Hi Becky,

Glad you liked the article.... :)

> Where kind words are lacking, we should
> create them for ourselves. Yes, I am
> referring to positive self talk. In order
> for others to believe in us, we need to
> believe in ourselves.

I agree fully.... And positive self talk is an important factor. As well as getting rid of negative self talk....

I think many people have a lot of negative self talk going on.... It may be so "normal" to you that you don't even notice it. What I mean is, what do you say when you have those little "conversations" with yourself, when you are thinking?

Some people will get an idea, then immediately an *irrational* negative response will arise....

For example, they might think to themselves, "I could create an ezine" - then *immediately*, the thought will spring up, "Oh, nobody would want to read what I'd write." That's an example of *irrational* negative self-talk....

The solution is to be aware of when you do this, and to then question your own negative statements.

In the example above, if you notice you told yourself "nobody would want to read what I'd write," then reply to it with, "Really, NOBODY would want to read it? That sounds like an exaggeration, I'm sure SOMEBODY would be interested. At least ONE person would be interested in what I'd have to write...."

By questioning your own negative statements like this, you can often see how irrational these negative statements often are....

I read a book about ten years ago called "Feeling Good: the New Mood Therapy" by David D. Burns. It's actually about helping people who are depressed, by using something called cognitive therapy (I had some problems with depression at the time). The book is all about dealing with this kind of negative self-talk.... And another good book I also read was "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman.

Applying what I learned from these two books dramatically changed my life and turned it around.... I found I was talking to myself in this negative way, yet I was so used to it that I didn't even realize it....

Once I started paying attention to what I was saying to myself, I was stunned! And once I started to question my own negative statements, I was amazed at how irrational many of them were!

Thanks Becky, that was a wonderful post.... I could really relate to what you said! :)

- Dien