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-   -   No grasshoppers allowed! (http://www.sowpub.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3353)

John David Bradshaw February 18, 2003 03:56 AM

No grasshoppers allowed!
 
I received this by email...author unknown.

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

CLASSIC VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all
summer long, building his house and laying up
supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs
and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter
so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all
summer long, building his house and laying up
supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs
and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a
press conference and demands to know why the ant
should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures
of the shivering grasshopper next to a video
of the ant in his comfortable home with a table
filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth,
this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper,
and everybody cries when they sing "It's Not
Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front
of the ant's house where the news stations film
the group singing "We shall overcome." Jesse then
has the group kneel down to pray to God for the
grasshopper's sake.

Al Gore exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings
that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the
grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike
on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity
and Anti-Grasshopper Act", retroactive to the
beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
failing to hire a proportionate number of green
bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive
taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the
grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant,
and the case is tried before a panel of federal
judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-
parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing
up the last bits of the ant's food while the
government house he is in, which just happens to
be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because
he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related
incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken
over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the
once peaceful neighborhood.

Do I have a witness? Can I hear an amen from
somebody?




No grasshoppers allowed in our neck of the woods...

Elizabeth Morrow February 18, 2003 02:15 PM

Too funny!!! And a wee bit scary........... (dno) (DNO)
 

Rooster February 18, 2003 05:59 PM

Amen!....
 
The sad thing is that it's the truth!....Rooster

I received this by email...author unknown.

> THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

> CLASSIC VERSION:

> The ant works hard in the withering heat all
> summer long, building his house and laying
> up
> supplies for the winter.

> The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and
> laughs
> and dances and plays the summer away.

> Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

> The grasshopper has no food or shelter
> so he dies out in the cold.

> MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for
> yourself!

> MODERN VERSION:

> The ant works hard in the withering heat all
> summer long, building his house and laying
> up
> supplies for the winter.

> The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and
> laughs
> and dances and plays the summer away.

> Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls
> a
> press conference and demands to know why the
> ant
> should be allowed to be warm and well fed
> while
> others are cold and starving.

> CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide
> pictures
> of the shivering grasshopper next to a video
> of the ant in his comfortable home with a
> table
> filled with food.

> America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

> How can this be, that in a country of such
> wealth,
> this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer
> so?

> Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the
> grasshopper,
> and everybody cries when they sing
> "It's Not
> Easy Being Green."

> Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in
> front
> of the ant's house where the news stations
> film
> the group singing "We shall
> overcome." Jesse then
> has the group kneel down to pray to God for
> the
> grasshopper's sake.

> Al Gore exclaims in an interview with Peter
> Jennings
> that the ant has gotten rich off the back of
> the
> grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax
> hike
> on the ant to make him pay his "fair
> share."

> Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic
> Equity
> and Anti-Grasshopper Act", retroactive
> to the
> beginning of the summer. The ant is fined
> for
> failing to hire a proportionate number of
> green
> bugs and, having nothing left to pay his
> retroactive
> taxes, his home is confiscated by the
> government.

> Hillary gets her old law firm to represent
> the
> grasshopper in a defamation suit against the
> ant,
> and the case is tried before a panel of
> federal
> judges that Bill appointed from a list of
> single-
> parent welfare recipients.

> The ant loses the case.

> The story ends as we see the grasshopper
> finishing
> up the last bits of the ant's food while the
> government house he is in, which just
> happens to
> be the ant's old house, crumbles around him
> because
> he doesn't maintain it.

> The ant has disappeared in the snow.

> The grasshopper is found dead in a drug
> related
> incident and the house, now abandoned, is
> taken
> over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the
> once peaceful neighborhood.

> Do I have a witness? Can I hear an amen from
> somebody?

Dennis Bevers February 18, 2003 11:00 PM

If you think that is bad...
 
you don't even want to read the CNN version of

"The Little Red Hen".

I'll see if I can find my copy and post it. Just consider the governments way of doing things and I think you can pretty much fill in the blanks and arrive at the end result.

Dennis Bevers

Jim February 19, 2003 07:22 PM

Re: No grasshoppers allowed!
 
Too many issues in this POST. Firstly nature has not given the ant and the grasshopper the same opportunities. Secondly, a careful study of world history will show you that many 'ants' in their quest for a 'comfortable winter' have indeed oppressed 'grasshoppers'. NOTHING IS IN BLACK AND WHITE - THERE ARE ALWAYS OTHER COLOURS. If everything was fair, there would have been NO World Wars, No Killing of Jews, No Slavery and no AIDS.


"Associate Program Marketing Handbook"


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