I hear ya Michael.

Nurturing and embracing extremely unrealistic expectations is probably likely, overall, to become an exercise in frustration.

It would seem that the young man's father was striving for the 'Pygmalion effect', but the 'seed planting' failed to produce the desired results.

Could that not be considered brainwashing, at least to some extent? Hmmm.....

However, I have to admit that I practiced a bit of this, too, in raising my own sons.

I didn't want to rain on their parade or squelch their dreams.

I didn't introduce my doubts into their reality.

And I probably overly encouraged them to "be all that they could be" in every way...reach for the stars, dream big dreams, etc.

It seems to me that there are so many parents in this world who have low self-esteem and just live for the moment...often merely existing in quiet despair.

And that 'state of mind' seems to 'bleed' over to their offspring. Nothing much is expected to come of their lives.

I've often thought that youth, in circumstances like that, need a least a gentle 'prod'...or someone who believed in them enough to inspire them to get their juices flowing...in order to rise above an existence where, otherwise, there would be no expectations of accomplishment.

Guess there is somewhat of a fine line to heed ... between our proud expectations as parents and the pressure we put on our children to exceed.

A wise, elderly psychologist once told me that he totally quit thinking in terms of what he desired, anticipated or expected... and changed all those words in his own mind to his "preferences"...telling himself that he preferred this {or that} to occur, but if it didn't, it wasn't going to be tied in with his happiness or peace of mind."

Perhaps it takes a mature person, however, to adopt that way of framing experiences and expectations, however.

And, to handle defeat without crumbling when expectations don't work out accordingly.

~ Amber