REAL confidence -- is it a myth?
 

It's hard to stay rational about this topic, so excuse me if I ramble on a bit...

What I'm wondering is, is there any such thing as REAL confidence? The FEW times I've experienced it, it was short-lived, then everything reverted back to "normal" (aka: desperation).

It has to do with being able to "float upon" some kind of confidence-boosting environment -- and whether that "environment" can be counted upon to exist! That is what gives one real confidence -- or the lack of it. It's a safety net which one presumably cannot fall below. If it doesn't exist, there's no basis upon which to build confidence, which results in constant uneasiness -- insecurity (aka: shattered nerves).

Here are some analogies to clarify what I'm getting at...

Beautiful woman can "float upon" (aka: coast) to a certain extent, based on that beauty. She has confidence knowing that she cannot fall below a certain level, since she'll always have admirers she can "pluck off the shelf" if need be -- not that she WOULD -- but IF she needed to, she COULD.

Here's a better analogy --

When I was in radio, I worked at a VERY small station. A friend of mine worked in a BIG station, across town. He had much more confidence than I did -- and here's one of the reasons... I remember telling him that when we (at my station) ran call-in contests, we always had to take "caller number 3" (or some other very LOW number) -- he asked me why -- I told him we had trouble getting 3 people to call in -- even to WIN A PRIZE!

He seemed AMAZED by that -- because at his station, they could use caller # 99, or even caller #199. In fact, he told me, there were CONSTANTLY people calling in to the station -- even when there was no contest or prize being given away. In fact, at ANY MOMENT he could just reach over to the phone and press any button and get a listener on the line. He could "PLUCK THEM OFF THE SHELF" at any time. No desperation.

Another way of putting it is, THERE WAS "PRESSURE" on the other side of the door, not just coming from HIS side of the "door."

One station had PLENTY to "float upon," and the other station had (basically) NOTHING to float upon.

Don't get me wrong, I kinda get a kick out of finding ways to get blood from a stone. I've been doing it for as long as I can remember. Being kept desperate keeps one creative, that's for sure! I just go through life assuming there's no pressure coming from "the other side of the door," and that there never will be.

Any "demand" is the demand I "create" myself. "Desperation marketing."

It's just that it's not exactly confidence-inducing, either. It's nerve wracking to work without a net. Just ask Willie Lowman.

There's a fine line between selling + begging.

But is it really necessary to live like that? I'm getting better at masking it -- like some con artist who's between cons (ie: broke).

I've asked this before on this forum -- it's a fine line between enthusiasm + desperation. But one is confidence-laden, and the other is confidence-void.

REAL confidence is like that old marketing bit of copy: "I don't care if you buy or not, I'll still eat steak tonight [etc.]." How often is that really true?

Sorry if this is all too deep and/or subjective and/or off topic.

I know many of the readers of this forum are also often on the fine line between enthusiasm + desperation.

After all, if your product/service were REALLY "in demand," sending out 20,000 sales letters (for instance) would not be "necessary." Your product/service would presumably "sell itself." Hiring a copywriter would yield the exact same results as not hiring one.

Just wondering what your thoughts are on this topic of "REAL" confidence.

Can you -- at any moment you choose -- pluck what you want "off the shelf?" If you had to, can you "float upon" (aka: coast) a friendly, beneficial environment that will be there consistently, reliable, predictably?

Do you have REAL confidence about that? If so, how did you acquire that position?

Or are you always in "survival mode" -- always rolling the ball up the hill (again!) Are you always prospecting your head off? On the "bicycle of life," are you using the "PEDAL LIKE HELL, AND KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED" method? Do you feel like if you were to STOP pedaling like hell -- even for a second -- your "bicycle" would fall over?

Or is it a combo of both or a balancing act?

I remember a very well known marketer (initials D.F.) who "made it big" (became a millionaire), yet he was very interested to find out more about how someone was using the "MEET-UP" service to organize meetings of 5-6 people in his local town. Did not strike me as being congruent. Millionaire experiences NO ability to "coast?!?" Still prospecting using what I would consider desperate (low-level, one-off, work-intensive) prospecting methods. If millionaire status does not bring the benefit of RAISING the safety net, or INCREASING the "coast" factor, then WHAT'S THE POINT (of making the million)?

The whole point of desperately prospecting is to work toward a point where you can EASE UP on the desperation -- no?

Re: REAL confidence -- is it a myth?
 

Hi TW,

The good news is...

You create confidence by designing and building such an environment.

The bad news is...

Nothing lasts forever.

Seems to me that whatever your “Irresistible Offer” is, may just not be resonating with your target market. If it were, you would have more leads than you can handle and prospecting would be a breeze.

I’ll use myself as an example, in the past when I only had a handful of qualified leads to contact my confidence would dip really low and I would come across as being desperate and for every 3 people I called only one would book an appointment with me.

I have a good product and service (Portraits/Photography) that people can’t help but want, but only after they see the final product. So for me the solution was to set up a system that would automatically prospect for me resulting in more leads than I have time for.

Now that I have several such prospecting systems in place nearly every person I speak to will book a session with us! And if someone did reject my irresistible offer – so what – there are several hundred more people in my marketing funnel who are praying I call them. Thus your confidence level shoots sky high while your stress level drops like a rock because you know there is more demand for you than you can handle by yourself. Once you reach that point you can ease up a bit and shift your attention to hiring and training help to leverage your time and income.

I’m taking it a bit further by setting up front end sales funnels that eliminates most of the pain and rejection of prospecting and also setting up backend systems that automate the selling/closing for me. Before doing this I use to be people dependent. Now I’m more system dependent because I can hire no talent people off the street and in 3 hours time train them to turn out a great product that people can’t resit buying. Now if everyone performs as poorly as my worst employee – no problem because my system creates very reliable, consistent results.

Reading and implementing the “E-Myth Revisited”, the “4 Hour Work Week”, “Work The System” and “Never Cold Call Again” has fixed my confidence problem at least for the time being but who knows for how long as the entire universe is in a constant state of flux and the only constant is change itself. But at least for a while I find myself in a pretty nice place and when I do life seems so much better and that reflects in my confidence level.

I won’t show you my proprietary automated backend sales & closing system or how I drive hundreds of prospects to several different front end sales systems but I will show you one of the sites that I send prospects to in order to pre qualify them for our time at: http://tinyurl.com/4sk9akd

Do you think your confidence would soar if you had hundreds of hot prospects opting in to your sales funnel each day?

You may be so busying working in your business that you never find time to work on improving your systems. Have you implemented anything from Sam Carpenters “Work The System” book?

Cheers,
Steve