Gordon, I agree with you...I believe this is the "key"...or missing piece from most people's communication efforts..."know thyself"...first KNOWING who YOU are in relation to WHO other people are...having that basic understanding...at least intellectually...helps with your "approach" to others...some people who are more in tune with their "instincts" have the ability to naturally find common communication ground...while some of us have to come to that skill "intellectually" before the "instinct" kicks in...I've always known that I was a little "different" from others...I just couldn't put my finger on what was going on...now that I've been "around the block" a bit, I've been able to communicate better with others, but just recently I have full blown figured out WHO I am...I know their are multiple personality test out there...I've taken many...but it wasn't until recently that I've figured out that I am a classic INTJ type...and man, has THAT made a difference...in a lot of ways...I also believe this lack of real understanding (especially of our own selves) is why so many people have a hard time learning how to "sell" "make a reasonable offer"...and why there are sooooo many training programs and books on selling...mass confusion in the world.