Hi Linda,

Gosh, I agree with you fully!

Thanks also for sharing that poem....

"If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn...." (and the rest....)

When I was growing up, my Mom had a wall-hanging with this poem on it. She hung it on a shelf next to her bed, so she could see it whenever she got up in the morning, and whenever she went to bed at night....

I feel I had a lucky upbringing. The main thing for me was that I knew I was loved unconditionally (this is very important).... And also my parents taught me that I could do or achieve ANYTHING. And I really believed it (and still do)....

All I had to do was put enough effort into it, and I would succeed....

As a result, I have a huge belief in my own abilities.... There's no doubt that it was instilled in me by my parents, and that it's a big factor in my successes in life so far....

I agree that "success" often does run in families, and I think it generally isn't genetic (certainly not fully). I believe there's a big component which comes from a child's upbringing.... Giving a child confidence in his or her own abilities....

I honestly don't recall ever being told I was "bad".... Instead, when I got in trouble, I was told that what I DID was "naughty" -- there's a difference. It wasn't "me" who was "bad," it was my actions....

I also think that most people will believe what you tell them about themselves. If you say they're "bad", they'll believe they're "bad" and act "bad", since that's how they view themselves.... Yet, if you tell them they're "good", they'll act appropriately. Or if you tell them they're "intelligent", "disciplined", and so on, people will begin to behave in accordance with their new self-image....

I like to try to be a positive influence for people in this way. I like to try to look for the positives, and point them out.... For example, Linda, I can say that my impression of you is that you are a very determined and courageous woman, and that I admire those qualities in you. :) And it would be true.... :)

I also liked what you said about courageous people not being completely free of fear. Thanks for the story about you and your grandpapa! :) I never really thought about this issue in that way, but it sounds true to me!

Thanks Linda, I really agree a lot with your post.... I don't have kids myself, but I do feel my parents did a lot of things right when raising my two brothers and me, and what they did was pretty much in accordance with what you wrote.... :)

- Dien