SOWPub Small Business Forums

SOWPub Small Business Forums (http://www.sowpub.com/forum/index.php)
-   Original SOWPub Forum Archive (http://www.sowpub.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=3)
-   -   Can you check my sales letter? (http://www.sowpub.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5088)

Andras Nagy August 25, 2003 03:04 AM

Can you check my sales letter?
 
It is new. I do appreciate a little help as I am a one man circus of webmaster(2 web sites), marketing manager, product manager(2 product line)
copy writer, author, expert and clerk.

P.S. actually it is a two man travel circus as my wife owns 1/2 of everything....


FreeAutoBot.com PC mailer

garth August 25, 2003 12:07 PM

Is This the Greatest Sales Letter Ever Written?
 
Andras,

Some of the greatest sales letters ever written spotlighted a mouth watering benefit in the headline.

I think you have one but..

it is buried in your copy.

Here is an example:

"We have increased our sales 316% after we started sending our emails from our PC not a mail service"

You buried this little gem in your copy almost has an after thought. Perhaps you should think about putting some form of it in your headline.

Here is one solely as an example...

"I Went From Daily Bounced Emails And No Income To 316% Greater Email Profits In 30 Days--Here's How"

I hope this helps. Let me know.




"I Turn My Success On As Easy I Turn On My TV" Success Breakthrough Ecourse

Cornell August 25, 2003 01:34 PM

Re: Can you check my sales letter?
 
Hi:

This has nothing to do with the copy, but with your top.jpg graphic....it was the first thing I spotted.....it is backwards....if you use Paint Shop Pro just open the image and flip it.

While it would seem minor on a site selling other peoples products, or autos, or some such similar comodity....in this incidence subconciously it might say - well if the person overlooked this slight detail, what other slight details may have been overlooked in writing the software.

Cornell

Mike Wirth August 25, 2003 11:33 PM

Re: Can you check my sales letter?
 
Andras,

With all due respect your letter is missing several critical compnents of what
I'd deem an acceptable sales letter:

1) No testimonials
2) No benefit rich bullets
3) NO compelling headline that makes
the reader *stop* dead in their tracks
4) No compelling call to action
5) No psychological motivators

I could go on. If you work on these,
your letter would be greatly improved.

Hope this helps,

-Mike Wirth

P.S. Email me at [email protected]
if you want more specific details and/or
help.


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:26 PM.

Powered by vBulletin Version 3.6.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.