Dien Rice
October 7, 2022, 02:43 PM
When I was a young man, I learned a neat approach that has served me well...
I got it from the book "Intimate Connections" by psychiatrist David D. Burns... A self-help book on dating and attracting the opposite sex (in an ethical way)...
("Intimate Connections" was his second book. He's better known for his first book, "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" - which is about using cognitive therapy to help with depression...)
Anyhow, the main tip I remember from "Intimate Connections" was being able to find something you can genuinely compliment about someone...
Or... the power of honest flattery...
And I found that - if you look hard enough - there's always something you can genuinely compliment...
It could be how neat they dress. It could be their sense of humor. It could be their intelligence. It could be their creativity. It could be their tenacity. It could be their kind-heartedness. It could be their honesty. It could be their confidence. It could be their modesty. It could be their artistic ability. It could be their passion...
It could be something very specific. Like a choice of tie... Or the color coordination of their outfit... (Just be cautious, nowadays, if you are complimenting the opposite sex, not to encroach into areas that might be considered too "intimate"...)
There's always something... and it has to be genuine...
Firstly, if you do this, is it flattery?
Perhaps - but... if it's true, it's true!
People love receiving genuine compliments...
The other thing is - I'm personally a very bad liar. So if I tried to "fake compliment" - for me it wouldn't work. We'd both know what I was saying was fake!
Why is a genuine compliment so powerful?
It opens doors... Not only in your love life (as David D. Burns was writing about), but in life and business too...
There's today's tip-of-the-day... Something that has served me well in life... :)
Start practicing. The next person you meet, try to find something about them you can honestly compliment (without making them feel uncomfortable)...
That's how I started. When you keep doing it on a regular basis, it starts to become second nature... :)
Best wishes,
Dien
I got it from the book "Intimate Connections" by psychiatrist David D. Burns... A self-help book on dating and attracting the opposite sex (in an ethical way)...
("Intimate Connections" was his second book. He's better known for his first book, "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" - which is about using cognitive therapy to help with depression...)
Anyhow, the main tip I remember from "Intimate Connections" was being able to find something you can genuinely compliment about someone...
Or... the power of honest flattery...
And I found that - if you look hard enough - there's always something you can genuinely compliment...
It could be how neat they dress. It could be their sense of humor. It could be their intelligence. It could be their creativity. It could be their tenacity. It could be their kind-heartedness. It could be their honesty. It could be their confidence. It could be their modesty. It could be their artistic ability. It could be their passion...
It could be something very specific. Like a choice of tie... Or the color coordination of their outfit... (Just be cautious, nowadays, if you are complimenting the opposite sex, not to encroach into areas that might be considered too "intimate"...)
There's always something... and it has to be genuine...
Firstly, if you do this, is it flattery?
Perhaps - but... if it's true, it's true!
People love receiving genuine compliments...
The other thing is - I'm personally a very bad liar. So if I tried to "fake compliment" - for me it wouldn't work. We'd both know what I was saying was fake!
Why is a genuine compliment so powerful?
It opens doors... Not only in your love life (as David D. Burns was writing about), but in life and business too...
There's today's tip-of-the-day... Something that has served me well in life... :)
Start practicing. The next person you meet, try to find something about them you can honestly compliment (without making them feel uncomfortable)...
That's how I started. When you keep doing it on a regular basis, it starts to become second nature... :)
Best wishes,
Dien
