In the states a popular TV show is "Longmire" about an old fashioned Western Sheriff in the modern day.

In one episode he finds a deputy who's bleeding to death from a gunshot wound so he stitches him up with fishing line and takes him to the nearest medical clinic - an ill equipped one on a reservation.

Seeing the horrible first aid and the poor condition of the patient... the attendant says "Why didn't you call 911?"

Longmire says "I am 911".

I've got tickets to a trade show.

I'm going to be wearing clothes, a hat and a sign designed to attract attention to something I want to promote.

I showed a friend what I was wearing and he said "But that doesn't fit the theme of this year's trade show' (something Western).

My inner Longmire must have kicked in...

"I AM MY OWN THEME!" I said...