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-   -   This technique is powerful for "opening doors"... (http://www.sowpub.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11336)

Dien Rice October 7, 2022 02:43 PM

This technique is powerful for "opening doors"...
 
When I was a young man, I learned a neat approach that has served me well...

I got it from the book "Intimate Connections" by psychiatrist David D. Burns... A self-help book on dating and attracting the opposite sex (in an ethical way)...

("Intimate Connections" was his second book. He's better known for his first book, "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" - which is about using cognitive therapy to help with depression...)

Anyhow, the main tip I remember from "Intimate Connections" was being able to find something you can genuinely compliment about someone...

Or... the power of honest flattery...

And I found that - if you look hard enough - there's always something you can genuinely compliment...

It could be how neat they dress. It could be their sense of humor. It could be their intelligence. It could be their creativity. It could be their tenacity. It could be their kind-heartedness. It could be their honesty. It could be their confidence. It could be their modesty. It could be their artistic ability. It could be their passion...

It could be something very specific. Like a choice of tie... Or the color coordination of their outfit... (Just be cautious, nowadays, if you are complimenting the opposite sex, not to encroach into areas that might be considered too "intimate"...)

There's always something... and it has to be genuine...

Firstly, if you do this, is it flattery?

Perhaps - but... if it's true, it's true!

People love receiving genuine compliments...

The other thing is - I'm personally a very bad liar. So if I tried to "fake compliment" - for me it wouldn't work. We'd both know what I was saying was fake!

Why is a genuine compliment so powerful?

It opens doors... Not only in your love life (as David D. Burns was writing about), but in life and business too...

There's today's tip-of-the-day... Something that has served me well in life... :)

Start practicing. The next person you meet, try to find something about them you can honestly compliment (without making them feel uncomfortable)...

That's how I started. When you keep doing it on a regular basis, it starts to become second nature... :)

Best wishes,

Dien

Millard Grubb October 9, 2022 03:43 PM

Re: This technique is powerful for "opening doors"...
 
Thanks!

This reminds me of something I learned while taking the Dale Carnegie course years ago... People love talking about themselves.

Finding something good about someone and saying something makes the day for most people. More importantly, when talking with someone and they mention something that they are interested in, encourage the person to talk more about it. You'll find that the person you are talking with will light up and speak for several minutes. Additionally, the person you are talking with will think you are a great conversationalist !

Letting people know you care about them goes a long way in making things go smoothly. You will also make friends and create business.

Dien Rice October 10, 2022 03:55 PM

Thanks for sharing that, Millard... I agree!
 
Hi Millard,

Thanks for sharing that!

I happened to read Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" when I was in high school... and immediately tried it out!

It's true... His method often works to "open doors!"

The only times I've found it difficult to use is on the rare occasion when I can't find anything in common with someone... (As it's a lot easier to ask them questions about their interests when you know at least something about the topic!)

But yeah... Dale Carnegie's approach gets a big endorsement from me...

Thanks for sharing that, Millard! :)

Best wishes,

Dien

Quote:

Originally Posted by Millard Grubb (Post 43305)
Thanks!

This reminds me of something I learned while taking the Dale Carnegie course years ago... People love talking about themselves.

Finding something good about someone and saying something makes the day for most people. More importantly, when talking with someone and they mention something that they are interested in, encourage the person to talk more about it. You'll find that the person you are talking with will light up and speak for several minutes. Additionally, the person you are talking with will think you are a great conversationalist !

Letting people know you care about them goes a long way in making things go smoothly. You will also make friends and create business.



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