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Old June 25, 2020, 04:53 PM
Glenn Glenn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,240
Default Bang, Bang, Bang - STOMP - WHAM - CRASH Sounds Made me Run

Thanks Gordon,

I Got a bit STEAMED UP and EMOTIONAL in my Story - Here.

It used to Really TICK ME OFF
Having to Buy a new trash can Twice a year.

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I was cutting weeds with my scythe - down the bottom of a hill.

Heard this Really LOUD Banging.

And it went on and on.

So I ran up the hill to the road.

And there was my neighbor - Jumping up and down on a big Garbage Can. So she could fit it into a new Garbage Can.

Spotting me.

She Blushed a bit.

Said, "I am trying to smash this broken rubbermaid garbage can up so the garbage men will know it is Trash."

I looked at the plastic Garbage can she was Jumping up
and down on - later.

Just checked on-line.

A RUBBERMAID Garbage can with wheels - in her Size and Style.

120.00 !!

Last Year I picked up 17 pieces of her Garbage Can in the road.

The Year before I carried their busted Garbage can up their driveway - 2 times.

THIS YEAR - I dunno what Catastrophe
Happened to her Garbage can.

ME?

My Rubbermaid Trash Can has been The Same for 5 Years.

Some HIGHER Math is in order.

120.00 TIMES 5 Years = 600.00

My Plastic Trash can is In Perfect Condition!

My Secret?

I PLAY THE LOTTERY! And Win 100% of the time!

You Ask, "How is this possible?"

Becuz I Have a SYSTEM!

Step I - I Buy some instant Scratch off 1.00 LOTTO tickets

Step II - On trash Day - I Write

"THANK YOU,
Glenn"

on a 3 by 5 Card.

Step III - Then I Staple the Thank you Card to a LOTTO ticket.

Step IV - Then I put both into a clear plastic bag. Tie it to the Trash Can Handle.

Step V - Set the Trash can Next to my Mail box.

RESULT?

Each week I find my Trash Can Nestled Safely in my grass. Well away from the Road.

You say, "PSAW!"

"That would happen Bribe or no bribe."

I SAY, "OH YEAH?"

"Have you ever seen Your Spanking new 120.00 Plastic Trash Can Flipped High in the Air on a December morning at 6 am - Temp is 10 Degrees Farhenheit?- by the Trash men?

And the Brittle Plastic Crack and Splits down the side like thin Glass?

WELL I HAVE.

But it no longer happens to me.

BECAUSE My TRASH Men - Play The LOTTERY on my behalf.

They seems to have Won Something too! Cuz They wave and Honk the horn at me when they see me.

But I win 100% of the time.

600.00 A year.

Thanks,
Glenn Osborn
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