Richard,

Here's why men have nipples...

God created woman first. However, HE gave her three breasts.

After her creation HE asked her if she'd like anything changed. She told HIM she only wanted two breasts.

So God pointed HIS finger and the extra breast fell off.

Eve, the woman's name, picked it up and said, "Now what are we going to do with this useless boob"

And God created man.

Michael Ross.

P.S. The above is an accurate portrayal of actual events I was there to witness first hand.