SOWPub Small Business Forums - Fear of success?

Hi Kelly

I have a section on my ezine website where my subscribers can ask me (personal development related) questions.

And...last week I answered the same question that you asked!

Now...I don't believe that my views are the 'right' views...they are just my own opinion!

Instead of just directing you to the site...here is the question...and my answer copied from my site...

Q. "How Do I Overcome The Fear Of Being Successful So That I Can Become Successful?"

"I've listened to self help for many years, have started many goal lists and have tried to be successful. Yet I still return to my 'safe' habits that have not helped me one bit, and have in fact hurt me.

I am fed up with my life and am in a form of desperation to improve my life with my wife, my family, my spirituality. I realize my biggest obstacle is FEAR."

Answer:

Fear is one of those things that we ALL have...yet deal with very differently.

Let me put a question to you...

"If you knew that whatever you thought about came true - what would you think about?"

Now...I know that this is one of those BIG questions...and perhaps you might not think that it is very relevant.

But...what if it was TRUE?

We have all heard of the saying - "You Become What You Think About"...but very few people actually take it on board.

What doesn't help is that we are programmed from an early age to look at rich people from a negative perspective. Things like...

- They're lazy.
- Why should they have money when other people are on the streets?
- They're trying to take over the world.
- It's obscene that they spend more on a car than most people earn in a year.

I could go on...and on.

Also...there is YOU to consider. The big 'self-esteem' monster always has an opportunity to trip you up when you think you are doing OK.

- I'm not good enough.
- I could never earn that much money.
- He (or she) is more talented than I am.
- Am I going to get 'caught-out'?

I know...it's something that I have been battling for the last few months myself!

Everyone suffers from it...in fact, we wouldn't be human if we didn't!

The key to stop sabotaging yourself is how you manage both your success 'programming' and your self-esteem issues.

Here are some examples of how you can improve on each...

Success Programming

- Start reaching out to those people whom you admire at work...ask them to lunch, and let them talk about THEM.
- Read autobiographies of famous people you respect. It will probably surprise you that so many successful people were probably once in a worse situation than your own.
- Go back to your favorite self-help material...and write summaries of them in your own words. This way you will be literally absorbing the information on your terms instead of just reading it or listening to it.
- Stop watching the news...and don't spend more than five minutes reading a newspaper. Without realizing it...you consume a staggering amount of negative 'programming' from these sources.

Self-Esteem

- Start believing more in yourself. Analyze your talents. Ask those people that love you to honestly tell you about your strengths and weaknesses.
- Start thinking "So What?". So what if you try and fail...what did you learn from the experience?
- Look at how YOU can apply some of the principles of those successful people your way! For example...what can learn from a colleague you admire...how do they react differently to the same situations as you?
- Learn about affirmations...and look at ways that you can apply them. You don't have to say them out loud (I certainly don't!)...but you can use a subliminal program on your PC to 'flash' them up on your screen.

Obviously...there is more to conquering the fear of being successful than this, but this will give you a good foundation upon which to build a more positive future.

What is Our Success Partnership?