Gary Halbert's Kitchen Table
 

I just attended a very good marketing seminar put on by Ben Moskel & Dave Clabeaux in Tampa. It reminded me of how much I owe to other marketers. Maybe you'll find benefit in this story.

In October of 1990, I sat at Gary Halbert's kitchen table in his Key West condo. By day, I was a mild-mannered bus driver on Miami Beach - sort of Ralph Kramden South.

By night, I was Super Writer. I worked on a modern word processing machine in the wee hours, writing sales letters for people I had met at another marketing seminar. I'd been writing for about a year when I FedExed a package of my letters to Gary Halbert, self-proclaimed Prince of Print. I asked Halbert if I could write copy for his clients at his $7000 Seminar by the Sea in Key West.

I was pretty astonished when he called the next night and invited me to work with him.

A few weeks later, Halbert & I sat at his kitchen table. He was carrying a legal-sized yellow pad. That's where he wrote his copy. No computer ... this was 1990. Heck ... not even a typewriter. He created with pen on paper, and someone at his office entered it into the computer.

Also in the kitchen was Paulette. I knew her from his newsletters. Twenty years before anyone ever heard of eHarmony.com, Paulette was the lady Halbert chose from all those women who responded to his FULL-PAGE girl-seeking ad in the Los Angeles Times. In that very unique ad, Halbert described the woman he wanted in his life. Took him weeks to sift through all the responses from the beautiful ladies of Southern California, and to choose Paulette. Just another reason he was a living legend among direct marketers.

On the kitchen table sat a copy of a recent issue of The National Enquirer. At one point in our conversation, Halbert picked up the Enquirer and showed me the full-page ad he'd recently written for his book, Maximum Money In Minimum Time.

He said, "I spent $22,000 for that ad."

$22k. Wow. That was more than half my yearly salary as a bus driver. Brother.

And then he told me a secret that inspired me to my own marketing success. In his newsletter, Halbert wrote every month about which marketing strategies had worked for him and which ones hadn't. Well, mostly what worked. But he never wrote about his full-page ad in the Enquirer.

He said, "You know what I got back? $2000. I thought it would be a good market for my book. But those guys just want something for nothing. HUH!"

The man had just dropped half-a-year of my salary, and all he could say was "HUH!" Halbert was a direct marketing legend. He was a huge success. He was a model for thousands of marketers like me. And yet there I sat at his kitchen table, getting an inside peek at what looked to me like a very big failure.

I spent that week with Halbert and 45 of his clients from all over the country. Plus, the other direct marketing legends who were his guest speakers (Bill Myers, Dan Kennedy, Carl Galletti, Ken Kerr, Ted Nicholas & others) ... and my fellow copywriters (John Carlton, Brad Antin, David Deutsch, Gene Dowdle, Loretta Duffy, & Brad Peterson). Easily the most memorable week of my life ... I could write a book just about our "copywriter retreats" to the bars of Key West in the evenings after each session.

But my biggest inspiration came at Halbert's kitchen table as he told me how he dropped $20,000 on one ad. Until then, I mostly thought of myself as a doofus marketer, way out of my league at Halbert's seminar. I believed my string of personal failures would go on forever, and I would never be as successful as any of these people.

And then to hear Halbert's secret that he never shared with his subscribers ... how he lost $20k on a single bad advertising choice ... and to see him shrug it off ... just absolutely inspired me.

Heck - I could do THAT!

In fact, 7 years later, I did. I hired a well-known pro to completely re-do a mailing package I had written & mailed successfully. I then test-mailed it to 25 well-chosen (I thought) lists. Cost? $75,000. Return? The same $2000 Halbert had gotten. My reaction? "HUH! That was dumb!" And quickly on to the next project.

I've often thought of that kitchen table and my private glimpse into Halbert's business as his inner doofus connecting with my own. I will be forever grateful to the Prince of Print for telling me about his loss ... and acting like it was just the most minor annoyance.

Richard Dennis

Thanks Richard, not my fav...I like the Muhammed Ali one...but this is good stuff.
 

Richard,

Didn't I meet your inner doofus in AR? The guy that forgot batteries for his recorder? HA!

It is a good place to be when failure of any kind can be handled with a shrug of the shoulders and a "lesson well earned", right?

Perspective is always a good thing to keep in the back pocket or at least in your inner brain.

Now that I can see again, I'll be getting back to work. Thanks for the inspiration and great story.

Gordon Jay Alexander

The Waitress Who Bought Her Boss' Restaurant Out of Her TIPS
 

Thanks Dennis,

Good story.

Got a good one for you in return!

I recently met a rather amazing woman who learned waitressing from
Mentors. Other waiters and waitresses making 300% more tips than she
pulled in.

Exactly like you did with Gary Halbert and all the copywriting gurus. She
collected proven ideas from The Experts. In her case 100's of other
waitresses at lots and lots of restaurants. (Her father invested in
restaurants and took her along.)

Back at her own waitress job - working for a friend of her father - Shirley
tested out the best ideas she collected.

And started pulling in 2K, 3K then up to 5K in tips a day!

25,000.00 a week.

So when her boss made some bad investments. Came to her Dad to buy the
restaurant. She teamed up with him. Slowly bought the entire restaurant out of her profits.

Now...

50% or 15,000.00 of her weekly TIPS came from ONE IDEA.

Shirley told me she tracked everything.

#1 - She helped you off with your coat and hat

#2 - She pulled your chair back.

#3 - She unfolded your napkin. Handed it to you or put it in your lap.

#4 - She Hung around your table. Puttered and pampered and replaced
dishes and filled empty cups.

ALL so she could do ONE THING.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

The MORE Times She Touched Her Customers The BIGGER Her Tips Got!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I've been talking with clients about how to use this in sales situations
to boost sales.

And got this email from a retired minister - consultant who volunteers PART
TIME at a local Hospital.

He's been visiting patients and holding their hands. Patting their arms.
touching them. Listening to them.

The HOSPITAL is Kicking him out!

==============
Dear Glenn,

After being a hospital chaplain for 3 weeks, I was called into the president's
office and told that since I arrived, the hospital was losing money, because
patients got better too fast, after talking to me. Eric

==============

Thanks,
Glenn Osborn

P.S. - HERE's THE RUB in SALES Situations. Shirley told me it's Not Easy to
Touch people today without creating Problems.

She told me some of her Sneaky TOUCH Strategies.

After Experimenting on THOUSANDS of diners she should have the bugs
worked out, right?

But I tested anyway. Everything she told me WORKS GOOD. So I stuck the
info into a Video Book. Which is selling right now on Ebay.

-------------------------------------------------------

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll..._8993wt _1139

-------------------------------------------------------

Re: Levels of Doofusity
 

Gordon,

I prefer to push the envelope. "No batteries" was one of my more mundane levels of doofusity. However ... as I recall, it was more than enough to hook you into an extended "search-by-foot", so it served its purpose.

Richard

Well call me Gomer and slap me with Betty White's gloves...
 

Hey, I'm easy.

But on point (hopefully)...it is sometimes...we forget the important things and have lapses.

And although I am sometimes a doofus too, it is an absolute given; it is always:

I ain't no Eienstein.

And some of you savvy people take advantage. Sort of like exploiting Betty White

which I'm trying to do here, to see if she (WE here) pop up soon on the Betty White searches. A doofus thing to do? Probably.

Gordon Jay

One Secret To Betty White's Longevity
 

Dear Gordon,

Thanks.

You may know this.

But before and after Alan Luddan (Password) died Betty White was very rich. (And her family grew up in show biz. So she knew movers and shakers.)

She invested her money in what she knew about. TV and Movie production companies. The projects of friends she respected and had worked for.

30 or 30 years later Betty is a lot like Mary Tyler Moore - who inherited a billion dollars in her Grant Tinker divorce.

Her investments have grown many times. She owns large Chunks of stock in major major players in all areas of THE BIZ.

So - yes she is talented and driven.

Yes, she has full time joke writers on her payroll.

Yes, she is a control freak and pre-scripts much of what she does when she visits a talk show. Or does a Guest Spot.

But as smart as Betty is she would be in a retirement home with the rest if she didn't CONTROL or influence the companies that hire her, put her on Dave Letterman and other shows...

FEAR and Respect come into play there too.

She owns CHUNKS of businesses that over-lap theirs!

Hers is a good disguise. White haired and motherly.

But the REAL Betty is more like the Movie character she played that has 100 foot long alligators as pets!

Sharp mind - Sharp teeth.

Thanks,
Glenn