Sandi Bowman
August 31, 2007, 03:55 PM
Well, Todd, I read it all except the MLM stuff at the end and I liked most of it. The inspirational part is the best.
Some of the biblical quotes etc are a bit over done, IMHO and lose some of their effectiveness as a result. You kind of shifted gears rather abruptly from the inspirational to the biblical and it threw me momentarily. You might want to work on your transitions a bit.
Over all, your writing is pretty good but you will need an editor to help you with correct usage since there are some mis-used terms in the text.
The collage is interesting if one has read the pieces related to them but the last one (lower right corner) leaves one wondering what it's really about. Pretty well done otherwise.
Hope this helps.
Sandi Bowman
Some of the biblical quotes etc are a bit over done, IMHO and lose some of their effectiveness as a result. You kind of shifted gears rather abruptly from the inspirational to the biblical and it threw me momentarily. You might want to work on your transitions a bit.
Over all, your writing is pretty good but you will need an editor to help you with correct usage since there are some mis-used terms in the text.
The collage is interesting if one has read the pieces related to them but the last one (lower right corner) leaves one wondering what it's really about. Pretty well done otherwise.
Hope this helps.
Sandi Bowman
