GEEEEZzz...don't you hate"pretentiousness"...
when I get around that bunch of egotistical
people, I answer:
"I'd rather not say"...
and they always reply back:
"oh so you're one of those"...
(I have no idea what they are implying...I'guess
it depends on how I'm dressed that day)...

...graduation (yawn)...surrounded by The
> Pretentious Pack with their red wine and
> inquisitive eyes...”So what do you DO?”

> Some typical answers surrounding me:

> “I’m an investment banker for Fidelity.”
> “I’m a doctor of neuropharmacology at Mass
> General...”

> Here’s a few new answers I want to try out:

> “I teach cow-tipping classes.”
> “I’m a fishmonger-in-training...”
> “My name is Bond, James Bond.”

> Of course, I didn’t want to say “Well, I
> hate all work, really. I’m just looking for
> a way to make big bucks while doing
> absolutely nothing...sitting by the pool
> drinking Dewar’s...with the Hawaiian Tropic
> girls.”

> That always goes over well. Blank stares.

> Welcome to the foppish game of “Who’s
> Winning the Rat Race?” (also known as “Who
> Here Has the Most Golden Baubles?”) Answers
> like the above automatically place one in
> the category of...Mental Patient (at least
> among this crowd), to where I have been
> relegated for at least the near future.

> See, I got this degree in Film
> (hahahahahahaha...like there’s such a thing
> as a degree in Film...oh, sonovagun, looky
> there, I really do have a degree
> in...Film!). Many years later, I still get
> asked, “What’s your degree in?” This
> inevitably leads to “Ohhh….that’s SOOOOOO
> interesting...so do you work in film?”

> “No, I sell supermarket equipment.”

> “Really? How did you get into that with a
> film background?”

> “Well, I filled out an application...see, I
> had to make MONEY to pay the rent."

> More blank stares.

> Does this banality ever end?

> I’ve come to the conclusion that whatever I
> am...and that’s still a
> work-in-progress...and pretty much always
> will be a work-in-progress (because how do
> you ever know you’re THERE…wherever THERE
> is?) I am not ONE THING. Who is? Everybody
> wants to be defined and to define by that
> pointed-stick question “So...what do you
> DO?”

> As if that’s what you ARE.

> Don't let anybody do this to you. Remember,
> you are many things.

> For example, I am a Sunset-Watcher, a
> Hamburger-Eater, a Guinness-drinker, a
> Stop-and-Watch-All-The-Pretty-Sights-Along-the-Way-Because-We-Only-Have-So-Much-Time-Type-Thinker.

> Which is why I’m here. I don’t want to spend
> all my life WORKING, get to the end and say
> “So that’s it, huh? Where was the fun?”

> This is why I visit the forums, and I’ve
> been finding a lot of inspiration. I’m
> working on Gordon’s “What do you want to
> do...and WHY do you want to do it?” Ah, but
> that’s another post.

> So as you go to graduations with tinkly
> champagne glasses these upcoming weekends...

> How about this...how about adding two little
> words to that phrase for the graduation
> ceremonies for certain to raise the eyebrows
> of the yachting crowd: “So what do you do
> FOR FUN?”

> If their work is fun, they can talk about
> it. If not, they can tell you what they
> really like.

> Not to mention, it might get people to start
> thinking about FUN instead of the usual B.S.

> This may get more blank stares...but if
> you’re going to get blank stares…you may as
> well have a little fun with it, right?

> Happy Graduations.

> John Drake