! Aargh! But... Luckily, I had just backed it up a few days before it did! I hadn't backed it up for months, then thought, it's about time I backed it up on my external hard drive. Thank goodness for that, since it could have been much worse! I'm writing this on an "older", slower laptop... But at least I have all my data on my external hard drive backup! I'm taking my regular laptop in for repairs today...)

As to whether your friends are leading you in the wrong direction... Are they successful entrepreneurial friends? If not, that doesn't mean you should "ditch" them... But, get yourself some additional entrepreneurial friends who have had some success... Their "counsel" may prove itself to be more valuable...

Successful entrepreneurs are all around. Some have had "more" success than others, but successful entrepreneurs are really not that hard to find. They're in your community, they're at seminars and conferences (not only on stage, but also in the audience), they may even be distant relatives or old "long-lost" (ready to be re-found) high school friends, they're probably emailing you stuff (if you're on their mailing list), heck, they're even in this forum... :)

If you want to know how to find very successful entrepreneurs, get one of Thomas Stanley's books, "Marketing to the Affluent", "Selling to the Affluent", and/or "Networking with the Affluent"... (I have the first two books, but not the third...)

Of course, every relationship has to be "win/win" for it to work...

Cheers,

Dien

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

Been there, done that. 1996 I discovered that everything I knew, was wrong.

It's like suddenly coming out into a bright afternoon from a dark theatre. All was fantasy there in the dark, and it was a fun place to be. Most entertaining.

When you come outside it feels other worldly and you have to squint until your eyes adjust to the bright light of reality.

I recovered and can see fine now.

Recovery came from learning two truths.

1. "Expectations are premeditated resentments."

2. "Only play in games that you can win."

Think long on number one. There's a lot to see behind that saying.

Number two takes some thought as well, but you'll find it good advice.

Just speculating on your case here...

You expected somebody to do X and either he didn't do anything, or he did D instead. Now you have resentment.

What that somebody did or did not do caused you harm of some sort, so you came out the loser.

Next time, set yourself up so that no matter what happens when dealing with others you can't lose. No need for expectations, they either perform or not and you don't care which because you can't lose whatever game you're playing.

Recent example of mine. I made an offer of help, in exchange for a future partnership in a project. I am doing the work whether or not the other party performs, so I can't lose anything. I had some expectations of the other party, but I made sure to express them up front. No assumptions, no trust, just a statement of needs.

Like most such deals, like yours, it blew up for unknown reasons. The guy just stopped communicating with me. Who knows why? The bigger question is who cares? I certainly don't, because I only play games I can't lose, and if I have expectations (it's very hard not to have them) I express them up front.

Find somebody to give you a good HUG, and welcome to the shiny side.:cool:

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

Hi, TW,

You've had a big disappointment so it is perfectly natural to question anything and everything related to the disappointment. This coping mechanism that you're feeling now is a good sign (even if it doesn't feel like it now) because it means you have the capacity to cope with things and figure it out.

The upside of this coping/depressive syndrome is that, eventually, you will come out on the other side of it with a stronger, better, understanding. It's the LIGHT at the end of the tunnel but remember: you must navigate the dark tunnel to see the light. Stay the course, use your head, friends, any other resources you have, and you will come out much the better for it.

Yes, I've been there, done that. It changed a lot for me...from quitting the Warrior Forum to modifying goals and strategies. It's been tons better for me, personally. A bit painful to discover the illusions but rewarding to also discover the gems among the rubble. Look for your gems, TW. Best wishes for your successful journey to entrepreneurial enlightenment.

Sandi Bowman

P.S. You may find it useful to start an informal journal to record discoveries, thoughts, things to explore etc.

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

Hey TW,

Yes, it's happened to me. But there's a quick cure . . .

There are only two operating states in this life: CAUSE and EFFECT. You're always going to be operating in one or the other of these states in life. This is not to say that one or the other is better. Both are necessary to live life, but there needs to be a balance. I'm sure you can think of effects that you have experienced that have been enjoyable (i.e., not negative). But when it becomes overbalanced, and you feel that you are more EFFECT than you are able to be CAUSE, then you can get the idea that being EFFECT is not good (no fun). The solution is to find a way to return yourself to the condition of being CAUSE.

The silly joke of it all is that even when you are operating at EFFECT, you are CAUSING it.

Here's the mechanics of it: When you blame someone or something else for your condition, you are electing them or it CAUSE and yourself EFFECT.

Get it?

It's a choice. Fill in the blanks: ______________ is causing me to feel ______________ (fill in the effect you are experiencing in the second blank). It doesn't matter what you put in the first blank . . . "Joe Blow doing me rotten" or "Green cheese" or whatever. It could be any one of a million-million things. But you only need ONE reason to elect yourself EFFECT, and it doesn't matter what it is. If you believe that "X" is CAUSE and you are the EFFECT of "X", then you have spoken, and so it is.

Ah, but the million dollar question: How do you get yourself out of the condition of being the EFFECT of "X"? Well, by switching over to becoming CAUSE, of course.

Yes, yes, yes . . . but HOW???

It's all about INTENTION and ATTENTION.

While you may or may not be able to control how you feel right at the moment, you certainly can generate an INTENTION to do something about it. Or you can generate an INTENTION to do nothing about it. That's true, isn't it? Again, it's a choice.

So the first step is to WANT to return to the state of CAUSE.

Is this what you want?

You see, like your INTENTIONS, your ATTENTION is something you can control. If returning to a state of being CAUSE is what you want, then this is where you must direct your ATTENTION.

From what you have said, right now your ATTENTION is stuck on something negative. There is a quick cure for this: Direct your attention to things which are NOT negative, and continue doing that until you no longer feel negative (i.e., until your attention is no longer stuck on the negative).

Do this: Go out and take a walk. As you are walking, look around in your environment and find something that is not dangerous and/or not threatening to you. Look at a tree and ask yourself: Is that tree dangerous to me? Is that tree threatening me right now? Keep doing this - - - keep looking around and finding things that are not dangerous or not threatenting to you - - - until you feel better about things. I've used the mere fact of taking a walk and looking at things in the environment to pull myself out of the mud more than a couple of times times. It works.

Here's the thing: If you allow your ATTENTION to be fixed on negative things, you will be stuck at being EFFECT (I'll never recover from this . . . ", "I can't do anything about this . . . " type of thoughts). Remember, it's YOUR attention. Generate an intention to take your attention back from the negative that has swallowed it up. Taking a break from newspapers, TV and other media would be a big step in that direction. Their whole game is putting negative thoughts in your mind and getting you to dwell on "how bad it all is". Don't buy into it. And disassociate from negative people. They are vampires. Get them out of your life.

Hope that helps a little.

---- Hugh

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

Thanks all.

There's a lot to ponder on there. Also, it's good to know I'm not the only one.

I think the overall problem can be sumed up this way:

I thought I could identify 'diseases' and 'cures.' Now I'm not so sure. What once appeared as a disease, appears now as a cure -- and vice versa. It's disheartening + disorienting.

The end of the spectrum I was running towards, now seems like the end of the spectrum to AVOID.

Analogy: I don't know if any of you ever listen to the radio show, "Coast to Coast." It's the overnight show that gets into esp, ufo's and all that tin-foil-hat type stuff. I really don't take the show seriously -- I just listen for amusement sake. Anyhow, they have koo-koo guests (real nutjobs), AND they have totally legit guests (real scientists, etc.) on too. Here's the thing/problem -- the host treats ALL the guests EXACTLY the same way! Luckily, I can tell the difference.

But what if I couldn't? Or worse -- what if the nutjobs seemed legit, and vice versa?

That's where I'm at right now with my sudden mindset shift. I can't distinguish between cure and disease -- and I'm now seeing that BOTH are treated in EXACTLY the same way, so that does NOT provide any clues!!

The Bernie Madoffs of the world PRESENT THEMSELVES in EXACTLY the same way people who can really help you do.

Believing in people +/or ideas, etc. who SAY they are going to help you is not a 'mode' that will lead one in the right direction, in all cases.

Klunkers + con artists + people who truly BELIEVE they can help you (but can't) all APPEAR the same way. The disease LOOKS + ACTS just like a cure -- and vice versa.

Realizing that puts one (at first) at a mind-numbing loss.

-- TW

I'm drowning -- and I can't tell what people are tossing...
 

I can't tell if what well-meaning people are tossing me are life savers
---- or ANVILS!

Asking the people who are doing the tossing will not serve to determine if they are tossing me life savers, or ANVILS.

The tossers all look THE SAME. Scammers, well-meaning people who don't know what the &*#@&^&(&% they're talking about, and real life savers all look the same to me, suddenly.

The scary thing is, maybe I never could tell the difference.

-- TW

Re: I'm drowning -- and I can't tell what people are tossing...
 

Hi TW,

Sounds like you are involved in one or more projects that you are trying to make work but are having a hard time making them work.

In one of your posts before you talked about prospects not returning your calls. Now you talk about a prospect bailing out on you. If this is the same project then you have made this project your "baby" and just can't let go because of the time and effort you have already put into it.

Not all "babies" turn out to be great teenagers! Some times we have to let them go. Period. Time to clear the slate and do some soul searching. If you can't trust or know that others are giving you good or bad advise then depend on yourself only at this time. Later when you are thinking better you can use the help of others.

I think from what you wrote that the main problem is business and that is also affecting other parts of your life. I may be way off base here because from reading posts a person can not get the true picture. If I'm off base then use the following as you see fit.... as wisdom or toilet paper.

I'm going to assume that it is the business projects that are the root of your bad thinking right now and suggest a way that works for me.

Trun off the computer for a couple of hours and do the following. Write down on a piece of paper all the things you could do to make money. Don't leave out anything no matter how bright or stupid it sounds right now. Also while making this list include other things that you would like to do. Like lose weight or stop smoking, etc. Keep writing this list until you really have to think for a few minutes before you can come up with any more ideas for your list. Then take a break and then come back to your list. During your break you will most likely think of a few more things. Put them on your list.

You should have at least 50 to 100 or more things on your list now. Here is what you do with the list.

Let's say a few things on your list are:

Write articles
Set up auto-responder for others
Stop smoking
Lose 10 pounds
Go bowling
ETC.

Now that you have your list rate each item on your list 1 to 5 as far as how fast you can get it done, What materials you need, What knowledge you have to get it done. So the list above might look like this with 5 being you have everything you need and 1 being you have very little knowledge or equipment to get it done.

Write Articles: 2 time involved 5 computer 3 Knowledge
Set up auto-responder for others: 5 time involved 5 equipment 5 knowledge
Lose 10 Pounds 5 time involved 2 equipment 5 knowledge

Then you take the ones with the 5's and start with them Think about how to make money with them.

Above is auto-responders and lose 10 pounds are the best to start with.

You could check on websites to see if they use a sign up form to capture name and email. The ones that don't have one offer to set this up for them for a fee.

You could lose 10 pounds by walking so offer to do friends and neighbors lawns for a fee. Get to make money AND lose ten pounds.

You get the idea.

Find what you can do quick and make some money at it. It does not have to be a lot of money right now. It will grow as your thinking gets better. Right now you just want quick successes. After a few successes you will be in a much better mood in all of your life's actions.

This way you are not depending on anyone other then yourself, so just trust yourself. Later on you will be able to see clearly and make better choices.

Best of success,

Skip Rosell

Re: I'm drowning -- and I can't tell what people are tossing...
 

Hey Skip -- I appreciate your help.

I can't eliminate the 'project' that's most troubling me -- I depend on it. It's too big to fail, in my little world.

But I've also tried (unsuccessfully) to branch out + try other things. I am always met with the same 'greeting.'

--- "Go jump in a lake." (or worse) ---

So, when others 'sell' me stuff where that supposedly won't happen -- and it does -- suddenly everyone looks like a complete con artist.

Unfortunately, I am 'learning' to IGNORE my own belief system (ignore my own usual, natural trusting optimism). It keeps getting INTO (more) trouble, instead of getting me OUT of trouble.

Everyone is very friendly to me, so long as I am writing checks TO them. I can't seem to find anyone who wants to write checks TO me. Those types are very UNfriendly.

As far as starting small -- it seems to make no difference whether I start big or small. It all turns out DOA.

I'll keep trying -- but now I am GUNSHY + very, VERY suspicious of any life savers -- there's a good chance they are actually ANVILS in disguise... and I'm getting pretty tired of holding my breath when i go under.

Cheers(?)

-- TW

Re: I'm drowning -- and I can't tell what people are tossing...
 

Hi TW,

Sounds like something Yoga would say. He said "No one goes there anymore because it is too busy". :) You say it is too big to fail. :)

TW, Fail Fast is the motto we should go by. What I do is take every offer with a grain of salt. I test it and see if it will work on a small scale. If it sounds logical (Don't they all) I test it quickly to see if it has merit and then decide if I wanted to expand it or lose it. Most (80%) get lost. Out of the 20% I decide if I want to keep on doing it (about 2%).

Now my area happens to be in writing make quick cash reports. So the 20% that show some profits I write a report on as a case study. Only about 2% do I work myself because my area is writing reports not running a 100 programs. If I ran each one that showed a profit I would be spread too thin and make no progress in my business.

Does that mean the 80% are con jobs? Don't know. Didn't get to that stage where I devoted a lot of time to make them work. They may be right for some one else but not for me. I am looking only for "Quick Cash" programs. Everything else I try to ignore. But you have to test all according to the program and not make up your own rules. Here is a story that will show what I'm trying to say.

I belong to a membership site and one of the members gave out a program for free. (Well not really free, I pay membership dues each month). It generated a lot of interest BUT not many success stories. It sounded good but I was concerned with the lack of success by others. Then I re-read the posts and in almost every one of the posts the writer of the post was trying to change the program is some way BEFORE they tried it by the rules.

Instead of just following the 10 steps the author gave they added other ways of doing it. That made it a different program. Instead of keeping it simple and just follow the 10 steps they wanted to make it better and bigger. Sooooo

I decided to just follow the steps and see what happened. The report was on selling common domain names. I tried it and gave it a test of 10 campaigns that cost me $80 for registration fees. I made a profit of $646 dollars on those 10 campaigns. I wrote the author and told him my success story. He wrote back saying that I was only the second person out of over 200 that just followed the steps "per se" and both were success stories. That is out of the ones that contacted him.

Now with that success did I just jump right into the program and make a fortune? NO. For me it is boring to do the same steps over and over again just to make money. Not my type of thing. So instead I wrote a case study report on my success and someone who is more detailed then me can probably make a full time living from this method.

Some fit some don't. So it cost me $80 and about 5 hours to find out this works, but fails for me. Fail Fast is the motto.

I don't know how long you have been working the program that is big for you but if it is making money for you, but not the kind of money that you want to make, and it is something that you love doing then my suggestion is to branch out in more of the same instead of different programs. If it is something that you are doing just for money scale it back to where you are happy, (remember the 80/20 rule) and then find other outlets that you love doing and the money will follow. Any business can benefit from the 80/20 rule. 80% of your profits come from 20% of your business. Zero in on the %20 and you will change your outlook on life in general.

I hope things work out for you, TW, and for all the other SowPubbers that are struggling in this fun, hair pulling, nail biting internet game.

Best of success,

Skip

Ah, a Red Pill Taker. Good. Good.
 

Tim,

Thanks for ASKing.

Seems someone has taken some more Matrix Red Pills. Awesome. Now watch the trilogy again and you'll get Much more out of it.

Embrace your feelings. You are nearly now totally unplugged and awake.

Okay. Here's the deal....

You Think (believe) entrepreneurialism is The way to go. Everyone says it so it Must be true, right?

Well, they're wrong!!!

Go grab the major daily paper that has all those bidnesses for sale. See the lawnmowing franchise? See the small store? See their incomes are not really any better than a Job?

Talking to a hairsalon owner in a shopping center. Her turnover is over $100k. The magic world... Turnover. Take away rent, phone, power, etc., and she is maybe left with an Income of $25k. She SHOULD get rid of the business and go get a 9-5 working Mon to Fri for the same $$$. If she worked out her Hourly Rate it'd probably be someone around $5 and she has Business Owner Headaches.

What ails you is this... marketing is a drag. If people would just call you and say, "Tim, my man, come on over pronto and do your thing", you'd jump. BUT that's not what happens. What happens is more like this...



Because... well, frankly... what you're offering isn't wanted by the people you're offering it to. It's as plain as that. As Halbert said... "sell solutions to problems people are ALREADY concerned about". NO existing concern, then forget about it.

If you ran an ad that said, "XXXX AVAILABLE. Call 555-5555 for free details" or something along those lines, would you generate sales/inquiries? If "no" then people are Not actively looking for what you have to offer.

Check the Yellow Pages. How many other's are offering the same thing you are? Any? If so, how many in last year's edition and the year before that too? Are they the same people year after year?

Apart from not being concerned with whatever it is you're selling, they DO have their mindset set on Kill. Because you're about the 20th person to call them today wanting their money. But here's a little secret... most business owners don't have much money. But they must keep up the illusion that they do or what would people think? That they're failures and Need to get a job?

HEY! There is nothing wrong with a job. Jobs can make you Satisfied. They can provide Income without Headache. They can provide a closer comradery you cannot get from Boss/Staff or Business Owner / Client because all staff are in the same boat - some think about it differently, though.

People THINK the best course is... go to school to get a Good education. Go to Uni to get a degree. Get a Good job with that degree. Get married. Have 2.1 kids. Buy a family sedan and live in a three bedroom home with Study and picket fence. Work for the man until you retire, at which time you will have Maybe paid off your house.

They think it because that's just what you do.

Tim. To function in the world you do NOT need all that Schooling. If you can read and write and do basic math you have all you need to function. You might not get a job as an engineer, but so what?

You know what a steelfixer does? They tie steel together in readiness for concrete to be poured onto it. Do you have any idea how much these guys are paid? A bulkload more than the snooty receptionist of any company who looks down on Dirty Workers I can assure you. And it don't take much school'n to be a steelfixer. Don't take business moxy to tie steel either. No clients to harass. No trying to get $$$ from someone who has none - even if they have heaps they have none, understand?

The great American dream... start a business and become mega wealthy. WHO promotes this dream? Those selling a business, business kit, franchise, banks, etc. In short, everyone who would benefit from you following that course. People who want your $$$ or your indebtedness (future $$$). (Parents want trophy kids)

Those (family, etc.) promoting School/Uni/Degree/Good Job either also gain from you taking that course of action - or - have done so themselves and now don't want to be the bunny. Notice no-one ever tells you the water is Freezing and not to jump in?

So which is it, business or job? It's whatever gives YOU the most Satisfaction. If YOU are more satisfied with a job doing X, then get a job doing X. If YOU are more satisfied with a business doing Y, then have a business doing Y. The key words here being YOU & SATISFIED. NOwhere in this paragraph have I mentioned $$$.

Now Tim. You first need to lower your expectations to Zero or below. Like I said to a trainee rigger the other day when he asked me about the lift we were about to do... I expect it to go totally sh*thouse. So anything other than that is a bonus and I can never be disappointed. I will endeavor to not make it happen, but it's what I expect.

Eg: I expect ALL my marketing to be a complete and utter waste of time and money and generate zero results. Think this way and you can never be disappointed.

Michael Ross

PS. By the way, the world looks like a Prison Yard because it is one. ALL Govts and their departments are actually Corporations which you can look up yourself on Dun & Bradstreet - yes, even the Police, education dept, schools, etc., etc. You willingly and under-coercion hand over your personal power to them because you don't know any better.

P.P.S. You are thinking normal - as in, not as much asleep as the masses. The frustration you are feeling is a result of your more awakened mind trying to deal on the same level with minds that are asleep. With minds that spout forth things they've heard elsewhere without checking themselves, that do not question anything in a serious manner, that will hear something important and ask when the game is on. Minds that try to make you come back into the fold. Resist, Tim. Resist. And delve further into the rabbit hole.

P.P.P.S Remember...

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

Hi, TW - you've been on my mind because I've been wondering/worrying about how you're getting on? I hope you're in a better place than when you first started this thread.

Anyway, I came across a really great book yesterday which I thought might give your business a good structure - it came from a company called Infusionsoft. They are software suppliers of a customer relationship managment software - and, naturally, they hope that a percentage of people who read this ebook will eventually subscribe to their service. However, it is definitely not a prerequisite and, because I thought it such a fantastic read and a great manual for building, I decided to post a link to it here. It's not an affiliate link (although if the product's as good as the book, it should be!)

The start of the book tells of how Clate Mask, who started up a company with college buddies, was in a terrible financial hole:


He then goes on to describe how the company started to grow, how they managed everything better and how this was the start of the CRM software that they sell now.

Like I say, this isn't a pitch for the software - this is just a pitch to read the book because it gives a structure (and a reason for the structure) to building a business; it applies to my own shop just as it does to online business or a manufacturer. I printed the book off - because I want to dip in and out of it every now and again.

OK, you can find the book, called "The Edge of Success" at http://www.infusionsoft.com/ebooks

... I haven't read the others ..... yet

Best
Margaret

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

I enjoyed the demotivational posters, good stuff.
However, your tagline of "there's always a way" seemed at odds with the message of "it's futile."
As for earnings, well... you're right that many entrepreneurs are not making much (if any) money these days, but there are other tangible benefits to owning your own business, such as freedom to create your own schedule, writing off business expenses, and of course pride in having created something. I had a real estate investing business once upon a time, and it went great for a little while, until the market crashed.
Not to mention that jobs are scarcer and scarcer to come by.
Thanks for the post,

___________________
GBD
Real Estate Investing Article Database

Thanks Margaret...
 

I'm doing much better now, thanks.

I'm assessing + reassessing things. Kind of a mind-boggling process.

I went to the link with the ebook you recommended -- thanks. I haven't read the book yet ... also there's another book on that same page that looks good too.

Some of the suggestions on this board have been confusing + conflicting.

Ex...

A) One side says to approach prospects with a very specific + DEFINITE offer for ONE particular service or product. The other 'side' say s NOT to do that, but rather to build up trust (in general) over time, and NOT to offer anything specific. Like, "I do [general category], and if you ever need anything like that, give me a call..."

My gut (+ experience + reality) tells me it's generally better to do the former, not the latter.

B) One side says, "HELL! If the prospect doesn't say YES right away, I just tell them "too bad" (in effect), and merely move on to the next prospect. This brings to mind the cliche "Mr. GRUFF," salesperson in a plaid jacket, chomping on a cigar. The "other" side says the opposite -- with concepts like, "the sale begins after the prospect says no," and, "the average prospect says NO 7 times (objections) before they say YES."

My gut (+ experience + reality) tells me to go with the latter philosophy, not the former.

But you can see how these opposing bits of 'advice' seem to 'disprove' and discredit one another, yes?

-- TW

PS: If I adopt M. Ross' perspective, I'd have to conclude that people like Zig Zigler are the anti-Christ -- that the glass is half-empty, and anyone who tells you otherwise is El Diabolo -- and I know that's not right.

Which is why, HIT THE BALL beats expert advice in the long run.
 

I've frustrated many a golfer (and marketer too) with my HIT THE BALL teaching approach. It is different, much harder in the beginning to grasp and often too difficult a concept for the masses. It is, however, a far superior way to teach golf or almost anything else.

It is the ACTION-ReAction/Adjust/More ACTION/FEEDBACK/adjust MODEL.

Unless someone has great hand-eye coordination and is athletic to begin with, the PGA model of the golf swing won't work for the masses.

The HIT THE BALL way will work everytime. Why? Because it is personal.

Applied to a conflicting advice situation:

You have hit the ball. You know what doesn't work. From personal, in the field experience. You have results. But what appears to be lacking is the adjustment based on feedback.

If you slice the ball, it tells you that the club face was open and/or coming from the outside in at the time of contact. The trajectory and flight path tell you what the clubface was doing at impact.

You have to adjust your swing or club to decrease the slice.

YET, go to any driving range in the world. Watch golfer after golfer hit slice after slice after slice...all trying to change the result while applying the same action over and over and over. Isn't that the working definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?

No different in sales or service than it is in golf.

Would you take golf advice from Tiger Woods or from ME?

If you pick Tiger, then you simply don't get it. Taking advice from Tiger will kill your golf game simply because he is at a much higher level, and the REAL advice that could lower your scores needs to come from YOU and from someone who understands your swing and what you are trying to achieve.

Yet, in the real world, we buy books by Jack, Tiger, Lee, Arnie and Ben, thinking their PROFESSIONAL opinions will be helpful, and the national average of the average American golfer is the same as it was 30 years ago. Despite advances in courses and equipment.

If I were getting frustrated over what I was doing, I'd take a "social worker" approach, the one I used in the group homes for 10 years, and that is simply, TRY ANOTHER WAY.

If what you are doing isn't working, try another way. Cut off the advice.
Hit the Ball. ANALYZE it.

Hit the ball. Try another way. Hit the ball. Feedback.

And if it gets to the point of the frustration we've seen here...then,
maybe it is time to give up golf and take up tennis.

That is advice I've given to more than one of my golf students...and they, eventually, were glad they heeded the advice and are happily hitting the ball back and forth over the net, and not back and forth over the green.

Gordon Jay Alexander

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

LR,

The Futile posters were to get across a point. To keep your expectations at zero so you can never be disappointed. If you have Zero expectations but Know there is always a way, you will keep plugging along until you do get it (figure it out, achieve it, etc.).

You do not need a business to have Pride in creating something. BUT, if you never have a job which you feel proud of your achievements - regardless of what Other People think of those achievements - then you will feel unsatisfied. And that could see you look for a business to buy or whatnot. Hence the idea that most of the franchise businesses for sale (lawn mowing, cleaning, etc.) are aimed at people are not satisfied with their Job as the money made is no different than that from a job.

This freedom to create your own schedule is not as it seems. Depending on the business you are Not free to create any other schedule than that which is forced onto you. A Cleaner is Forced by the nature of the business to operate at certain fixed schedules, for instance. There are no Holidays. No Sick pay. Often you can be More Trapped by such businesses than freed.

Obviously I am speaking from my experiences in Australia, but down here Jobs are only as scarce as your willingness to work. If you are willing to work Without a Job Snob attitude where you think certain jobs are beneath you, then you Will easily find work.

I saw a guy on a train. He had rust stains on his shoulder - a tell tale sign of a steel fixer. I asked him, "Are you a steel fixer?" From this small intro he informed me he had been in the country for 3 days and this was his first day of work. He was going to get off the train at a certain station and then Walk home. He told me the suburb and that would have been a two hour walk. I told him to stay on the train as it went by his suburb (he didn't know where the station was).

He also told me he was living with two people (a couple) who were unemployed and had been for a while. When he had done the two hour walk previously to seek work he asked his flatmate if he wanted to come and get work as well. His unemployed flatmate with nothing to do was mysteriously too busy and remains unemployed.

My friend's brother is unemployed. he is only willing to work if he lands a middle to upper management job. He's been unemployed for months. He's a job snob.

Michael Ross

Try Jacques
 

TW,

Ultimately you'll do whatever the heck you want - as you should. But my post is not meant to be half empty. It is meant to Ease your distress.

If you have your expectations high and achievement is not had, you are disappointed. If you have them low and achievement is not met you are not disappointed and can rationally work on a new approach instead of blaming the world for not understanding.

Think of it as driving on the road. You unwittingly have certain expectations of the other drivers. You expect them to at least have your ability and road sense. When they Show they do not have your developed skills of road use you become agitated - probably even curse at them, right?

BUT

If you lower your expectations, when they stuff up you can avoid distress because after all, what can you expect from a pathetic driver? You can thus drive accordingly and remain calm behind the wheel, correct?

When you approach a girl you like the look of to ask/tell whatever, you may get foot in mouth. You have an expectation and a want. BUT, you can easily approach a girl you have zero interest in to converse (in a shop, for directions, in a parking lot for flat tire assistance or jump start, etc.) All changes because of YOUR expectations and what YOU want.

When you go into a business you need to know that... they likely have no $$$, have been approached 20 times that day already, and have a myriad of other things on their mind. Knowing this and adjusting your expectations to avoid bitter disappointment is not half empty, it is prudent for your mental well being.

For a different approach to selling, have a look at what Jacques Werth (http://www.highprobsell.com) has to offer. His techniques are design to avoid sales burnout and you can find some articles of his online in various places.

Michael Ross

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

Michael -- thanks for the JW link -- I'll definitely take a look.

But -- I just *CAN'T* bring myself to subscribe to the 'set your goals low, so/and you won't/can't be disappointed' philosophy.

That IS the-glass-is-half-empty, no matter how you slice it.

One could argue that it's 'realistic' -- but that's merely how all people who have given up on optimism 'couch' (disguise, rationalize) their jaded world view.

I refuse (blindly, perhaps) to, in the lyrics of "The Boss," 'end up like a dog who's been beat too much.'

I believe hope springs eternal -- and that's a good thing, not a laughable one.

But perhaps you're right, and blindly running towards the hopeful end of the spectrum just (ironically) leads one to the opposite end, and vice versa.

Maybe the cure IS the disease -- and vice versa. Who knows.

-- TW

Michael -- common ground -- now THAT makes sense!
 

I just got through reading the reviews of High Prob. Selling (book).

It looks like just what I need! Thanks! Talks about (among other things), how to LAY THE GROUND RULES for the sales 'relationship.' Which is exactly what I've had trouble doing. Not sure what the solutions are in the book -- but I'm definitely gonna give it a try! It seems the book addresses the fundamental problems I've been experiencing -- the Willie Lowman syndrome. The SPECIFIC aspects of that syndrome that bother me, and not the other aspects of it that do not bother me (which I believe cannot be avoided any way).

So... thanks again!

-- TW

PS: When the student is ready, the teacher -- blah, blah, blah.

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

TW,

See if'n you can find some articles of his to get a deeper gist of his approach.

I do Not mean to set your Goals low. Have goals as lofty as you like. And know there is Always a way to make it, sell it, create it, achieve it, do it, etc. It's not a question of the desired outcome but about the emotional stake you place in your efforts to obtain the desired outcome.

Think of Agent Smith fighting Neo in the 2nd Matrix. Where Neo is fighting 30 agents. In the end Neo flies away leaving Smith to look on. Smith doesn't chuck a hissy fit in disappointment. He takes it in his stride and simple walks off. Sure he had a goal - destroy Neo - and it certainly Drove him, but he was not emotionally dependent on any one of his efforts working as is seen by his reaction when his efforts fail.

I find it hard to write precisely what I Mean in this regard. But you'll understand it some point of your own accord. In the mean time I think Jacques stuff you'll find interesting.

Michael Ross

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

I see your point + I'll post more on that philosophical topic later -- but, for now (to use another movie analogy)... I'd MUCH rather be Forest Gump, than his girlfriend -- Meaning, I'd much rather be at the 'blind faith' end of the spectrum than the I've-been-pummeled-by-life-so-I-accept-that-life-is-basically-a-drag-which-is-why-I-smoke-and-have-tattoos end of the spectrum.

-- TW

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

Wish you well, TW. Some of the best posts in this thread (and potentially very useful to others like the sales appearance one) were deleted so...waste of time. Good luck.

Sandi Bowman

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

Hi Sandi,

TW has started multiple threads... I think you mean this post from a different thread...

http://www.sowpub.com/forum/showthread.php?p=24928

I agree - it's an excellent post, about something not always discussed. :)

Best wishes,

Dien

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

Thanks, Dien. Methinks me needs some zzzzz's...;)

Sandi Bowman

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

I'm not a doctor and this is not medical advice. That said, it sounds like you might have a physical problem that is suddenly causing these symptoms of depression (that is what it seems to be). My suggestion: get to a good doctor ASAP. A nutritional deficiency can cause symptoms like this but they don't usually appear over night.

People on the internet in particular are often overwhelmed by the negativity and hard scrabble atmosphere that pervades the place. Many folks have found that restricting, or eliminating, news channels helped them to regain their sense of safety and balance. Remember this: garbage in, garbage out. This is especially true when you're subjecting yourself to unnecessary (ie: other people's) tragedies. Be kinder to yourself, be happier, and who cares if you don't know who did what to whom? You'll find you care even less the further away from the dramatics you get. Try it and see if it helps.

Sandi Bowman

TW... May want to Seriously get yourself to the hospital ASAP!
 

TW... bookmarkmaster? Identity theft... :confused:

If this is a serious post...

As per the Stroke like related comments... Depression/Confusion related issues etc... Lately in your posting...

Tragically a variety of misc. Strokes cause all kinds of Long term problems and are Happening way more than most people ever realize...

If not Definitely follow Sandi's advice and get to a good doctor ASAP...

Take care of yourself... I'm sure you've read through a few of the recent passings of particular internet marketers on a few misc. business forums...

As you can probably understand and Hopefully realize, a few of us are concerned about your well being...

Passage notice
http://www.sowpub.com/forum/showthread.php?p=25195

Unless your threads and posts are just meant to be Good marketing stories...

A few other recommended resources depending on your trip to the doctor... ;)
http://www.medgle.com/
http://www.omnimedicalsearch.com/
http://www.healthboards.com/

Phil

You're replying to a spammer...
 

Sandi & Phil

You're replying to a spammer who simply quoted TW message to leave a link - while also removing the Quote code which would have given it away. Their Spam Link and post has been deleted.

Michael Ross

Re: You're replying to a spammer...
 

Thanks Michael!

Figured something was just a little fishy...

Although with the mood of TW's posts lately...

Thought Sandi's comments were fairly accurate and it just might be time to get TW admitted into the Hospital for entrepreneurship overwhelmedness... ;)

Thinkmap Visual Thesaurus: Word Routes - On being overwhelmed, underwhelmed, and just plain whelmed...
http://www.visualthesaurus.com/cm/wordroutes/1503/

Phil

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

I go through some highs + lows, yes -- but really guys -- no hospitalization required. Thanks for the concern though. :-)

-- TW

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

Thanks for the info, Michael. I just reply to a post unless it is 'obvious' spam on the theory that, if someone really did need help, they'd get it. The spammers well...we all know where they can go, don't we?

TW, in all seriousness, you do seem to swing a rather wide path emotionally so perhaps some kind of checkup might be in order, just to be on the safe side. Doubt if you'd need anything as drastic as hospitalization, however.

Sandi Bowman

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

Thank you for that, Dr. Sandi.

Could be a good thing...
 

People buy via emotions, yes?

P'raps the ability to express emotions through typed words (copy) -- done in such a way that the reader can feel (absorb, pick up on) the emotions of the writer is a good skill to have when writing copy, no?

Cheers.

-- TW

Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?
 

Hey TW,
I once pursued a career in psychology (and have since abandoned it for real estate), but there was a principle that I found both impressive and disturbing that I think you might appreciate.
Basically, a series of research studies established that people suffering from depression were far more realistic in projecting what they were capable of doing in future endeavors, ranging from business projects to creative works, etc, while healthy individuals were wildly over-optimistic in their own abilities.
However, it was this very unfounded optimism that enabled the healthy individuals to occasionally succeed in doing something extraordinary and improbable. Because they were audacious enough to believe they were capable of superhuman feats, every once in a while they would pull off something deemed impossible or improbable by the researchers and the community at large.
So you see, while it's "rational" to be pragmatic in your assessment of what's possible, it is a case where reason actually inhibits your growth and progress. You're absolutely right about everyone else in the world being unreliable, and your business might be on shaky ground, and all of those other unpleasant thoughts - but those thoughts won't help you improve your business. Be unreasonable in your pursuits, and you'll achieve unreasonable results.
Hope that little social science pep talk helped!

Ignorance is bliss?
 

Maybe that's right.

One form of 'depression' is 'grandiosity' aka: illusions of grandeur.

I'm kinda bi-polar I guess. I swing from one to the other. My dad made me feel I could do anything + my mom, the reverse. So, I am a product of those two conflicting messages.

The thing that started this thread was my realizing that it is NOT easy to accomplish what I always thought/ASSUMED would be easy.

A 'where the rubber meets the road' moment.

Where grandiosity meets pragmatism. Where dream meets dirt.

I always went along life thinking, "oh, any time I want to, I can (just quickly) start [insert any number of "FOR-SURE" biz opps here]."

Then, as I finally started to DO/launch some of them, I realized it's not as easy/quick as I had always envisioned.

The bursting of a LONG-held balloon is shattering. It is the sudden elimination of the 'ignorance' you are saying is a good thing.

One can be too stupid to know any better + succeed BECAUSE of that -- but, presumably reality hits in similar ways, because reality is reality -- and, in the final analysis, there's NO getting around it/that. No?

-- TW