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Ankesh June 24, 2008 06:18 AM

Anyone aware of oxytocin and how to increase oxytocin levels in your body?

Shyness drug (oxytocin) could boost confidence:

But none of the above links tells precisely how we can increase oxytocin levels of our bodies...

What are some other ways you can use to boost your self confidence?

Sandi Bowman June 24, 2008 09:58 AM

Re: Oxytocin
You don't need drugs to boost your self confidence, Ankesh. Apparently you've glossed over, or didn't think through to the ultimate possibilities in the oxytocin links, or your question would not have been put forth as stated.

Messing with the hormone levels in the body inevitably affects other, seemingly unrelated, actions in the body. Just as no man is an island, no hormonal action in the body is a stand-alone event. Re-read the links and note the under-stated but still mentioned, adverse events and then follow through on those to learn more before you begin experimenting. You may decide the ultimate risks aren't worth it. At least, I hope you do.

The best way to increase self-confidence is to gain gradual, success upon success, in a given situation. This can be in closely monitored and guided group experiences, if necessary, or simply by exposing oneself to the specific situation in real life, go a bit beyond your comfort point each time until you've built up your confidence to handle the situation. Rinse and repeat.

Anyone who tells you there's a 'shortcut to social success (or any other kind of success)' has another motive...and it may not be what you hope or think it is.

Sandi Bowman

Dien Rice June 24, 2008 11:55 AM

Oxytocin and raising your confidence...

Originally Posted by Ankesh (Post 21532)
Anyone aware of oxytocin and how to increase oxytocin levels in your body?

Shyness drug (oxytocin) could boost confidence:

But none of the above links tells precisely how we can increase oxytocin levels of our bodies...

Hi Ankesh,

I also saw a similar article, and thought it was interesting...!

Anyway, here's how to increase your oxytocin levels according to one article I saw (

Quoting from the article...

  • Touch is very important. Interactive touch with human beings is best, but it doesn’t have to be limited to human beings. Touch happens between people and their pets.
  • Getting massage is helpful.
  • Walking, swimming in warm water, and all physical exercise is excellent. {Dien's note: I'm skeptical of this one}
  • Deep interaction, intimacy, and eye-contact are also important.
  • Sex releases oxytocin.

So, if oxytocin helps increase your confidence - one way is to do a lot of cuddling!

Another way is to get a pet - like a dog or cat - and pet your dog or cat on a regular basis. (I would get a pet you can stroke, like a dog, cat, or rabbit - and not one you can't, like a goldfish.)

And another way is to get a good massage... (Touch seems to be an important factor...)

I'm skeptical that exercise helps raise oxytocin levels, since this study seems to contradict that claim... (

By the way, I also read that oxytocin increases your trust levels too. So that's good to be aware of as well...

- Dien

Ankesh June 24, 2008 01:31 PM

Re: Oxytocin
Hi Sandi,


Maybe I forgot to mention a keyword. How to increase oxytocin levels *naturally*?

For eg: if we need more iron - we eat spinach. If we want to increase dopamine levels, there are breathing techniques to do - or you go breathe in pure oxygen.

I know I linked to an article that talks about oxytocin drugs - but I'm not looking for them. I'm looking for natural remedies.

In the little research I did, I could not find any food source or exercise or any other natural ways to increase oxytocin levels of the body. One link did say that using specific smells could be a way to increase oxytocin levels - but didn't go in detail...

Now obviouslty the best way to increase confidence is gaining expertise and experience. But I love researching short cuts. For eg: is there a specific candle you can light in the room or listen to some kind of music before you have to give a big speech - that could increase your oxytocin levels and make you a bit more confident?

Hope this clarifies the issue a bit Sandi.

doc0005 June 24, 2008 02:35 PM

Re: Oxytocin
Oxytocin is an FDA controlled substance!

Ingesting oxytocin in a pure form is not only illegal but it would be useless.

1. Oxytocin is destroyed by stomach acids.

2. Oxytocin has a three minute half-life in our blood stream.

The healthiest way to achieve optimal oxytocin levels is to urge the body and the mind to support its own oxytocin release.

Building trusting relationships is a process and is not something that takes place within a few moments in time or is limited to happening within a certain time period. It is quite possible that you may not even know it is happening until you experience that first smile or other unique cue, and respond appropriately.

Talking, touching, holding, singing, eye contact . . . in tandem wih sub-lingual homeopathic oxytocin invigorator can help support these behaviors.

I have been using a sublingual Oxytocin Accelerator formulation for the past 8 weeks and it's pretty aswsome. I spray it in my boyfriends mouth too. He is all over me. Here is a link to read more if your interested.


Ankesh September 30, 2008 09:58 AM

Re: More Oxytocin Research

Touch primes the brain to release oxytocin. In Zak’s experiment, half the participants received a 15-minute massage and then played an economic game in which they exchanged real money. After being trusted by a stranger with money in the hope that they’d reciprocate, the brains of participants who got a massage released much more oxytocin than those who simply rested alone. Amazingly, those who received massages returned 243 percent more money to the stranger who showed them trust than those who rested.


The article also talks about how good handshakes are better in getting people employed.

Dien Rice June 5, 2009 11:46 PM

Massages, confidence, success, and sex transmutation

Originally Posted by Ankesh (Post 22451)

The article also talks about how good handshakes are better in getting people employed.

Hi Ankesh and everyone,

I just came across an article on the effects of oxytocin and vasopressin (and how it relates to human relationships)... An interesting article! (Though perhaps not directly related to business... You can read it here...)

Anyway, this made me remember this thread that Ankesh started...

In the first post of this thread, Ankesh had linked to an article which said that oxytocin can boost confidence (article here)...

We all know that confidence can help with success! If you have no confidence... you often do nothing. And doing nothing means that you won't improve your situation. You have to do something, for things to change for the better...

Then, Ankesh and I posted the info that massages could be helpful in raising oxytocin levels...

I wonder. Could getting regular massages help improve your success (by boosting your oxytocin levels, and hence your confidence)? It would be fun finding out! :)

Oxytocin seems to rise in your body from relationship-related behavior (from things like touching, cuddling, and even sex). Napoleon Hill, in "Think and Grow Rich", claimed that "sex transmutation" helped with worldly success. I wonder if oxytocin could be one key to the mystery of Napoleon Hill's claims about "sex transmutation" leading to success?

Hmm... :)



Dien Rice November 8, 2011 05:16 PM

TED talk on Oxytocin

Originally Posted by Ankesh (Post 21532)
Anyone aware of oxytocin and how to increase oxytocin levels in your body?

I just watched this very fascinating "TED" talk on oxytocin...

Then I remembered Ankesh's great post from the past, and thought I'd add a link to the talk here...

You can watch the talk here...

Paul Zak: Trust, morality - and oxytocin

Some of the ways you can increase your oxytocin levels which Paul Zak mentions (based on his research) are... someone showing you that they trust you, hugging and being hugged, having sex, getting a massage, being at your own wedding (or also being at your son or daughter's wedding), or looking at the Facebook page of someone you love... :)

There is apparently a connection between oxytocin and moral behavior, and possibly between oxytocin production, and "reciprocity"... (i.e. the "moral compulsion" you feel to "give something back" when someone gives something of value to you...)

Also, while you apparently cannot "eat" oxytocin, you can absorb oxytocin molecules through inhalation (that is, by breathing it in)... I have no idea of any legal or moral dilemmas regarding that, but that's also been part of Paul Zak's research...

Best wishes!


Phil November 8, 2011 11:54 PM

Re: TED talk on Oxytocin... Gallery: Inside Our Brains ...
Hi Dien,

Great info from ''TED'' and Company once again... Thanks! ...

The New Science Behind Your Spending Addiction and The Science of Applying this into Making $$$$ Money...

New Science unveils how your Brain is Hard-wired when it comes to Spending—and How you can reboot it...

Or Not... If you Might be interesting in Applying this into Making $$$$ Money... :)


Richard Dennis November 9, 2011 01:42 PM

How I Went From 0% Confidence to 100% Confidence ... Before I Ever Achieved Success
Look. I've failed a gazillion times in my life, and I've also had a few successes. But I never had any success until I got self-confidence ... which came way, way, WAY after adolescence. Maybe my story will help someone here.

It's the ultimate Catch-22, isn't it, especially for an analytical, introverted personality? To have confidence, you must KNOW you will be successful. But to be successful, you MUST be confident. If you're filled with self-doubt, then just the tone of your voice sabotages you whenever you talk to someone. For most of my life, it seemed there was no way to get to "confident" from where I was.

I was in my early 40s and had been driving a bus on Miami Beach for a dozen years. My son had been diagnosed with a terminal illness, and I was desperate to have time to spend with him and the money to take him to see places that he only had a limited time to see. I failed at more businesses than I could count. I couldn't sell a lick. I didn't believe in myself at all, and I didn't believe my future would be any better than my past. I was a friggin' mess.

But then, within a few months' time, I developed complete confidence ... and success followed shortly. And my confidence has never wavered since, even through other failures.

What changed?

Well ... one day I was swapping stories with another bus driver. And as I told him the gory details of my latest failure, it all began to seem kind of funny. You know, the IRONY ... all I wanted was success, and all I got was failure. By the end of the story, we were both laughing at what a klutz I was.

But an idea started to form. I realized that this one failure was a pretty darned good story, and I could tell it really well, since I had lived it. I could polish it a little (make myself look even dumber), and it might get more laughs and would probably connect with other people, too.

I soon found that to be true. And a plan started to form ... maybe I could build relationships with people by making them laugh about MY failures. That would be terrific, because I had 80 tons of failures to choose from.

So ... I wrote down a few other failures. Then I got really serious ... I created a timeline of my life, listing all the people, events, places, schools, jobs, loves, coaches, teachers, sports teams, etc., that I could remember. Then I organized them by year.

(As I said, I'm ANALytical.)

Over time, I developed dozens and dozens of failure stories ... and (surprisingly to me), a few success stories back there, too.

And here was the key: I had 100% confidence when I told someone one of my stories, because I had lived the event. I had total belief that I was a klutz who could botch any opportunity. No self-doubt whatsoever. The sound of my voice had changed, and people actually loved to hear my stories.

For me, when that "confidence" spigot turned on, my life changed forever. And what tickled me no end, of course, was that I had used my failure stories to achieve confidence.

ANYONE can do the same thing ... unless you've never had any failure in your life. It's a great emotional outlet for people to laugh about YOUR ridiculous, ironic failures ... so they can say to themselves, "God! That's guy's even worse than I am" And the more you make people laugh, the more confident you will become.

Good grief, life is weird.

Richard Dennis

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