John David Bradshaw
February 18, 2003, 03:56 AM
I received this by email...author unknown.
THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all
summer long, building his house and laying up
supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs
and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter
so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all
summer long, building his house and laying up
supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs
and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a
press conference and demands to know why the ant
should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures
of the shivering grasshopper next to a video
of the ant in his comfortable home with a table
filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth,
this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper,
and everybody cries when they sing "It's Not
Easy Being Green."
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front
of the ant's house where the news stations film
the group singing "We shall overcome." Jesse then
has the group kneel down to pray to God for the
grasshopper's sake.
Al Gore exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings
that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the
grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike
on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity
and Anti-Grasshopper Act", retroactive to the
beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
failing to hire a proportionate number of green
bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive
taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the
grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant,
and the case is tried before a panel of federal
judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-
parent welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing
up the last bits of the ant's food while the
government house he is in, which just happens to
be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because
he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related
incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken
over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the
once peaceful neighborhood.
Do I have a witness? Can I hear an amen from
somebody?
No grasshoppers allowed in our neck of the woods... (http://www.i-65.com/bpr)
THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all
summer long, building his house and laying up
supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs
and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter
so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all
summer long, building his house and laying up
supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs
and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a
press conference and demands to know why the ant
should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures
of the shivering grasshopper next to a video
of the ant in his comfortable home with a table
filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth,
this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper,
and everybody cries when they sing "It's Not
Easy Being Green."
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front
of the ant's house where the news stations film
the group singing "We shall overcome." Jesse then
has the group kneel down to pray to God for the
grasshopper's sake.
Al Gore exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings
that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the
grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike
on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity
and Anti-Grasshopper Act", retroactive to the
beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
failing to hire a proportionate number of green
bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive
taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the
grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant,
and the case is tried before a panel of federal
judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-
parent welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing
up the last bits of the ant's food while the
government house he is in, which just happens to
be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because
he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related
incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken
over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the
once peaceful neighborhood.
Do I have a witness? Can I hear an amen from
somebody?
No grasshoppers allowed in our neck of the woods... (http://www.i-65.com/bpr)
