Thanks Dien,
Ok.
First...
The Testimonial on Barbara's 12 mil lion dol lar website.
Lastly...
A Re-write.
All it takes is a little list writing. Then it's easy to Be Specific. And Focus on
one Benefit.
===============
===============
CHAPTER #1 - Be Specific-Focus Each Testimonial on 1 Benefit
I Dare You To Read This Testimonial
and Figure out Even ONE Action to Take.
As you read - Please notice there are no specific actions
to take. Zero products to ask about.
Yuck.
(Testimonial has No Title or Headline)
Imagine being full of energy. Imagine working full-time, taking evening
college classes and aerobics, getting three active children to their various
schools and activities and still never lacking the energy to plan or volunteer
for parties and community events. Imagine suddenly being unable to do any
of these things. This happened to me.
From 'supermom' to lifeless, I was attacked by "a mysterious illness." I would
sleep for fourteen hours only to wake up still feeling tired. Daily migraines
and endless nausea stalked every move. Armed with a list totaling 24
symptoms, I sought a diagnosis from doctors. After running a battery of
tests, they were unable to detect a cause for my misery.
Luckily, the symptoms eventually subsided. However, I was left ravaged by
the effects of the un-named illness. I had gained weight and still lacked the
energy that my demanding life required, when a chance encounter buoyed
my life in a new direction. Trading stories of lackluster energy, a lady
diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) told me about how she had
experienced a greater level of flexibility and movement ever since she began
consuming Super Blue Green Algae (SBGA) harvested from Oregon's Upper
Klamath Lake.
Returning home, I sought to incorporate SBGA into my routine. I conducted
research on the Internet and discovered Simplexity, just in time to attend
the annual company-sponsored gathering of enthusiastic Distributors. Making
the trek from my home in Elmira, Oregon to the event in Klamath Falls,
Oregon I found herself surrounded by upbeat and energetic people. I met
people who'd overcome medical challenges far more serious than mine. They
had enhanced their health and were an inspiration to me.
Since attending the New Earth August Celebration, I have incorporated SBGA
products into my recovery plan. Jumping back into my family life and a four-
day-a-week gym routine, I was making headway.
At a rapid pace, I have been able to regain the strength and vigor I had prior
to my illness and then some. People at my gym are amazed at how quickly I
have gotten back into shape and at all the weight I have lost. They want to
know my secret. I just smile and share my experience.
Cindy Foster
Elmira, Oregon
=================
=================
Eeeeek!
OK.
Here is one Way to Rewrite this Testimonial.
And add a specific Benefit/problem.
------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------
Step I - Lift a Headline out of the body copy.
"I Was Attacked By a Mysterious Illness & Gained Weight"
"Hi,
"My name is Cindy. I'm a full time mother of 3 kids, have a full time job
and Act as "Cab Driver" for all the kids school and sports activities. Plus
volunteer for community events and parties.
"I Was Attacked By a Mysterious Illness & Gained Weight because I suddenly
started sleeping 14 hours a day. And Waking up dead tired. Of my 24
symptoms the terrible migraines and endless nausea were the worst.
"Doctors couldn't help. Eventually the worst of my pain went away. But
I was still dead tired. And I had gained a lot of weight. Luckily I met a
MS patient who had gotten some help from SBGA - Super Blue Green Algae
products from Klamath Lake.
"I attended their August Celebration. Got advice from people who had had
even worse health challenges than me.
"At a rapid pace, I have been able to regain the strength and vigor I had prior
to my illness and then some. People at my gym are amazed at how quickly I
have gotten back into shape and at all the weight I have lost. They want to
know my secret. I just smile and share my experience.
Cindy Foster
Elmira, Oregon
----------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------
ACTION SUMMARY -
Just Suppose You are writing your own Testimonial.
It helps to make a list.
List the problems you had.
Then list what problems have gotten better.
List how or why you feel better.
And Put Yourself in the place of a reader. Ask yourself, "What would readers
want to know if they had similar health problems?
Just between us...
Based on others I've spoken to. And clients with similar health issues.
It sounds as if Cindy was poisoned by something toxic in her environment.
Or something she ate or drank.
I have a friend who used to work as a CameraMan at Football and Baseball
games all over the USA.
Now he is in constant Pain.
His father is very rich. So he's been all over the world. Been examined by
the top doctors in many countries. NOTHING Has Helped.
Here's something Odd.
Bill says he gets 45 minutes without PAIN in both arms After he does a
Chi Energy Exercise I got from a World Famous Surgeon. Who, in turn, learned it from his Korean Energy Healing Sensai teacher.
If you wanna' Try it yourself.
Here's the link:
"How to Shoot Chi Energy Heat Out of Your Hands" - 365 day 100% munny
Back Guarantee.
http://archive.enchantednlp.com/products.php?id=74
---------------------------
---------------------------
CHAPTER #2 - "How My Friend Randy Used Peanut Butter to help his 250 lb
Iraqi Attack Dog *Sister* Lose Weight to Better Survive 120 Degree Texas
Heat"