Hey Skip -- I appreciate your help.

I can't eliminate the 'project' that's most troubling me -- I depend on it. It's too big to fail, in my little world.

But I've also tried (unsuccessfully) to branch out + try other things. I am always met with the same 'greeting.'

--- "Go jump in a lake." (or worse) ---

So, when others 'sell' me stuff where that supposedly won't happen -- and it does -- suddenly everyone looks like a complete con artist.

Unfortunately, I am 'learning' to IGNORE my own belief system (ignore my own usual, natural trusting optimism). It keeps getting INTO (more) trouble, instead of getting me OUT of trouble.

Everyone is very friendly to me, so long as I am writing checks TO them. I can't seem to find anyone who wants to write checks TO me. Those types are very UNfriendly.

As far as starting small -- it seems to make no difference whether I start big or small. It all turns out DOA.

I'll keep trying -- but now I am GUNSHY + very, VERY suspicious of any life savers -- there's a good chance they are actually ANVILS in disguise... and I'm getting pretty tired of holding my breath when i go under.

Cheers(?)

-- TW