One thing is very important: you have to make your own rules.
You should own the rules instead of letting the rules own you.
Having said that - there is a solution Sandi.
Roy H. Williams has written a story in one of his trilogy books:
A friend asks Roy how he can detach himself from work when he leaves the office. How can you stop thinking about work-work-work?
Instead of answering, Roy asks the friend to look outside the window at the garden for 5 minutes. He then asks him to stare at a blank wall for the next 5 minutes.
While the friend is staring at the blank wall - Roy asks: are you thinking about the garden now?
You have to focus on something more interesting than blank wall or your mind will wander back to the garden.
(Written from memory - so there may be errors about details. But the idea behind it remains intact)
Get a hobby that is more exciting than work. This way, boring work and to-do lists won't keep you awake.