SOWPub Small Business Forums

SOWPub Small Business Forums (http://www.sowpub.com/forum/index.php)
-   Original SOWPub Forum Archive (http://www.sowpub.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=3)
-   -   Why do people have a fear of success? (http://www.sowpub.com/forum/showthread.php?t=158)

Jason van Hooft August 23, 2000 09:08 AM

Why do people have a fear of success?
 
Dean in one of your posts about Goofy you mention that you have had a "fear of failure in business".

I do a lot of training and speaking at seminars on motivation and success both business and personal, and something I always hear other speakers talk about is people FEAR OF SUCCESS.

A FEAR THAT SOMETHING ACTUALLY MIGHT WORK.

I have argued or should I say debated with some very high profile trainers on this subject and I truly think people can have a FEAR OF FAILING and that the FEAR OF SUCCESS is really a mask for fear of failing.

But rather than state my opinion I am very interested to hear your thoughts on this subject? Is there a difference between the two?

Is there really such a thing as FEAR of SUCCESS or are all these fears really masking a fear of failing, not meeting the grade, loosing to the opposition and so on ...

I look forward to your responses..
Jason van Hooft


Don't click here.

Taylor Trump August 23, 2000 09:44 AM

Re: Why do people have a fear of success?
 
It has been said by some very astute copywriters and business owners that people will do just about everything and anything to NOT look foolish, stupid, ignorant or incompetent.

You can see this in sales/marketing too.

For instance, there is the dilemma people suffer right after a purchase.

Right away, they ask themselves, did I make a mistake. This is why marketers use "stick" letters, etc.

Post purchase anxieties.

Also, I know that in trading commodities that it becomes very obvious as to whther or not some one is suffering from this same fear.

So, it seems as if this is a learned condition for the most of us. We learn to fear failing in school but we never really are taught that failure has so many benefits.

Taylor

> Dean in one of your posts about Goofy you
> mention that you have had a "fear of
> failure in business".

> I do a lot of training and speaking at
> seminars on motivation and success both
> business and personal, and something I
> always hear other speakers talk about is
> people FEAR OF SUCCESS.

> A FEAR THAT SOMETHING ACTUALLY MIGHT WORK.

> I have argued or should I say debated with
> some very high profile trainers on this
> subject and I truly think people can have a
> FEAR OF FAILING and that the FEAR OF SUCCESS
> is really a mask for fear of failing.

> But rather than state my opinion I am very
> interested to hear your thoughts on this
> subject? Is there a difference between the
> two?

> Is there really such a thing as FEAR of
> SUCCESS or are all these fears really
> masking a fear of failing, not meeting the
> grade, loosing to the opposition and so on
> ...

> I look forward to your responses..
> Jason van Hooft




Build Your Newsletter Subscriber Base NOW!

Dien Rice August 23, 2000 11:19 AM

Fear of Failure and Reaching for the STARS....
 
Hi Jason and Taylor....

Firstly, Jason, I loved your link.... Anything that says "Don't Click Here" is just WAITING to be clicked on... I couldn't help myself! :)

I can only talk about myself here really.... I don't think I have any "fear of success" to be honest, but I do have "fear of failure"....

I don't know if I can generalize this to everybody, though.... (I'm sure others here would know about this than me...)

I also think "fear of failure" is sometimes quite justified....

I think it probably comes down to -- what is the consequence of failing?

For example, if I was Evel Knievel (remember him?) jumping across 13 double-decker buses on my motor-bike, a fear of failure could be quite justified! FAILURE could mean a lot of pain and a long stay in hospital, if I was LUCKY....

BUT if the consequences of failure ain't THAT bad, and the potential rewards are great, then the fear of failure is not really justified.... And you usually have to take a few risks to make your DREAMS come true....

By the way, I think it's good to have SUPPORTIVE people around you....

I hope WE can make this forum such a place! :)

It's easy for people to say "you can't do that.... you'll never make it.... you'll never succeed...."

But what I admire are those who take a chance, who GO for their dreams!

I must admit, when I have future plans, I am a bit selective about who I tell about them.... I only tell people who I know are positive thinkers, who are supportive people.... I don't tell the "cynics"....

A newborn idea or plan, like a newborn baby, is a fragile thing.... it needs nurture and care if it is going to grow, not immediate attacks....

I hope this forum (and the whole site) can become a place where WE can all help each other with our DREAMS....

I'm a dreamer at heart, but I strive hard to make my dreams a reality, and I like to support anyone else who has a DREAM too....

Why settle for the mundane when you can reach for the STARS? :)

It doesn't have to be a new business. It could be a new relationship, a new lifestyle, a new way of helping others -- heck your dream could even be to do theoretical physics.... ;)

Thank you for sharing your thoughts... :)

Dien

Dien Rice August 23, 2000 11:45 AM

Re: Fear of Failure and Reaching for the STARS....
 
> I must admit, when I have future plans, I am
> a bit selective about who I tell about
> them.... I only tell people who I know are
> positive thinkers, who are supportive
> people.... I don't tell the
> "cynics"....

> A newborn idea or plan, like a newborn baby,
> is a fragile thing.... it needs nurture and
> care if it is going to grow, not immediate
> attacks....

I'll add that it is ALWAYS good to get the advice of people with EXPERIENCE in what you want to do.... Good honest experienced advice can be more valuable than money....

By "cynics" I was referring to those people who generally have never tried anything like what you want to do, but feel they know WHY it won't work anyway....

These are the same type of people who said "no machine will never fly," "people will never land on the moon," and "this internet-thing is just a crazy fad"! :)

Talk to supportive people and experienced people about your plans and ideas.... at least that's what I do.... :)

Cheers,

Dien

Bob Beckman August 23, 2000 12:26 PM

Re: Why do people have a fear of success?
 
Jason -

In my experience genuine fear of success stems from a fear of leaving a comfort zone, whether financial, social or emotional.

When I was in the Navy, I knew individuals who refused to take advancement tests because they did not want to be promotable. They were comfortable performing at a mediocre level, and they did not want to leave their peer group. They didn't necessarily enjoy their jobs, however, but felt they "belonged" at their level.

As a business consultant, I've encountered owners who would not take the necessary steps to grow their business because they weren't comfortable with the image of being more than a sole proprietor or mom & pop operation. They wanted the increased money, but not the image.

Many people refuse to get out of emotional ruts such as abusive families, debt, etc. even when shown a clear path out, because they don't know what to do without their pathology. They're comfortable with the situation they know.

These could also be examples of fear of failure disguised, but all are certainly puzzling to me when I encounter them.

Take care, Bob

Mike Rodman August 23, 2000 12:28 PM

May I interrupt???
 
Jason ~

I too have spoken to groups of salespeople within our company in the past. At one time in my career I was considering engagement speaking. Enough so to join Toastmasters International and eventually Charter my own group.

The hours spent attending dozens of Seminars, company sponsored as well as on my own, have been enormous. Even Nightingale/Conant had me on speed dialer I think too! There are audio cassette packages which are almost worn completely out!

Tony Robbins, Ziz Ziglar, Michael Gerber, Brian Tracy books to name a few...

I realize my opinion wasn't asked for, but this is a topic which absolutley incites me!

It is my belief the "Fear of Failure or Success" is one of the biggest excuses going. Then to top it off... Dang near every Motivational/Inspirational Speaker re-affirms it in the peoples minds by giving it a name and justifying it!

"Yes. Bob has Fear of FAILURE!!!

What malarkey!What Bob has is a lazy butt and he's not willing to do what it takes to get somewhere else. I say lose Bob!!! Hire another!!!

Not everybody is cut out to be in sales... And if they do not have the Desire to succeed, they never will. They may have the want to succeed... But we all now how much "wants" will get you.

Once I spoke in our town on this very same topic to a group of business people in our Chamber of Commerce. It was a riveting talk! Full of emotion, hand movements, facial expressions and voice inflection.

The question was asked from the group, "How do you combat the Fear of Failure???" This just allowed me to climb atop my soapbox!!! ;-)

This happens in sports and life, all the time. If you cannot finish a Marathon run... Does it mean you have a Fear of Failure??? If you cannot hit 60 homers a year like McGuire and Sosa... Does it mean you have a Fear of Success??? If you cannot qualify for a promotion... Which is it??? Fear of Success or Failure???

And if you cannot pick up the phone... Set an appointment... Close a sale... Take a check or cash on the spot... Fear of Failure or Success???

In sports... Some just cannot physically do what it takes, at that time! We need to go back and train harder for the event. And only those with a 'Core Desire' to meet those challenges... Will succeed with more intensive training. Others will never meet those challenges regardless of how hard they train. They simply, physically cannot accomplish those feats.

Same in the Mental Game of Life. Some are just not capable of mentally attaining the heights of success, like those of others around them. Still, many can achieve a high level of success with the proper training.

So to encapsulate this... Fear of Failure/Success just allows others to put a name on it, and feel better about themselves, for not achieving a goal. It's a Politically Correct way of saying it's okay to be an underachiever!

Either you get out and pay the price to achieve the level of success you want... Or you pay the price for not achieving it. Either way... A price is paid! We all know it to be true!

Some individuals are natural Leaders. Some work hard to be a Leader. Than there are those who are going to be followers. Nothing wrong with being a follower. Many of my friends and associates are!

Some individuals will create their own companies and employ hundreds of people. Still others will always work for wages. Again... Nothing wrong with that. But do we tell the wage earner they have a Fear Of Success??? NO!!!

But we tell someone who wants to be successful, but isn't... They have a Fear of Failure/Success! The simple fact is some will rise to higher levels while others simply cannot or will not.

I'd concede to you Jason I'm splitting hairs on this topic... But it just irritates me when I hear someone say, "Bob has a "Fear of Failure."

What Bob has is no desire to do what it takes!

What if someone were to take Gordon's 'Chattel Report - 12 Week Sprint to Freedom'. And never began to sprint??? Never even tried to go out and make a deal to buy something at a garage sale. Fear of Failure or Success???

Gordon made a post the other day about selling meat door-to-door! Just to see "if he still had what it takes" I'm curious... How many people are hiding behind electronic web sites because they don't want to meet people??? If you and I both told "Bob" in order to be successful he had to go sell frozen meat door-to-door. Think he would???

If he couldn't??? Fear of Failure or Success??? I'd say he's just too scared to knock on the door! He hasn't even reached Failure or Success yet!!! Cripes!!! He's scared to talk to someone!!!

And if he could talk to them but couldn't sell... I'd say he needs more sales training! But it isn't a "Fear of Anything" Jason!

You either Do or you Don't!

For too many years the Sales Industry has leaned on this crutch... Kick it out from under them I say, and either they begin to walk and run with the pack... Or fall behind, and get picked off with the old, lame and other cripples from the herd.

Fear of Failure... Sheesh!!!

Excuse me.... I need to go wash this Fear of Failure stench off... :-)

~ Mike

Mike Rodman August 23, 2000 12:33 PM

Re: Fear of Failure and Reaching for the STARS....
 
> For example, if I was Evel Knievel (remember
> him?) jumping across 13 double-decker buses
> on my motor-bike, a fear of failure could be
> quite justified! FAILURE could mean a lot of
> pain and a long stay in hospital, if I was
> LUCKY....

Dien... This isn't Fear of Failure. It's Fear of Pain! If he was afraid of failure he wouldn't jump at all. But he doesn't fear failure and he doesn't fear pain.

~ Mike

P.S. I see I should have lkept my initial thoughts to myself!!! Before I made my post to Jason there weren't any other replies! I seem to be in the minority once again! LOL

Leo August 23, 2000 01:04 PM

Success Anorexia...
 
Hello:

A young fellow from Central Massachusetts has written a book on this very subject and it was published by the same company that publishes the Chicken Soup Series.

You can get more details about Noah St. John and his discovery at www.successclinic.com

Best wishes,

Leo




http://www.successclinic.com

Bob Beckman August 23, 2000 01:19 PM

Re: Fear of Failure and Reaching for the STARS....
 
Mike -

Actually, your initial reply was right on - a bit blunt, but well put:-)

During my plebe year at the Naval Academy, we had four allowed answers to any order: Yes Sir, No Sir, NO EXCUSE, SIR, and I'll find out Sir.

What that meant was do it or don't do it, but don't give excuses for your actions or lack thereof. Legitimate REASONS spoke for themselves, excuses were just a delaying tactic!

In the business world, if people would take action, do their best, ask for help, try again and quit making excuses, a lot more would get done and a lot of useless emotion avoided.

Re my other response above, upon rethinking the examples, I guess the people were actually happy to stay where they were, or wouldn't exert the energy to change. Still puzzling, but a reality.

Thanks for the plain talk!!

Bob (not the Bob in your example:-))

Mike Rodman August 23, 2000 01:51 PM

Most definitely NOT the ''Bob'' in my examples!!!! :-) Sorry!!! LOL (DNO)
 
'> Mike -

> Actually, your initial reply was right on -
> a bit blunt, but well put:-)

> During my plebe year at the Naval Academy,
> we had four allowed answers to any order:
> Yes Sir, No Sir, NO EXCUSE, SIR, and I'll
> find out Sir.

> What that meant was do it or don't do it,
> but don't give excuses for your actions or
> lack thereof. Legitimate REASONS spoke for
> themselves, excuses were just a delaying
> tactic!

> In the business world, if people would take
> action, do their best, ask for help, try
> again and quit making excuses, a lot more
> would get done and a lot of useless emotion
> avoided.

> Re my other response above, upon rethinking
> the examples, I guess the people were
> actually happy to stay where they were, or
> wouldn't exert the energy to change. Still
> puzzling, but a reality.

> Thanks for the plain talk!!

> Bob (not the Bob in your example:-))


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:48 AM.

Powered by vBulletin Version 3.6.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.