TW,

I feel your pain. I used to be exactly where you are.

Example: As I once told my wife, it was 3 or 4 years after we got married before I began to understand how to talk to a girl. (And by then, it was too late ...)

But it took decades before I got decent at talking to people in general. It only happened after I discovered what the problem was ... and what the solution was.

The Problem: there are 4 personality types. They've been written about for hundreds of years, by many authors. You can read my own evaluation of the 4 types here:

The 4 Personalities

You and I are the "green" personality, the analytical. Analyticals have many positive attributes. Unfortunately, most of us struggle our entire lives to build relationships. But there is a very, very simple solution. (I didn't say "easy" ... I said simple.)

The Solution: Listen.

My friend Michael & I recently did a conference call on how to listen. Based on my own painful experience, I believe you will never be successful at either personal or business relationships until you really learn to listen. I recommend you listen to this 33-minute call:

How To Listen

The problem for an analytical is that we tick people off when we talk. Most people don't want to hear all the details we love. And they watch us and they know that we are absolute masters of paralysis by analysis. And most of all, they know we believe we are always right and that we never listen to them ... which is the death knell for that relationship.

So the ONLY answer for you is to shut up and practice listening. And believe me, I know it's not easy.

Richard Dennis