How to Eliminate Fear

I picked up a copy of The Freedom Encyclopedia
by Bill Kaysing at a used bookstore. In it he has
a fantastic chapter on eliminating fear from your
life.

Part one dealt with a message from the beyond
from Jack London. "There is nothing to fear, now
or later. Jack London. I know, because I've been
on both sides."

Part two dealt with the fact that fear is mostly
just inaction. Once you get into action, the
fear (actually, procrastination, too, come to
think of it) disappears. So, take action...the
worst that can happen is you die... :)

To a life without fear!

Is lack of courage. Lack of self-knowledge. Lack of understanding that everyone can succeed.

You may disagree but our society fails us all in the respect that it refuses to teach us about our own individuality, even on a spiritual level.

We are inculcated that we are part of a whole or we are nothing at all. Rubbish.

We are part of a whole but we exists as individuals with our own personalities, foibles, shortcomings, aspirations, dreams, and certainly fears.

To overcome anything requires courage first, I feel. Where are you taught courage?

It requires knowledge...the kind that only a individual can obtain on their own.

It requires understanding the fact that you can succeed.

But who is there to tell us this???????????????????

After you, or anyone responds I want to conclude with another thought...

Taylor

> I picked up a copy of The Freedom
> Encyclopedia
> by Bill Kaysing at a used bookstore. In it
> he has
> a fantastic chapter on eliminating fear from
> your
> life.

> Part one dealt with a message from the
> beyond
> from Jack London. "There is nothing to
> fear, now
> or later. Jack London. I know, because I've
> been
> on both sides."

> Part two dealt with the fact that fear is
> mostly
> just inaction. Once you get into action, the
> fear (actually, procrastination, too, come
> to
> think of it) disappears. So, take
> action...the
> worst that can happen is you die... :)

> To a life without fear!

You were taught it!!!

> To overcome anything requires courage first,
> I feel. Where are you taught courage?

> It requires knowledge...the kind that only a
> individual can obtain on their own.

> It requires understanding the fact that you
> can succeed.

> But who is there to tell us
> this???????????????????

Children do NOT needs to be taught courage or the understanding they can succeed. They have it already. It's built in.

However, it is removed ovder time by our wonderful education system.

Johnny, what's the capital of California?

Seattle?

WRONG!!!

(laughter fills the room and Johnny now feels bad. So bad, he may never bother answering another question. Or may go into his shell)

Why did the class laugh?

Because our education system is designed around a right/wrong mentality. Get it right and you go to the top of the class. get it wrong and you're supposedly a dummy and placed in the class of dummies to be made fun of.

As has been stated, we learn by doing. And in the course of doing we make mistakes. It's HOW WE LEARN. It cannot be avoided. Do. Correct, Do Again.

School, on the otherhand, expects, Do Right. Do Right. Do Right. To be Wrong is BAD and if you are wrong you are dumb and not worthy of anything.

If school taught you to ride a bycicle they'd first make you study the history of the bike, study the manufacturing process, study people of note-worthy riding ability, then have you write an essay on the joys of riding. Only after this heap of nonesense would you even be allowed to ride... and you'd be expected to get it right, first time.

If you can't write, or the history of the bike holds no interest for you and so you retain nothing, you will "fail" the tests and won't ever be allowed to ride.

That is how our school system teaches.

It creates a dog-eat-dog world and puts student against student where to "get it wrong" is BAD.

After thirteen or so years of this, is it any wonder people are afraid to try something new. They've been brainwashed into believing that to be Wrong is just about the biggest crimes there is. When in fact, it's part of the natural learning process.

Children generaly fear nothing and have no limits.

School soon instills fear and forcess limits.

Oh sure, the parents do too. How can they not. After all, they are previous graduates of the faulty educational system which stifles the individual. So they'd naturally do what they've been tuaght to do by the system.

Michael Ross.

PS. As a side note... ADD... real or BS. My opinion is... it's a load of BS. Your attention will be captured and held if the thing you're "learning" is of interest to you. If you have no interest your attention will wander.

My interest in Model Trains is ZERO. So in a class which teaches about Model Trains I would have no interest. No interests means I won't pay attention. And I'll likely be given a ADD label. HA!

To use my Bike analogy... I couldn't care less about the bike's history, or the best riders of this century, or how they're made. I just want to ride.

> Judging by the way so called ADD is "treated" in our school system, a large portion of our children have a Ritalin deficiency. Ridiculous! I like what the co-founder of NLP, Richard Bandler, has to say about it - The teachers should be given the drugs to keep up with the kids.

Bruce Arnold

Hey Taylor...

How have you been! Thought I'd add my two cents.

> Is lack of courage. Lack of self-knowledge.
> Lack of understanding that everyone can
> succeed.

Lack of courage? I don't know. Take many of those people that are so quickly labelled as having lack of courage. Place them on the curb of a sidewalk. Then place a baby in the middle of the street with a car bearing down on the baby at 90 miles per hour. I think you'd see courage in more cases than not.

But, perhaps what you term as lack of courage might be more aptly viewed as lack of self worth?
Lack of confidence, even?

I believe that courageous people are not free of fear. They have fear, too. They just do what they need to do despite the fear.

I recall sitting on my grandpapa's knee while he reminisced about world war one. About telling me how very very afraid he was - and how he felt he did not deserve the label of "courageous" that he earned, because he knew how afraid he was. That was when I learned that courage did not erase fear. It meant being afraid, and going on anyway.

> You may disagree but our society fails us
> all in the respect that it refuses to teach
> us about our own individuality, even on a
> spiritual level.

Do you feel this is our "society" teaching us this? I feel that in this day and age, one of the saddest things to see is the loss of accountability. People too often blame "society" when they should, perhaps, be looking a little closer to home.

For the first 4-6 years of a child's life, the formative years, the child has very little interaction with "society". Then, even when a child starts school, their little world really only expands to include their little schoolfriends and their teacher.

I may ruffle a few feathers in saying this, but
how many parents discipline their children using the word "BAD" repeatedly? Bad boy... bad little girl. Bad, bad, bad.

How many children grow up hearing their parents say things like; "Why can't you get an A, like your brother? Why can't you sit quiet, like your sister?"

How many primary (years 1-5) grade teachers say "Very good, Johnny!" with a big beaming smile and a pat on the head when the answer is right.... and frown disapprovingly when the answer is wrong? How seldom does the teacher praise the student for trying when the answer is wrong? Not too often. (Yes, I do realize there are exceptions... I was fortunate enough to have one of those exceptions as a teacher)

How many teachers quickly label a child, and write on report cards that the child needs to "apply themselves" more, or concentrate better? How quickly does the parent take the teacher's opinion as gospel, and reprimand the child for daydreaming or not paying attention.

How many of these "adults" bother to check the child's hearing or vision. How many children are dyslexic and this goes undiscovered for years because the adults all assume the child is not trying. How many of these children are bright students that are so bored out of their tree that their daydreams are more exciting than the class.
How many of these children have family problems in their home?

All too often, both the teacher and the parents are all too quick to lay blame on the child.

Have you ever noticed that "famous" people seem to often have siblings that also become famous in their own right? Ann Landers and Dear Abby... Joan and Jackie Collins... John and James Belushi... Emilio Esteves and Charlie Sheen... need I go on?

Perhaps... just perhaps, that could be food for thought? Perhaps the self worth and self confidence that the many, many sets of famous "siblings" might indicate that we learn self worth at home, from our family?

More food for thought. Basic psychology teaches us that the human mind does not visualize a negative. Instead it visualizes the positive action associated with the negative words. Confusing? Here's an example. If someone yelled really, really loudly....

DON'T SLAM THE DOOR!

Most humans would automatically visualize a door slamming.

Now take that concept and apply it to Mommy or Daddy saying "I don't want to see another C on your report card." or.. "Don't fight with your brother." "don't this, don't that..."

What counterproductive ways to talk to our children. Yet it happens every day, all over the world.

How much simpler to say, 'Honey, could you close that door quietly?" ... "I would like you and your sister to find a way to share that toy - or else just put it away for a while" and "I would be really happy if you could turn that C into a B on your next report card. If you could do that for me, I will take you out for a special movie and dinner to celebrate!"

Strange how we humans set our priorities. We have to take a class and pass a test to drive a car to make sure we don't hurt someone. In many places, we have to attend marriage preparation classes before we get married to be sure we understand the committment we are making. In many places, we have to attend pre-natal classes to learn how to deliver a baby... something that WILL happen on it's own, with or without the classes, when the time comes. Just ask any woman who went into labor before her prenatal class finished. Yet... no where is there any "requirement" to take classes to teach us how to raise a child so they grow up with self worth, and self confidence.

> To overcome anything requires courage first,
> I feel. Where are you taught courage?
> But who is there to tell us
> this???????????????????

Here is where we learn it... and who will tell us..

If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise,
he learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness,
he learns justice.

If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance, and friendship,
he learns to find love in the world.
(By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D)

Sorry to make this so darn long. I'll get OFF the soapbox now. *laughing*

As always, just my two cents worth...

Linda Caroll




http://www.lindacaroll.com

Great post, Linda and absolutely right on target!

I'd add if a kid experiences all the positives in your post and is given a set of fair rules and boundaries that are enforced and expanded with time, he or she will learn responsibility, self-discipline and trust.

Bob

I don't think courage really has that much to do
with the whole issue. If they are related, courage
would be feeling the fear and doing it anyways.

But, if you know what you are doing, and have broken it down into small enough bites, courage
is minimalized.

But I'd like to thank the board for all their
insites.

Hi Linda,

Gosh, I agree with you fully!

Thanks also for sharing that poem....

"If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn...." (and the rest....)

When I was growing up, my Mom had a wall-hanging with this poem on it. She hung it on a shelf next to her bed, so she could see it whenever she got up in the morning, and whenever she went to bed at night....

I feel I had a lucky upbringing. The main thing for me was that I knew I was loved unconditionally (this is very important).... And also my parents taught me that I could do or achieve ANYTHING. And I really believed it (and still do)....

All I had to do was put enough effort into it, and I would succeed....

As a result, I have a huge belief in my own abilities.... There's no doubt that it was instilled in me by my parents, and that it's a big factor in my successes in life so far....

I agree that "success" often does run in families, and I think it generally isn't genetic (certainly not fully). I believe there's a big component which comes from a child's upbringing.... Giving a child confidence in his or her own abilities....

I honestly don't recall ever being told I was "bad".... Instead, when I got in trouble, I was told that what I DID was "naughty" -- there's a difference. It wasn't "me" who was "bad," it was my actions....

I also think that most people will believe what you tell them about themselves. If you say they're "bad", they'll believe they're "bad" and act "bad", since that's how they view themselves.... Yet, if you tell them they're "good", they'll act appropriately. Or if you tell them they're "intelligent", "disciplined", and so on, people will begin to behave in accordance with their new self-image....

I like to try to be a positive influence for people in this way. I like to try to look for the positives, and point them out.... For example, Linda, I can say that my impression of you is that you are a very determined and courageous woman, and that I admire those qualities in you. :) And it would be true.... :)

I also liked what you said about courageous people not being completely free of fear. Thanks for the story about you and your grandpapa! :) I never really thought about this issue in that way, but it sounds true to me!

Thanks Linda, I really agree a lot with your post.... I don't have kids myself, but I do feel my parents did a lot of things right when raising my two brothers and me, and what they did was pretty much in accordance with what you wrote.... :)

- Dien