Diane Von Furstenberg Uses The MAGIC Of THREE Self Referral System

[Glenn]

Thanks Dien,

You won't believe this.

But I just got in and out of a Toyota Dealership without spending any Munny.

It's a Miracle.

Maybe this Experience of Getting Prepared to Be Killed (By a Car Dealer)
Like a Steer at the slaughter-house has already happened to you
but it was New to me.

(EDITORS NOTE - When I was a kid we raised steers to keep the grass down
in our fields. And took them to a local Slaughter-House. The idea was to
make our own Steaks and burgers. But we did the math. Cheaper
to order at the store. My Point is there is a Process the Slaughter-House
Father and Son took the Steers Thru before they killed them. I'll Spare you
the gory details.)

Here's my Referral System Experience.

I just got back -
so I've got all the details in my head.

I - I get a BRIGHT YELLOW Recall notice in the mail. Turns out if you use
your truck a lot AND slam the 1/2 door behind the drivers seat - Your Seat
Belt Bolts MAY Come loose. (RECALL!)

II - Then I'm hauling wood and a BRIGHT Red MESSAGE Flashes up on the dash
board...

"MAINT
REQD"

This had me a bit Rattled.

Maybe something major was about to go wrong.

I could Crash.

Electrical fire. No antifreeze. No oil.

III - Before I could Investigate that "Warning" a NEW and MYSTERIOUS SIGN Flashed up under the Gas Gauge.

Bright Yellow.

Picture a Horseshoe with the open end up.
Jagged Teeth along the bttm
A Big Exclamation Point down the middle of the Horseshoe.

Now
I'm
FREAKING
Out.

So I rush my 2010 Truck to the Dealership.

#1 - I can't find The Service Dept. So I ask a Salesman. (Who is loitering around doing nothing.)

#2 - He says, "Down the hall - take a right - then a left and down the stairs.

#3 - These Clowns Have BANISHED the Service Department to HADES
way - way down in The BASEMENT.

#4 - I get down there. Men and women on both sides of the hall
are hanging out half doors - like horses in stalls. I show a Brunette my Recall
Notice.

#5 - She says, "Oh, we don't take care of that here. You need to see Bridget Upstairs."

#6 - Oh Whooppee. So Back Upstairs we go. And after consulting her Computer
Bridget Informs me I need to go BACK into The Hades-like Basement - and find
Dale. (An older guy with white hair.)

#7 - I Thank Bridget and Hand Her a LOTTO TICKET as a Reward. Then draw
Bridget my Scary DashBoard - Flashing YELLOW Horseshoe
with TEETH Sign.

And she says, "Oh, that means your tires are low on air.
It could be just one. It could be all four. IF one is low that Warning Flashes in the dashboard."

#8 - WHEW. That's a Relief. WOW - (What a SCARY SIGN for such an Unimportant tire problem. REFERRAL SYSTEM PART ONE - Gets You Back to the Dealership.)

I figure my troubles are over and the Flashing Horseshoe and the "MAINT REQD" message are the same thing.

#9 - WRONG - Wrong - I am Wrong again.

#10 - Loretta Shows up and demands my keys. She says it will be faster if
SHE drives and a service guy will pump up my ties and return my truck
to me Later.

I say "No". She insists.

So I say, "OK, but I'm riding along."

#11 - Loretta takes me to Lew - who seems to be one of the Service Managers.

Lew and I go back and forth 3 or 4 times.

"YES - the 2 Dashboard signals are the same.

"NO - They are not.

"YES - They are the same - let us Put air in your tires. And Change Your Oil.

I say, "WAIT - WAIT.

Well.

Turns out the "MAINT REQD" Message comes on every 6 months or 5000 miles
to remind you to Change your oil.

Only the dealer can make it go away.

#12 - I explain to Lew that I use the truck on the farm. I'm about 3000
miles SHORT of the 5000 miles. I'll be back come spring to get the oil
changed whether it needs it or not.

Blatantly ignoring all his computer messages.

#13 - This confuses Lew. So I pull out my RECALL Notice. He Barks at
Loretta, "Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?"

Loretta and I agree - I DIDN'T TELL HER.

#14 - Now Lew wants to shuffle all this off to be done LATER - by someone ELSE
at the same time as my Seatbelt BOLTS GET Replaced.

While Lew and I have a "Discussion" I watch
Loretta Circling my truck with a ClipBoard
Checklist like a Pirhanna Fish
looking for a good place to Take a Bloody Bite.

#15 - One of the Service Tech's comes in. When Blake comes Thru the door
You can see the RELIEF on Lew's face.

He says, "Here. Take these keys and put air in this gentleman's truck tires."

#16 - Lew says, "You can wait in the waiting room, sir."

#17 - I ignore Lew's Directive follow Blake and got into the passenger
seat of my own Truck - again. To ride to the Repair bays.

#18 - After Blake finds out that the low tire pressure is because of the
20 degree weather... He nonetheless - adds 3 lbs of pressure to all 4 tires...

I Thank Him with a LOTTO ticket.

And Blake says something AMAZING. "We've had 7 or 8 other drivers in here
this morning Because of Low Tire Pressure. You aren't the ONLY One."

HOLY COW Batman!

Let's try and count the SCARY Computer Sensor
REFERRAL SYSTEMS that force you to
come to the Dealership - where they
can LOOK for anything they can find
to CHARGE You to Fix.

#1 - Bridget told me there is a sensor on the spare tire too.

#2 - On the Oil Level.

#3 - The Brake oil levels.

#4 - The Transmission oil.

#5 - The coolant and the radiator.

Yikes.

Perhaps the Mad Scientists who installed all this stuff DIDN'T
Have Up-Selling more stuff in mind.

But the DEALERSHIP is sure aware of the Profit Potential.

Anyway.

Because I tipped several people with LOTTO TICKETS. Who gave me
Extra Information. Perhaps Insider Info.

I escaped without having to Pay - THIS TIME.

(But the "MAINT REQD" light is still on.)

Thanks,
Glenn Osborn