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-   -   G... A quick comment... (http://www.sowpub.com/forum/showthread.php?t=303)

Mike Rodman September 22, 2000 01:12 AM

G... A quick comment...
 
G ~

The testimonials are imperative as you know.

But where is your Headline??? Are you using the photo with the supers as a headline??? If you are, it is very busy. Lots of color and details in the photo. and then reverse text on top of it??? Hard to read and doesn't grab the attention you're seeking.

I like the "I dropped 10 strokes the first time I played after listening to THINK AND REACH PAR!" as a headline.

Remove the supers from your photo... Enlarge the photo and run the headline above underneath it.

A sub heading of Do You Have A Golfer On Your Holiday Gift List? could be applicable for the Holiday Season as a lead in. Lose the Upper Case though.

Actually... Is the photo even a requirement??? Is it an actual photo of your product??? If not... Why not use a photo of the product itself???

An attention grabbing headline is definitely needed more so than the photo shown.

Some of your one liner paragraphs would make great lead-ins or sub-headings for further copy. Then the "Skimmers" would get what they're looking for and the "Detailers" could read a bit more.



~ Mike


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