Bang, Bang, Bang - STOMP - WHAM - CRASH Sounds Made me Run
Thanks Gordon,
I Got a bit STEAMED UP and EMOTIONAL in my Story - Here.
It used to Really TICK ME OFF
Having to Buy a new trash can Twice a year.
======
======
I was cutting weeds with my scythe - down the bottom of a hill.
Heard this Really LOUD Banging.
And it went on and on.
So I ran up the hill to the road.
And there was my neighbor - Jumping up and down on a big Garbage Can. So she could fit it into a new Garbage Can.
Spotting me.
She Blushed a bit.
Said, "I am trying to smash this broken rubbermaid garbage can up so the garbage men will know it is Trash."
I looked at the plastic Garbage can she was Jumping up
and down on - later.
Just checked on-line.
A RUBBERMAID Garbage can with wheels - in her Size and Style.
120.00 !!
Last Year I picked up 17 pieces of her Garbage Can in the road.
The Year before I carried their busted Garbage can up their driveway - 2 times.
THIS YEAR - I dunno what Catastrophe
Happened to her Garbage can.
ME?
My Rubbermaid Trash Can has been The Same for 5 Years.
Some HIGHER Math is in order.
120.00 TIMES 5 Years = 600.00
My Plastic Trash can is In Perfect Condition!
My Secret?
I PLAY THE LOTTERY! And Win 100% of the time!
You Ask, "How is this possible?"
Becuz I Have a SYSTEM!
Step I - I Buy some instant Scratch off 1.00 LOTTO tickets
Step II - On trash Day - I Write
"THANK YOU,
Glenn"
on a 3 by 5 Card.
Step III - Then I Staple the Thank you Card to a LOTTO ticket.
Step IV - Then I put both into a clear plastic bag. Tie it to the Trash Can Handle.
Step V - Set the Trash can Next to my Mail box.
RESULT?
Each week I find my Trash Can Nestled Safely in my grass. Well away from the Road.
You say, "PSAW!"
"That would happen Bribe or no bribe."
I SAY, "OH YEAH?"
"Have you ever seen Your Spanking new 120.00 Plastic Trash Can Flipped High in the Air on a December morning at 6 am - Temp is 10 Degrees Farhenheit?- by the Trash men?
And the Brittle Plastic Crack and Splits down the side like thin Glass?
WELL I HAVE.
But it no longer happens to me.
BECAUSE My TRASH Men - Play The LOTTERY on my behalf.
They seems to have Won Something too! Cuz They wave and Honk the horn at me when they see me.
But I win 100% of the time.
600.00 A year.
Thanks,
Glenn Osborn
|