[Glenn]

Happy New Year,

Roger majored in Psychology in college.

Unlike most.

Roger USES what he learned.

Roger tells me he was at a Red Light. Looked up to see a bus full of pretty
girls giggling down at him.

So he followed the bus.

A security guard stops him at the gate to "AdventureLand" - some giant theme park.

Roger finds out all of the coeds on the bus are Employees. Since Roger is Not. He can't come in.

So he fills out a job application. Says, "I can sell anything."

And the Unpleasant Personnel Director says, "Ok, SmartAss. You'll be selling baseball caps on the midway. Everybody has failed at that booth for the past
3 years."

Roger discovers all his new girlfriends are walking around as BUNNY WABBITS.

Or Giant Mice or
Bears or
Dogs and
Cats,
Frogs
or Giant RATS. Wearing 3 and 4 foot wide Heads. Furry cloth bodies and huge floppy FEET.

But Roger starts Flirting despite the outfits.
Which the coeds LOVE because nobody else is treating them as women.

Roger Invites coeds back to his booth during their breaks. Feeds them
IcedTea, iceCream, Hot Dogs and Hamburgers by REACHING thru an EyeHole
in their Giant Mascot Masks.

THIS DRAWS BIG CROWDS!

So Roger starts selling Baseball caps. He quickly finds out WHY former hat
salespeople failed. The hats are so cheap the sizes can't be adjusted.

So Roger starts Experimenting. Tugging and pulling.

VOILA!

Roger invents the HAT STRETCHER.

He starts selling hats like crazy. Empties the tent. Empties the back storage
room. They bring in a small truckload. Gone.

Soon they are bringing in semi-trailer loads of hats.

Roger has developed a GAME he plays while flirting with all of his FURRY GIANT ANIMAL Costumed Girlfriends.

When sales get slow.

Roger Tips one of his Girlfriends over. Flat on the ground. Yells for "HELP!"
Laura The Mouse Needs Help to Stand up." Eight or ten men gather around
to lift and lever her rolly-polly body back vertical.

Takes off her Head.

And Proceeds - with much audience laughter - to Blackmail each girl to kiss
the buyer of a Hat - in order to get her GIANT FAT FURRY HEAD put BACK on.

Lots of pictures taken of each coed
going down a row of men and women
kissing them on the cheek - while Stuffed in all but the head of a GIANT
FROG Costume.

So.

Are you Curious about the HAT STRETCHER?

3 Hats are too small. Won't fit. So Roger goes in the back of the tent -
where he keeps his HAT STRETCHER.
Puts his foot in one end of the hat. Pulls and Breaks some of the elastic
around the hat band.

Thousands of hats sold - never a complaint.

Thanks,
Glenn Osborn