SOWPub Small Business Forums  
 

Click Here to see the latest posts!

Ask any questions related to business / entrepreneurship / money-making / life
or share your success stories (and educational "failures")...

Sign up for the Hidden Business Ideas Letter Free edition, and receive a free report straight to your inbox: "Idea that works in a pandemic: Ordinary housewife makes $50,000 a month in her spare time, using a simple idea - and her driveway..."

NO BLATANT ADS PLEASE
Also, please no insults or personal attacks.
Feel free to link to your web site though at the end of your posts.

Stay up to date! Get email notifications or
get "new thread" feeds here

 

Go Back   SOWPub Small Business Forums > Main Category > SOWPub Business Forum
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

SOWPub Business Forum Seeds of Wisdom Forum

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old July 6, 2009, 10:08 PM
-TW
 
Posts: n/a
Default TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?

I'm not really sure why I'm posting this here. Maybe what I really need is a shrink.

In the last few hours, I've essentially become someone else.

Everything is the opposite of what it was. Down is up and vice versa.

One way to describe it is, sudden onset paranoia -- mainly having to do with the business side of things. I no longer trust anyone.

My belief if 'entrepreneurial stuff' isn't just shaken -- it's been SHATTERED! (again, suddenly)

Everything I trusted + believed in + STRIVED FOR, now seems like a pile of manure -- to be shunned.

What were my "peeps," I now see as more or less a bunch of slick, self-serving hucksters -- or even con artists.

What I once saw as a vast field of possibilities (biz-wise), I now see as a bogus bunch of bubbles + illusions.

Before I trusted EVERYONE -- now I trust NO ONE (biz wise).

The shift happened all within the last few hours -- as the (seeming) result of (yet another) potential customer bailing out of a project... oh, and a flurry of attempts at some other biz projects that failed.

From my "new" point of view, I see that those projects were just fantasies in my mind -- all kept afloat by my own thinking (ONLY) -- in other words, just a 'legend in my own mind.' The rest of the world being totally unaware that I even exist.

What worries me is, this is not like me. I'm usually the "get up and keep going" type of guy. I usually trust EVERYONE and EVERYTHING.

Now the opposite is true.

Am I suddenly recognizing INSANITY (in others) all around me? -- Or was I sane before, and now I've become the insane one? Did I just LEAVE the insane club, or have I just JOINED it?

Is (almost blind) belief in "entrepreneurial stuff" a motivational blessing -- or a POISON?!?

Anyone else experience this sudden mind shift before?

And, if so, did you ever recover -- and how did you recover?

-- TW

PS: I've also lost my sense of humor, suddenly. I can't bring myself to 'rely on the kindness of strangers,' as before. The world looks like a giant self-serving PRISON YARD to me, right now. It went from being a happy place, to being a very dangerous place. It's all I can do to post this message here.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old July 6, 2009, 10:23 PM
Dien Rice Dien Rice is online now
Onwards and upwards!
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,358
Default Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?

Quote:
Originally Posted by -TW View Post
I'm not really sure why I'm posting this here. Maybe what I really need is a shrink.

In the last few hours, I've essentially become someone else.

Everything is the opposite of what it was. Down is up and vice versa.
Hi TW,

All I can say is, practically everyone has "self doubts" every now and then - and even the occasional "crisis"! I certainly have...!

Sometimes they might be a real "wake up" call, and it could be a sign steering you in a new direction... Other times, they might just be the result of frustration. (Or even lack of sleep!) Sometimes it's just the result of a string of bad luck...

This is a good time to have friends. As the saying goes, "No man is an island" (and "no woman is an island" either)!

Recently, it's really dawned on me how important your friends (and even acquaintances) are. True friends support you when you're down. (Of course, among friends I'm also including supportive relatives, spouse, etc.) Make sure you spend time with your friends and acquaintances who are emotionally supportive of you and what you are trying to do.

That's what helps me get through things!

Sometimes it seems like you're in the darkest part of the night, before the dawn breaks...

Best wishes,

Dien
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old July 6, 2009, 10:34 PM
-TW
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?

Thanks Dien.

When I do have a sense of humor, it's a dark one. Your comment reminded me of something Gary Halbert (not his line, I don't think) -- he said... "The darkest hour is just before everything goes pitch black."

Or, as I put it to a friend, "I can see the dark at the end of the tunnel."

Friends are a good way to find support.

Problem is, in this case, I'm not quite sure if my 'friends' will lead me in the correct direction. As I said in my op, my 'friends' all are firm believers in 'entrepreneurial stuff' -- and maybe THAT'S the problem!

Are THEY on the right track -- or are they just 'kool aid' drinkers (deluded people)?

That's the fundamental question.

Is the key to ultimate satisfaction + success to follow the entrepreneurial path? Or is that really the road to hell (financially) in disguise?

What good does it do to get directions from people who live in la-la land? Are they just pulling me back into the bucket?

-- TW
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old July 6, 2009, 11:35 PM
Dien Rice Dien Rice is online now
Onwards and upwards!
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,358
Default Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?

Quote:
Originally Posted by -TW View Post
Friends are a good way to find support.

Problem is, in this case, I'm not quite sure if my 'friends' will lead me in the correct direction. As I said in my op, my 'friends' all are firm believers in 'entrepreneurial stuff' -- and maybe THAT'S the problem!

Are THEY on the right track -- or are they just 'kool aid' drinkers (deluded people)?

That's the fundamental question.

Is the key to ultimate satisfaction + success to follow the entrepreneurial path? Or is that really the road to hell (financially) in disguise?

What good does it do to get directions from people who live in la-la land? Are they just pulling me back into the bucket?
Hi TW,

First, I'll just mention, I'm coming out of a bit of a "dark time" myself... Several things "went wrong" within a short time period. Then... Just yesterday, one thing fixed itself. Something happened that showed me the road to fix one of the things, and I figured out how we'll fix the 3rd thing that went wrong.Today, the last thing will (hopefully) be on the road to being fixed...

(The last thing that went wrong, by the way, is my laptop. My laptop went kaput! Aargh! But... Luckily, I had just backed it up a few days before it did! I hadn't backed it up for months, then thought, it's about time I backed it up on my external hard drive. Thank goodness for that, since it could have been much worse! I'm writing this on an "older", slower laptop... But at least I have all my data on my external hard drive backup! I'm taking my regular laptop in for repairs today...)

As to whether your friends are leading you in the wrong direction... Are they successful entrepreneurial friends? If not, that doesn't mean you should "ditch" them... But, get yourself some additional entrepreneurial friends who have had some success... Their "counsel" may prove itself to be more valuable...

Successful entrepreneurs are all around. Some have had "more" success than others, but successful entrepreneurs are really not that hard to find. They're in your community, they're at seminars and conferences (not only on stage, but also in the audience), they may even be distant relatives or old "long-lost" (ready to be re-found) high school friends, they're probably emailing you stuff (if you're on their mailing list), heck, they're even in this forum...

If you want to know how to find very successful entrepreneurs, get one of Thomas Stanley's books, "Marketing to the Affluent", "Selling to the Affluent", and/or "Networking with the Affluent"... (I have the first two books, but not the third...)

Of course, every relationship has to be "win/win" for it to work...

Cheers,

Dien
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old July 7, 2009, 12:14 AM
Bozo
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?

Quote:
Anyone else experience this sudden mind shift before?
And, if so, did you ever recover -- and how did you recover?

Been there, done that. 1996 I discovered that everything I knew, was wrong.

It's like suddenly coming out into a bright afternoon from a dark theatre. All was fantasy there in the dark, and it was a fun place to be. Most entertaining.

When you come outside it feels other worldly and you have to squint until your eyes adjust to the bright light of reality.

I recovered and can see fine now.

Recovery came from learning two truths.

1. "Expectations are premeditated resentments."

2. "Only play in games that you can win."

Think long on number one. There's a lot to see behind that saying.

Number two takes some thought as well, but you'll find it good advice.

Just speculating on your case here...

You expected somebody to do X and either he didn't do anything, or he did D instead. Now you have resentment.

What that somebody did or did not do caused you harm of some sort, so you came out the loser.

Next time, set yourself up so that no matter what happens when dealing with others you can't lose. No need for expectations, they either perform or not and you don't care which because you can't lose whatever game you're playing.

Recent example of mine. I made an offer of help, in exchange for a future partnership in a project. I am doing the work whether or not the other party performs, so I can't lose anything. I had some expectations of the other party, but I made sure to express them up front. No assumptions, no trust, just a statement of needs.

Like most such deals, like yours, it blew up for unknown reasons. The guy just stopped communicating with me. Who knows why? The bigger question is who cares? I certainly don't, because I only play games I can't lose, and if I have expectations (it's very hard not to have them) I express them up front.

Find somebody to give you a good HUG, and welcome to the shiny side.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old July 7, 2009, 02:22 AM
Sandi Bowman
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?

Hi, TW,

You've had a big disappointment so it is perfectly natural to question anything and everything related to the disappointment. This coping mechanism that you're feeling now is a good sign (even if it doesn't feel like it now) because it means you have the capacity to cope with things and figure it out.

The upside of this coping/depressive syndrome is that, eventually, you will come out on the other side of it with a stronger, better, understanding. It's the LIGHT at the end of the tunnel but remember: you must navigate the dark tunnel to see the light. Stay the course, use your head, friends, any other resources you have, and you will come out much the better for it.

Yes, I've been there, done that. It changed a lot for me...from quitting the Warrior Forum to modifying goals and strategies. It's been tons better for me, personally. A bit painful to discover the illusions but rewarding to also discover the gems among the rubble. Look for your gems, TW. Best wishes for your successful journey to entrepreneurial enlightenment.

Sandi Bowman

P.S. You may find it useful to start an informal journal to record discoveries, thoughts, things to explore etc.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old July 7, 2009, 02:51 AM
Hugh
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?

Hey TW,

Yes, it's happened to me. But there's a quick cure . . .

There are only two operating states in this life: CAUSE and EFFECT. You're always going to be operating in one or the other of these states in life. This is not to say that one or the other is better. Both are necessary to live life, but there needs to be a balance. I'm sure you can think of effects that you have experienced that have been enjoyable (i.e., not negative). But when it becomes overbalanced, and you feel that you are more EFFECT than you are able to be CAUSE, then you can get the idea that being EFFECT is not good (no fun). The solution is to find a way to return yourself to the condition of being CAUSE.

The silly joke of it all is that even when you are operating at EFFECT, you are CAUSING it.

Here's the mechanics of it: When you blame someone or something else for your condition, you are electing them or it CAUSE and yourself EFFECT.

Get it?

It's a choice. Fill in the blanks: ______________ is causing me to feel ______________ (fill in the effect you are experiencing in the second blank). It doesn't matter what you put in the first blank . . . "Joe Blow doing me rotten" or "Green cheese" or whatever. It could be any one of a million-million things. But you only need ONE reason to elect yourself EFFECT, and it doesn't matter what it is. If you believe that "X" is CAUSE and you are the EFFECT of "X", then you have spoken, and so it is.

Ah, but the million dollar question: How do you get yourself out of the condition of being the EFFECT of "X"? Well, by switching over to becoming CAUSE, of course.

Yes, yes, yes . . . but HOW???

It's all about INTENTION and ATTENTION.

While you may or may not be able to control how you feel right at the moment, you certainly can generate an INTENTION to do something about it. Or you can generate an INTENTION to do nothing about it. That's true, isn't it? Again, it's a choice.

So the first step is to WANT to return to the state of CAUSE.

Is this what you want?

You see, like your INTENTIONS, your ATTENTION is something you can control. If returning to a state of being CAUSE is what you want, then this is where you must direct your ATTENTION.

From what you have said, right now your ATTENTION is stuck on something negative. There is a quick cure for this: Direct your attention to things which are NOT negative, and continue doing that until you no longer feel negative (i.e., until your attention is no longer stuck on the negative).

Do this: Go out and take a walk. As you are walking, look around in your environment and find something that is not dangerous and/or not threatening to you. Look at a tree and ask yourself: Is that tree dangerous to me? Is that tree threatening me right now? Keep doing this - - - keep looking around and finding things that are not dangerous or not threatenting to you - - - until you feel better about things. I've used the mere fact of taking a walk and looking at things in the environment to pull myself out of the mud more than a couple of times times. It works.

Here's the thing: If you allow your ATTENTION to be fixed on negative things, you will be stuck at being EFFECT (I'll never recover from this . . . ", "I can't do anything about this . . . " type of thoughts). Remember, it's YOUR attention. Generate an intention to take your attention back from the negative that has swallowed it up. Taking a break from newspapers, TV and other media would be a big step in that direction. Their whole game is putting negative thoughts in your mind and getting you to dwell on "how bad it all is". Don't buy into it. And disassociate from negative people. They are vampires. Get them out of your life.

Hope that helps a little.

---- Hugh
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old July 7, 2009, 08:01 AM
-TW
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: TOTALLY SUDDEN (+ troublesome) mindset shift - anyone else?

Thanks all.

There's a lot to ponder on there. Also, it's good to know I'm not the only one.

I think the overall problem can be sumed up this way:

I thought I could identify 'diseases' and 'cures.' Now I'm not so sure. What once appeared as a disease, appears now as a cure -- and vice versa. It's disheartening + disorienting.

The end of the spectrum I was running towards, now seems like the end of the spectrum to AVOID.

Analogy: I don't know if any of you ever listen to the radio show, "Coast to Coast." It's the overnight show that gets into esp, ufo's and all that tin-foil-hat type stuff. I really don't take the show seriously -- I just listen for amusement sake. Anyhow, they have koo-koo guests (real nutjobs), AND they have totally legit guests (real scientists, etc.) on too. Here's the thing/problem -- the host treats ALL the guests EXACTLY the same way! Luckily, I can tell the difference.

But what if I couldn't? Or worse -- what if the nutjobs seemed legit, and vice versa?

That's where I'm at right now with my sudden mindset shift. I can't distinguish between cure and disease -- and I'm now seeing that BOTH are treated in EXACTLY the same way, so that does NOT provide any clues!!

The Bernie Madoffs of the world PRESENT THEMSELVES in EXACTLY the same way people who can really help you do.

Believing in people +/or ideas, etc. who SAY they are going to help you is not a 'mode' that will lead one in the right direction, in all cases.

Klunkers + con artists + people who truly BELIEVE they can help you (but can't) all APPEAR the same way. The disease LOOKS + ACTS just like a cure -- and vice versa.

Realizing that puts one (at first) at a mind-numbing loss.

-- TW

Last edited by -TW : July 7, 2009 at 08:14 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old July 7, 2009, 01:55 PM
-TW
 
Posts: n/a
Default I'm drowning -- and I can't tell what people are tossing...

I can't tell if what well-meaning people are tossing me are life savers
---- or ANVILS!

Asking the people who are doing the tossing will not serve to determine if they are tossing me life savers, or ANVILS.

The tossers all look THE SAME. Scammers, well-meaning people who don't know what the &*#@&^&(&% they're talking about, and real life savers all look the same to me, suddenly.

The scary thing is, maybe I never could tell the difference.

-- TW
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old July 7, 2009, 03:10 PM
Skip Rosell
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: I'm drowning -- and I can't tell what people are tossing...

Quote:
Originally Posted by -TW View Post
I can't tell if what well-meaning people are tossing me are life savers
---- or ANVILS!

Asking the people who are doing the tossing will not serve to determine if they are tossing me life savers, or ANVILS.

The tossers all look THE SAME. Scammers, well-meaning people who don't know what the &*#@&^&(&% they're talking about, and real life savers all look the same to me, suddenly.

The scary thing is, maybe I never could tell the difference.

-- TW

Hi TW,

Sounds like you are involved in one or more projects that you are trying to make work but are having a hard time making them work.

In one of your posts before you talked about prospects not returning your calls. Now you talk about a prospect bailing out on you. If this is the same project then you have made this project your "baby" and just can't let go because of the time and effort you have already put into it.

Not all "babies" turn out to be great teenagers! Some times we have to let them go. Period. Time to clear the slate and do some soul searching. If you can't trust or know that others are giving you good or bad advise then depend on yourself only at this time. Later when you are thinking better you can use the help of others.

I think from what you wrote that the main problem is business and that is also affecting other parts of your life. I may be way off base here because from reading posts a person can not get the true picture. If I'm off base then use the following as you see fit.... as wisdom or toilet paper.

I'm going to assume that it is the business projects that are the root of your bad thinking right now and suggest a way that works for me.

Trun off the computer for a couple of hours and do the following. Write down on a piece of paper all the things you could do to make money. Don't leave out anything no matter how bright or stupid it sounds right now. Also while making this list include other things that you would like to do. Like lose weight or stop smoking, etc. Keep writing this list until you really have to think for a few minutes before you can come up with any more ideas for your list. Then take a break and then come back to your list. During your break you will most likely think of a few more things. Put them on your list.

You should have at least 50 to 100 or more things on your list now. Here is what you do with the list.

Let's say a few things on your list are:

Write articles
Set up auto-responder for others
Stop smoking
Lose 10 pounds
Go bowling
ETC.

Now that you have your list rate each item on your list 1 to 5 as far as how fast you can get it done, What materials you need, What knowledge you have to get it done. So the list above might look like this with 5 being you have everything you need and 1 being you have very little knowledge or equipment to get it done.

Write Articles: 2 time involved 5 computer 3 Knowledge
Set up auto-responder for others: 5 time involved 5 equipment 5 knowledge
Lose 10 Pounds 5 time involved 2 equipment 5 knowledge

Then you take the ones with the 5's and start with them Think about how to make money with them.

Above is auto-responders and lose 10 pounds are the best to start with.

You could check on websites to see if they use a sign up form to capture name and email. The ones that don't have one offer to set this up for them for a fee.

You could lose 10 pounds by walking so offer to do friends and neighbors lawns for a fee. Get to make money AND lose ten pounds.

You get the idea.

Find what you can do quick and make some money at it. It does not have to be a lot of money right now. It will grow as your thinking gets better. Right now you just want quick successes. After a few successes you will be in a much better mood in all of your life's actions.

This way you are not depending on anyone other then yourself, so just trust yourself. Later on you will be able to see clearly and make better choices.

Best of success,

Skip Rosell
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Other recent posts on the forum...


Seeds of Wisdom Publishing (front page) | Seeds of Wisdom Business forum | Seeds of Wisdom Original Business Forum (Archive) | Hidden Unusual Business Ideas Newsletter | Hotsheet Profits | Persuade via Remote Influence | Affia Band | The Entrepreneur's Hotsheet | The SeedZine (Entrepreneurial Ezine)

Get the report on Harvey Brody's Answers to a Question-Oriented-Person


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:30 PM.


Powered by vBulletin Version 3.6.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.