Re: YOu want a critque or just asking as an excuse to get a link in?
Brutal Michael ... true, but brutal!
And Mr. Fu - Poor English is almost a guaranteed death sentance IMHO. If I read something where the English is poor, and I know it's directed at an English speaking market I will immediately judge it as unprofessional (if not a scam) and not worth my investment of time to read the website, much less seek out additional information.
If you truly have a valuable service, then pay a copywriter to write the verbiage.