June wrote -

>It is the first time I have ever built one so >PLEASE be nice with comments on it. Link is >below.

My comments are not meant to hurt your feelings but to provide positive feedback. The only way I know to give feedback is to just say it so here goes.

As I promised, I visited the other link you posted. I'm no site design guru, (just had a web site redesign done by a real expert), but I *have* studied direct response marketing and copy over the years. I've had a few small successes there as have others on this board. Since I'm not a web design expert, I won't comment on that aspect of your site. However, WRT the copy, I had this overwhelming sense that the whole thing was nothing but a listing of get-rich-quick-schemes. With phrases like "30 Mill Opt-Ins" and "blast your message", I think you can see how people will get the wrong impression. I found nothing that motivated me in that copy to check out any of the opportunities. That doesn't mean that you don't have legitimate opportunities. It means that you copy needs to be rewritten to show me why I should use any of your opportunities as opposed to the thousands of others that are available. You need to sell the benefits of your programs. (Don't leave out the features but you must lead with the benefits.) What will the prospect gain if they buy one of your programs? 30 million opt-ins is *not* a benefit. Let me share with you a technique I learned several years ago. The technique is called "So What?" and I learned it from a master marketer by the name of Jeffrey Lant. Here's how it works. The object is to turn features into benefits.

(Keep in mind that this is an example only and you must perform the process yourself on each of your own features.)

1. The ultimate goal is to get the benefit as close to an ultimate benefit as possible. Some marketers say that there are only a handful of ultimate benefits, like 20. Some even say that can whittle down to 3 (and if I remember them correctly); 1. Safety, 2. Relationships, 3. Making money.

1. Let's say we're selling a car with steel belted radials with seven steel belts and a 75,000 mile warranty. So that's the feature; steel belted radials with seven steel belts.

2. Now ask "So what?" Well, the seven steel belts provide for a stronger, more durable tire.

3. Ask "So what?" again. A stronger, more durable tire will handle better under more types of road conditions and all kinds of weather. (A glimmer of hope begins to appear but we're not there yet.*g*)

4. So we ask "So what?" again. Well, if my tires allow the vehicle to handle better in a multitude of weather and road conditions, the passengers, (probably my family), will be safer.

5. Ah! Now we've gotten somewhere. Saftey/security *is* one of the top ultimate benefits.

6. So our copy might say something like:

"XYZ tires are constructed differently from most tires. XYZ tires are constructed with seven steel belts as opposed to the industry standard of six steel belts. Our independent tests have shown that just the one additional steel belt improves handling X% in all weather and road conditions. And that means you can rest assured that your precious cargo will arrive safe at Grandma's house just in time for that all important turkey."

Well, the copy isn't perfect as it was off the top of my head. I'm sure Richard Dennis, Gordon or some of the others here on the board could work it over and make it much better. But I think you get the idea.

Rick Smith, "The Net Guerrilla"

> You may also be interested in reading my
> response to Dien.