Letter Crititque For Deck Restoration Business
 

Hi All,

I have put together a letter that I plan on sending out to a vary targeted list, for starting a deck restoration
business, and would like some honest feedback on it.

I drove around my town and spoted decks that I think
are in need of restoration.

Then I took there house number and street address down.

What I did then was went to www.smartpages.com and did
a reverse address lookup.

I then have a software program called smartboard
running, which is a add-on to windows clipboard, that
enables me to capture multible items & create a database.

I then have the letter in word running in the background
and switch over to word, I then address it to there sir name

When I drove by I put down the price I figure I can do it for. I then put in a bid and mail it.

Before I started I did a lot of research on the best stains
and came across this month's consumer reports magazine that
ran a article on the best stains & paints for doing this and
attached the article about the stains.

I so far have sent out about 25 letters and no calls.

Here is the letter

May 21, 2002

Dear Mr. Jacoby:

My name is Gary Creed, I am a painter here in Madison, WI and for the last two years, I have been running a specialty
Painting business, painting Wrought iron railings & fences. The other day one of my customers asked me to stain her
deck, which I did, she was quite Satisfied with my work. & I liked doing it.

Here name is Ms. Jones 4219 McKenna Rd Monona, WI 53716 Tel 608-222-1894

So I thought of how many other Decks-Steps-Fences etc. also needed this, and starting doing some research on the Internet.

What I found was, that most people use Thompson's , which is one of the worst products to use. IT DOES NOT LAST.

My research brought me to this month's Consumer Reports Magazine Pg. 47 Tilted Deck Treatments, House Paints.

What I discovered was that Cabot's Solid Color Oil Deck Stain lasted the longest, Followed by the transparent stains.
The clear sealers lasted the least length of time, they had to be redone every 6-12 Months.

Here's a post from an online forum at www.deckmaster.com that I ran across from someone who used Cabot's

Cabot stains last forever. I stained my deck (Chicago suburbs, -20 degree winters, 100 degree summers) 5 years ago
And it has not even slightly faded. This product will probably last 15 years with no problem whatsoever.

What he used was the Cabot' Semi-Transparent Deck Stain.

I have already taken the liberty to look over yours and can do yours for $350.00. This includes thoroughly Cleaning the

Deck Or Wood With Cabot's Deck Cleaner and applying there stain.

If you would like to stop re-doing yours over and over again. Please Call 255-6691 If I am not in, please leave your
Name and number & I will return your call when I get in.

Sincerely,

Gary Creed

P.S. Every Customer Who Schedules There's To Be Done Before The Start Of The Memorial Day Weekend, Will Receive

1 FREE Bag Of Charcoal Briquettes.

Re: Letter Crititque For Deck Restoration Business
 

The only thing I picked up was a minor spelling issue:
In a couple of spots in your letter, you use the word "there", when you should be using "their". Use "their" to show ownership. For example: "Cabot's works the best, I only use THEIR stain." and "Every customer who schedules THEIR deck to be done."

> Hi All,

> I have put together a letter that I plan on
> sending out to a vary targeted list, for
> starting a deck restoration
> business, and would like some honest
> feedback on it.

> I drove around my town and spoted decks that
> I think
> are in need of restoration.

> Then I took there house number and street
> address down.

> What I did then was went to
> www.smartpages.com and did
> a reverse address lookup.

> I then have a software program called
> smartboard
> running, which is a add-on to windows
> clipboard, that
> enables me to capture multible items &
> create a database.

> I then have the letter in word running in
> the background
> and switch over to word, I then address it
> to there sir name

> When I drove by I put down the price I
> figure I can do it for. I then put in a bid
> and mail it.

> Before I started I did a lot of research on
> the best stains
> and came across this month's consumer
> reports magazine that
> ran a article on the best stains &
> paints for doing this and
> attached the article about the stains.

> I so far have sent out about 25 letters and
> no calls.

> Here is the letter

> May 21, 2002

> Dear Mr. Jacoby:

> My name is Gary Creed, I am a painter here
> in Madison, WI and for the last two years, I
> have been running a specialty
> Painting business, painting Wrought iron
> railings & fences. The other day one of
> my customers asked me to stain her
> deck, which I did, she was quite Satisfied
> with my work. & I liked doing it.

> Here name is Ms. Jones 4219 McKenna Rd
> Monona, WI 53716 Tel 608-222-1894

> So I thought of how many other
> Decks-Steps-Fences etc. also needed this,
> and starting doing some research on the
> Internet.

> What I found was, that most people use
> Thompson's , which is one of the worst
> products to use. IT DOES NOT LAST.

> My research brought me to this month's
> Consumer Reports Magazine Pg. 47 Tilted Deck
> Treatments, House Paints.

> What I discovered was that Cabot's Solid
> Color Oil Deck Stain lasted the longest,
> Followed by the transparent stains.
> The clear sealers lasted the least length of
> time, they had to be redone every 6-12
> Months.

> Here's a post from an online forum at
> www.deckmaster.com that I ran across from
> someone who used Cabot's

> Cabot stains last forever. I stained my deck
> (Chicago suburbs, -20 degree winters, 100
> degree summers) 5 years ago
> And it has not even slightly faded. This
> product will probably last 15 years with no
> problem whatsoever.

> What he used was the Cabot' Semi-Transparent
> Deck Stain.

> I have already taken the liberty to look
> over yours and can do yours for $350.00.
> This includes thoroughly Cleaning the

> Deck Or Wood With Cabot's Deck Cleaner and
> applying there stain.

> If you would like to stop re-doing yours
> over and over again. Please Call 255-6691 If
> I am not in, please leave your
> Name and number & I will return your
> call when I get in.

> Sincerely,

> Gary Creed

> P.S. Every Customer Who Schedules There's To
> Be Done Before The Start Of The Memorial Day
> Weekend, Will Receive

> 1 FREE Bag Of Charcoal Briquettes.

If you want to increase your deck renewal business, read this message.
 

Gary:

The headline above is a modified version of something I recall Jim Straw said he ran. I think Jim's ad went something like this: If you want the Akron-Beacon Journal every morning, call Jim Straw on 555-5555.

Notice it is short, to the point and only people who are interested will call.

Why not try something like that?

If you want to get your deck restained, call Gary Creed on 555-5555.

And when they call, go and see them to give a quote. No phone quotes because if they won't have you come over to see the deck to get a quote, there is very little chance of them ever becoming your customer.

As for your letter...

Many instances of "There" when it should have been "Their."

At time you use "&" instead of "and". You even started a sentence with "&."

Telling them you have already looked over their deck might scare them. They'd be thinking you crept around their yard - and when - to see their deck.

As for the Thompson's product... Why isn't it any good? "Thompson's is not too good because it does not contain any UV protection and fades fast" gives a reason.

Charcoal Briquettes? What if they don't have a BBQ? What if they do have a BBQ and hardly use it? What if they do have a BBQ and plenty of briquettes already? Whichever the case, the briquettes offer won't mean anything to them.

Give briquettes when selling a BBQ or even a BBQ cleaning service, not a deck restaining service.

What can you give them? Don't give them anything. If they want to get their deck restained they will get it restained. A "bribe" is not likely to push them over the edge of indecision.

If you feel you have to offer them something... offer some kind of guarantee.

Hope this helps.

Michael Ross.




Have you?

Re: Letter Crititque For Deck Restoration Business
 

Hi Gary....

Here are a couple of suggestions. You won't know if they'll work better or not, though, without testing....

First, I noticed you're trying to sell them from your letter. I think you may be trying to do too much.... I would try to use your letter (or a newspaper ad) to try to generate inquiries.

For example, you could ask them to call you for a free quote, and say you also offer a GREAT free bonus, and to call to find out what it is.... That is, DON'T tell them everything, try to tease their curiosity so they'll (hopefully) be more likely to call. Then, when you give them your free quote (in person), that's when you try to sell them on it, and offer them the free briquettes as an incentive....

By the way, I think you can "sweeten" your offer too this way. Instead of charging $350, consider making the price $450, but give them a $100 discount if they order by a certain date. Give them a reason for why you're giving a discount. I think this sounds like it's a stronger offer (though to you it's the same)....

Also, you only sent 25 letters. It is common for responses to direct mail to be 1% or even less.... Keep that in mind.

Here are a few more ideas on how to find people with decks....

Go to your local rotary club (or other similar club) and try to organize to give a free seminar on how to restore your deck. When you give your talk, tell them how they can restore their decks, and at the end also mention that YOU will do their decks for them if they don't want to go through all the hassle.... SOME people who would like to get their decks restored, but wouldn't want to do it themselves, will probably jump at the chance to get you to restore their deck. So, you'll probably get some jobs to do from giving your free seminar.... (I'm not experienced in doing this, but I've adapted this idea from an idea I've read about elsewhere....)

Another way, which I haven't seen mentioned yet, is to offer a free booklet on something deck-related, through a classified ad. The idea is to try to get deck-owners to send for your free booklet. If someone sends for it, then you know they own a deck! Of course, send your material advertising your deck renewal business along with your booklet.... You might be able to find a good government booklet you can adapt from here.... http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov/ . (Most publications on that web site are copyright-free, unless indicated otherwise....)

- Dien

critique!
 

After the party will your deck be the
talk of the town...

Hmmm...wonder what they'll say...

Call me to schedule a free 1/2 hour consulation
on the state of your deck and what you can
do to clean it...

(of course after your consulation they might
just hire you to do the job)...

Why me for the consultation?

I'll give you the name of one of your
neighbors and they'll tell you how satisfied
they were with my work:

Right now...pick up the phone and call:

Here name is Ms. Jones 4219 McKenna Rd
> Monona, WI 53716 Tel 608-222-1894

Ask her about Gary Creed's work in staining
her deck..

...
Another thing: There is one thing you
musn't use in deck renewal; I'm willing
to share this with you in the free consultation..
what do you have to loose? no pressure...if
you're not convinced I'm the man for the job
then you'll at least have the secret to doing
your own deck...

I have the secret product and elbow grease
so you can STOP REDOING those decks over
and over and start entertaining...

And guaranteed your deck will be the best
deck in town...

If you book a deck cleaning before Memorial
Day you'll get 50.00 off the normal price:
.....So what do you have to loose?

Call soon, this offer is limited to the
first 10 inquiries....

It is stinko! That's why.....
 

...you could send out 100,000 of "your letter" and get zilch response!

You could modify "your letter" and correct spelling or whatever...send out 100,000 of "these" every month and still get NADA!

WHY?

Because there are so many things wrong with it it doesn't stand a chance to even get looked at, let alone read!

There's only 2 ways "you" will do anything "trying to sell something";
1) Spend HOURS....days...weeks....months...years...learning HOW to "sell and market" a product or service
2) Hire someone who has already done it!

Your "letter" is the reason why people PAY someone for their knowledge!...to SAVE THE TIME and AGGRAVATION!

I now get 8 to 12 jobs a week with a POSTCARD with TWO SENTENCES on it!

Call 800-289-6224 if you are "serious" about "making some GOOD money" in the Deck Renewal biz.

Don Alm

Thanks For All The Great Feedback (DNO) (DNO)
 

How Much For Your Course ?
 

Ok Ok it's stinko don ?

It's the first letter, thats why I posted it
here to get some feedback from some pros.

I will go back and rewrite it again or use
a post card, with the idea of first getting
leads and then closeing.

Gary,

> ...you could send out 100,000 of "your
> letter" and get zilch response!

> You could modify "your letter" and
> correct spelling or whatever...send out
> 100,000 of "these" every month and
> still get NADA!

> WHY?

> Because there are so many things wrong with
> it it doesn't stand a chance to even get
> looked at, let alone read!

> There's only 2 ways "you" will do
> anything "trying to sell
> something";
> 1) Spend
> HOURS....days...weeks....months...years...learning
> HOW to "sell and market" a product
> or service
> 2) Hire someone who has already done it!

> Your "letter" is the reason why
> people PAY someone for their knowledge!...to
> SAVE THE TIME and AGGRAVATION!

> I now get 8 to 12 jobs a week with a
> POSTCARD with TWO SENTENCES on it!

> Call 800-289-6224 if you are
> "serious" about "making some
> GOOD money" in the Deck Renewal biz.

> Don Alm

See response in my forum where you cross posted
 

xxx

My opinion
 

Gary,

My suggestion would be to shorten the letter. I would get right to the point. Get them interested in calling you by having a line in there about why Thompson's water seal is not a good product. Or something along that line.

Good Luck,
Tim