If you're not part of the problem, or part of the solution... you're part of the landscape. (Robert DeNiro, Ronin)

Your post reminded me of two things... one made me rather uncomfortable... the other, uplifting.

First, my discomfort... in a previous business of mine I had to pay a visit to a person who worked in a high-security mental ward.

The first words out of the short, muscle-bound doorman's mouth after establishing my right to enter were... stay close, if anything happens get behind me. He then opened a very thick steel door and I entered the mouth of madness.

I'd been in mental wards before... but this... this was different.

Outwardly I was calm. But inside, I was assessing everything. ALL my senses were in a heightened state of alert. I was constantly analysing potential escape routes, weapons, etc. Trying to stay one teeny tiny step ahead, just in case.

It didn't take me long to realise the "inmates" of this "prison" had great regard and respect for the guard. And that eased me no end. As did experiencing this NEW environment with someone ready to hold my hand.

My next visit to the same place didn't have that same element of fear attached to it. I was still alert, you had to be. But I was, if there is such a thing, used to it.

The unknown thing had been experienced and I'd come out of it fine.

The second thing your post reminded me of was a story about a lady... a lady whose husband left her with parting words to the effect... "You're holding me back. I'm leaving. You'll never amount to anything... all you'll ever be is some housewife."

Here was a woman who'd spent the majority of her adult life raising a family while her husband provided.

Imagine the fear she felt to have that world... that support, in all its forms (emotional, finacial, etc.)... yanked out from under her.

Did she go crawling off to whimper in some corner?

Nope.

She embraced the fear of her husband being right and proved him wrong. In a big way.

Turns out HE was holding her back. HA!

Michael Ross.