The classical definition of chutzpah is the tale
of the kid that kills his parents and then begs
the court for leniancy because he's an orphan.

My favorite example of someone with chutzpah is
Muhommed Ali (sorry 'bout the spelling). Anyone
who could get away with the stuff he did, you got
to love.

And that, I think, is the key to chutzpah....while
being abrasive, etc, be loving and charming at
the same time.