Hi,

I slightly rewrote some of your warnings, viz:

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The Person Wearing This Shirt Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance between Them.

SO KEEP YOUR DISTANCE!

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EXTREME DANGER!!

The Mass of The Individual Wearing This Shirt Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.

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BELIEVE IT OR NOT:

Despite My Appearance, Onlookers Are Advised That, in Actuality, I Consist of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.

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Best,

- Boyd