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  #61  
Old February 20, 2017, 06:57 PM
Glenn Glenn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,240
Default FLIRT TIPPING - We Meet *Claude*, The Confused Duck

Thanks Gordon,

QUESTION -

What do you do when you forget your LOTTO tickets?

ANSWER -

You Write ***Thank You Notes!***

Like this one...

**************

I accompanied a friend to swap out his bottle of Propane.

We go into the office.

One Big Room - with four Desks. a Woman at each desk.

Cute brunette closest to the front door. And she has a 18 inch tall duck in her cubicle. YELLOW Body - ORANGE Beak - Sunglasses, bow tie, Party hat.

My friend is doing his Propane biz.

So I ASK the Girl, "What is your name?"

Then pull out my pen and 3 by 5 cards and Write a
3 by 5 Card Message.

--------------

MaryAnn,

I LUV Your Duck.

What is it's name?

-----------

MARYANN says in a shy voice, "My Duck Doesn't have a name."

I say, "So would it be OK if I suggest a name?"

Maryann says, "OK."

ME - "He looks like a CLAUDE.

Mary Ann says, "I like that name."

Then I look closer.

ME - In a LOUDER VOICE - "OOOOOPS. Claude the Duck is wearing a party hat that says PRINCESS." Do you think Claude is a switch hitter?"

LAUGHTER from the other women in the room.

MaryAnn BLUSHES.

The girl is REALLY shy and won't look at me. She stares into her computer screen.

ME - "Claude or Claudia. Maybe Ole Claude is a Hermaphrodite. Both sexes at the same time."

The other 3 Women at their desks are SMIRKING.

Darting Glances at MaryAnn and me.

The Atmosphere in the room was VERY Quiet and Subdued when we came thru
the front door.

But LOTS of SMILING Faces when we left to get our propane tank filled up.

Except MaryAnn - her face was RED.

Betcha She Gets RAZZED about her Hermaphrodite Duck CLAUDE.

Thanks,
Glenn
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  #62  
Old February 21, 2017, 01:37 PM
Glenn Glenn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,240
Default Donald Trump 1.00 Bill Tipping Attracts Restaurant Manager

Thanks Dien,

Totally new Restaurant.

Inside it's dark. Bar on left. Indirect mood lighting.

Lots of wood, expensive looking carpet.

Pretty Waitresses - in black
and
Handsome young men - all in black

I'm thinking, "Uh oh. This could be expensive."

The Matre-d- comes up to us and asks, "Do you want to sit HIGH or LOW?

WHAT the heck?

Thinking fast - I say, "Low". (High must mean we'd sit on one of those stools
at the bar.)

Sure enough - we are escorted to a "Low" table Surrounded by well dressed
folks sipping wine and beer.

Our Waiter Ted approaches. Hands us a menu.

I Hold up a Fake 50.00 Bill with DONALD TRUMPS smiling face on it
next to a real 1.00 bill. Ask, "Which do you want as a Tip? Donald or a REAL
dollar."

Ted took the 1.00

I Added up the Cheapest Meal
we could possibly order from their Menu. (Half of which is wine and beer.)

10.00 - Soup of the day is a cup of Chili
15.00 for an Appetizer
25.00 for the cheapest Fish dish
8.00 for Dessert
=====
=====
58.00 PLUS TIP

Yikes.

I Quickly explain - To Ted - "I am a vegetarian."

And order:

3.00 - baked potato - side dish
3.00 Broccoli - side
3.00 Coleslaw - side
===
===
9.00 PLUS Tip (Much better)

First I tipped TED Before the meal.

2nd - I tipped Mike - who brought butter for my baked potato on a
weird looking plate. (Mike Chose the 1.00 over THE DONALD too.)

3rd - I tipped Ted when he came back with our food.

Surprise Result:

THE MANAGER Rushed over to our table.

Apologized.

Explained that they have a SPECIAL MENU - Vegetarian Plate and Vegetarian Lasagna - that is NOT on the usual menu - because it is so seldom asked for.

Very Entertaining.

By Surprising two Waiters with My-CHOOSE-YOUR-TIP
Before-You-Bring-the-food - Golden Rule Tipping Strategy.

We attracted the Attention of the BOSS with only 3 bucks.

Thanks,
Glenn
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  #63  
Old February 21, 2017, 03:35 PM
ron lafuddy
 
Posts: n/a
Default Trump gets their attention!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glenn View Post
Thanks Dien,

Totally new Restaurant.

Inside it's dark. Bar on left. Indirect mood lighting.

Lots of wood, expensive looking carpet.

Pretty Waitresses - in black
and
Handsome young men - all in black

I'm thinking, "Uh oh. This could be expensive."

The Matre-d- comes up to us and asks, "Do you want to sit HIGH or LOW?

WHAT the heck?

Thinking fast - I say, "Low". (High must mean we'd sit on one of those stools
at the bar.)

Sure enough - we are escorted to a "Low" table Surrounded by well dressed
folks sipping wine and beer.

Our Waiter Ted approaches. Hands us a menu.

I Hold up a Fake 50.00 Bill with DONALD TRUMPS smiling face on it
next to a real 1.00 bill. Ask, "Which do you want as a Tip? Donald or a REAL
dollar."

Ted took the 1.00

I Added up the Cheapest Meal
we could possibly order from their Menu. (Half of which is wine and beer.)

10.00 - Soup of the day is a cup of Chili
15.00 for an Appetizer
25.00 for the cheapest Fish dish
8.00 for Dessert
=====
=====
58.00 PLUS TIP

Yikes.

I Quickly explain - To Ted - "I am a vegetarian."

And order:

3.00 - baked potato - side dish
3.00 Broccoli - side
3.00 Coleslaw - side
===
===
9.00 PLUS Tip (Much better)

First I tipped TED Before the meal.

2nd - I tipped Mike - who brought butter for my baked potato on a
weird looking plate. (Mike Chose the 1.00 over THE DONALD too.)

3rd - I tipped Ted when he came back with our food.

Surprise Result:

THE MANAGER Rushed over to our table.

Apologized.

Explained that they have a SPECIAL MENU - Vegetarian Plate and Vegetarian Lasagna - that is NOT on the usual menu - because it is so seldom asked for.

Very Entertaining.

By Surprising two Waiters with My-CHOOSE-YOUR-TIP
Before-You-Bring-the-food - Golden Rule Tipping Strategy.

We attracted the Attention of the BOSS with only 3 bucks.

Thanks,
Glenn

Glenn, I always appreciate your posts.

I like the Trump dollar examples, and have used the same idea myself, when I was introduced to it by the "Ambassador of Enthusiasm", the late, great, Ira M. Hayes.

Back then, Reagan was president and it was early in his administration. People liked him or they didn't, but he could bring out a smile in just about anyone.

Not so with Trump.

I've never witnessed a country more divided, or angry.

Just before Christmas last year, I was standing in line at a grocery store waiting to check out.

I heard some squabbling behind me.

I turned around to see a see a guy with a Trump hat, "getting it on" with a couple of other guys, who were not happy about his hat. Just then I was hit from behind and shoved out of the way, by someone eager to jump into the action.

I left my basket full of groceries and exited quickly, passing an excited store manager. He was on the phone with the police.

Trump excites people. No doubt about it. At my age, I can't handle that much excitement.

Ron
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  #64  
Old February 21, 2017, 06:29 PM
Glenn Glenn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,240
Default Hey Ron-I Bought A *MAKE AMERICA GREAT, AGAIN* - Hat

I turned around to see a see a guy with a Trump hat, getting it on with a couple of other guys, who were not happy about his hat. Just then I was hit in from behind and shoved out of the way, by someone eager to jump into the action.

Thanks Ron,

When the weather warms up I plan to wear my RED
MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN - Baseball cap.

Unlike a "Trump Hat"

I don't think I will have trouble with many Americans. Especially
out here in the boondocks where I live.

The nearest town to me is "BORING, MD."

All of the farmers and small town folks want America to be Great.

Brilliant of Donald Trump to choose a Slogan that is almost Impossible to
Dis-agree with.

AND to Shove the knife in - During the Campaign - with that word, "AGAIN."

If I Have any Memorable HAT ADVENTURES
I'll share them.

Thanks,
Glenn
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  #65  
Old February 22, 2017, 03:47 PM
Glenn Glenn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,240
Default My Waitress Calls --BEHEADING-- ***The Good Stuff***

Thanks Ron,

At a New Restaurant I asked my Waitress, Annette, "Do you mind if I tip
you Before you bring my food?"

Annette - "I don't mind. Nobody has ever done that before."

Big Screen TV's seem to be in
more and more Restaurants here in Maryland.

***I saw an Ad for Maybelline Eyelashes. Lashes So Big You Could FLY with
those babies.

***A Gladiator Contest - Called "Cooking Redemption." Where restaurant
chefs are TORTURED. The sound was off. But by their facial Expressions
these cooks would have PREFERRED getting eaten by lions.

***Then a NEW Cooking SHOW Announcement:

"Kids Baking Championship"

Annette and I were friendly after some 1.00 Bill Tipping. So I told her, "I used
to do a lot of baking for dessert. But my two Brothers were Tough critics."

"What Do YOU Enjoy doing when you're not waitressing?"

Annette said, "I Enjoy my EMT Job at the Fire Department."

ME - "Oh boy. I've always wanted to Slide down one of those Fire Poles!"

Annette Laughed. "IT IS FUN."

ME - "I know an EMT in Atlanta, GA who sees lots of arms and Legs torn off.
And people BEHEADED in car Accidents."

Annette - "Oh, he gets the GOOD STUFF!"

We discussed the fact that NOTHING bothers her - so far.

Then I asked, "Well, since nothing really Bad happens here. What's the
WEIRDEST thing you've seen - so far?

Annette - "A woman driving home after work - on a straight, flat road. Told us
that the road Kinked. And when she turned she went thru a fence. Ended up
in a horse pasture.

"When I got there - her car was Surrounded by horses. Looking in the
car windows at her. We had to call the farm owner to clear the horses out -
before we could get her out of the car."

Thanks,
Glenn
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  #66  
Old February 26, 2017, 05:46 PM
Glenn Glenn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,240
Default Flirt Tipping w/*Yellow Ducky* in Grocery Store Gets WEIRD

Thanks Dien,

The Grocery Store where I shop no longer allows "Tipping."
Or so the Cashiers inform me when I try to give them a LOTTO ticket.

What to do.

Hmmm.

Improvise.

One guy ahead of me as I approach the check out register. Little brunette
girl with no name tag.

I pull a Yellow Rubber SQUEEK Duck and a LED Key-Chain-Laser Lite
out of my pocket.

Then Ask, "What is Your Name?

"Anna."

ME - "Ok, Anna. Are You Feeling Adventurous tonight?"

Anna - "Sure."

ME - I flash the LED in her eyes - whilst Simultaneously SQUEAKING
my little Yellow Ducky - LOUDLY.

ME - "Which one would you like as a TIP?"

Anna grabs the Duck.

SQUEAK

Squeak

SQUEAK.

The Manager comes over.

Another Cashier shows up. Looks over Anna's shoulder.

A Cashier with a Nose and Lip Ring appears.

One

Two

Three

Four

Five young women are standing behind Anna - Looking at ME.

Suave and Debonair - I say, "What?"

Anna says, "Oh, this isn't about you. All these girls want to steal my baby.
Want to see his pictures? He's 4 months old."

The Girls ooh and ahh and crowd around.

Anna shows her photos to them and then me.

"Here's Edward last night.

"And then this morning.

"And here he is yesterday.

"On the floor."

"In his crib."

YIKES, she went on and on.

ME - Light Bulb! "Oh, that's why you chose the Squeaky Duck."

Anna - "Yes, Edward will LOVE IT. Thank you, Sir."

Whew.

6 Girls to 1 of me.

Had me worried there for a moment.

Thanks,
Glenn
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  #67  
Old February 28, 2017, 10:02 PM
Glenn Glenn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,240
Default Donald Ducky Flirt Tipping Gets Us INSTANT Service at The Bank

Thanks Gordon,

Today I went to the Bank with a friend who said her Identity was stolen.

Her account and card were frozen.

So we rush to the bank and since I had been told by Bank Managers
Previously - not to Tip the Bank Tellers with Cash - I brought some
Donald Trump Moolah.

Same old story:

Hurry Up and Wait.

My friend Teresa was told, "You'll have to wait. The Bank Manager is talking to
another customer."

But I walked up to the bank tellers and handed each girl a 50.00 Bill
with DONALD TRUMPS Smiling face on it.

Said, "Have you seen the New Donald Trump Munny? This is for you."

And Suddenly NO-MORE-WAITING!

Teresa was asked a bunch of questions. Quickly discovered that her identity
was not stolen. But her credit card was hacked.

They cancelled her current card. Issued her a new card.
And we Were Done!

So I pulled two Little Yellow Ducky's out of my pocket.

Handed them to the Bank Tellers and told them, "Here is your Thank you
Reward for Helping us."

And to the sound of

QUACK

SQUEAK

QUACK and laughter we walked out.

Thanks,
Glenn
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  #68  
Old February 28, 2017, 11:16 PM
Dien Rice Dien Rice is online now
Onwards and upwards!
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,358
Default So many ways to "flirt tip!" :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glenn View Post
But I walked up to the bank tellers and handed each girl a 50.00 Bill
with DONALD TRUMPS Smiling face on it.

Said, "Have you seen the New Donald Trump Munny? This is for you."

And Suddenly NO-MORE-WAITING!

Teresa was asked a bunch of questions. Quickly discovered that her identity
was not stolen. But her credit card was hacked.

They cancelled her current card. Issued her a new card.
And we Were Done!

So I pulled two Little Yellow Ducky's out of my pocket.

Handed them to the Bank Tellers and told them, "Here is your Thank you
Reward for Helping us."

And to the sound of

QUACK

SQUEAK

QUACK and laughter we walked out.

Thanks,
Glenn
Hi Glenn,

I like how it seems you can "flirt tip" with ANYTHING positive!

Dollar bills, scratch-it lottery tickets, Donald Trump $50 bills, little yellow ducks, flying cows...!

Is it possible to "flirt tip" electronically - e.g., by email?

Enjoying all I've learned from you, Glenn!

Best wishes,

Dien
__________________
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  #69  
Old March 1, 2017, 12:29 PM
Glenn Glenn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,240
Default Sent 20 Yellow Duckeys to Multi-Millionaire Who Flipped 900 Houses

Hi Glenn,

I like how it seems you can "flirt tip" with ANYTHING positive!

Dollar bills, scratch-it lottery tickets, Donald Trump $50 bills, little yellow ducks, flying cows...!

Is it possible to "flirt tip" electronically - e.g., by email?

Enjoying all I've learned from you, Glenn!

Best wishes,

Dien

========
========
Thanks Dien,

Good question.

I Flirt Tip constantly by email And by using my F-r-e-e 2-day shipping
Amazon account.
-------
-------
Email First - Go to your PayPal account.

Send a Thank you note
plus a Valuable Link to a book or Report or article to your top 1% clients.

Cost?

1.00 each

The Subject line says, "You have Money!"

==========
==========
Amazon Prime lets me
send out Little Yellow Duckies
and Flying Elephants - 2 Day - F-r-e-e Shipping.

What does The 60 year old Multi-M*illionaire Gal I sent
20 Little Yellow Duckies to -at the giant cost of 7 bucks - Say?

"Thank you so much for my rubber duckies I absolutely love them."

Thanks,
Glenn

P.S. - And - Of Course - I challenged her to use her "Little Yellow Duckies"
to PASS My GOLDEN RULE TEST at www.NLPBrainBuzz.com

Or in a s*ale or a Speech or to Tip Waiters and clerks.

And email me - [email protected] - what happens.

P.P.S. - Bored Multi-M*illionaires LOVE a Challenge. If it's fun and they make
munny while doing it.

Last edited by Dien Rice : March 1, 2017 at 11:48 PM.
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  #70  
Old March 2, 2017, 12:23 AM
Glenn Glenn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,240
Default Proof Big Restaurants Don't Train Their Managers or Waiters

Thanks Dien,

I won't mention the name of this Restaurant.

But this is not the 1st time
a Big Restaurant Chain has Skipped telling us about
the Discounts and Special Offers they Offer As Standard Practice.

We all sit down and order at one of the big Fast Food Pizza
restaurant chains.

Drinks.

The meal.

Refills.

Dessert.

I Flirt Tip Our Waitress with a TRUMP DOLLAR and a Yellow Ducky.

She says NOTHING.

(EDITORS NOTE - Perhaps her tip is higher without the 10% Discount?)

We go to pay at the Cash Register.

I Flirt tip the Manager a LED KeyChain Light.

Show Jennie how to turn it on and lock it.

Suddenly she Tells the Senior Citizens in our Group they get
10% off their meals - ANY TIME they come in.

And F-r-e-e Coffee.

GOOD GRIEF!

What did we just Discover?

This chain of Restaurants DOES NOT Tell their older customers
about the senior citizen discount UNLESS YOU Flirt tip the manager!

Is this Bad Training?
or
Corporate Policy?

Probably makes the Company Additional MILLIONS in profits each year.

Thanks,
Glenn
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