Oxytocin

For me, when that "confidence" spigot turned on, my life changed forever.

Me too. I was the quiet guy that never spoke unless spoken to. Who wants to hear what I have to say, was my guide.

I used to care what people thought of me, and like Richard says, that will show up in your voice and your whole demeanor. That's especially true in any kind of sales presentation.

Then I realized that not only do people not care about you, they won't remember what you said to them for more than a few seconds. That was liberating for me, and meant that I could blurt out just about anything and nobody would care.

Most people are hungry for conversation, which means that you can approach anybody and ask them anything, and then stand there and listen to them prattle on as long as you can stand it. "Oh really?", "How did you handle that?" and keep shining the spotlight on them, and they'll think you're the greatest person they ever met. When it's over, you'll know all about how their last three cats died, and they'll know absolutely nothing about you except that you're the nicest guy they ever met and a wonderful conversationalist.

A really good salesperson doesn't sell. He allows the customer to buy when he's ready, from a person he likes and trusts.

My advice is to stop caring about the outcome of any encounter. Buy if you want, leave if you don't, I don't care. Meanwhile, I'll keep you talking about yourself.

Being confident in every situation is the most fun I've ever had.

[MMacGillivray]

Many, many years ago I read Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends....." and this thread has developed into something reminiscent of the book. Which brings me to this link I found on the BBC website -

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-15642578

about living the Carnegie way. Apparently the book has been updated for the digital age ....

M

Hi guys. Man Dennis that was quite a spin on being able to take failures and turn them into making relationships and building confidence. You stumbled on to something worthwhile there. It's sort of how comedians create hit gimmick by making fun of themselves or things related to them. Self-confidence arrive in different ways for different people. At one time I too was very quiet which most people now never believed, but one day I actually discovered I had the gift of gab when I was just called on in an impromptu moment to give a welcome and introduction speech in church. I just got up for the first time started speaking and never stopped. But that was my catalyst, just being thrown on the spot cold turkey. Now it serves me well in the success of my small business and giving business advice to others.

Here's the latest research on oxytocin.
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/strangers-s...201420401.html