GordonJ
April 22, 2016, 10:32 AM
Hi Gordon,
That's definitely some great advice...
When I was in 9th grade or so, I came across an old book my Dad owned. Dog-eared as it was, I picked it up and read it...
It was Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people."
I put the book into practice.
Carnegie recommends that you find out about what other people are interested in... What are their hobbies? What things do they like to do and discuss?
Don't talk about what you are interested in. Talk about what they are interested in!
And blimey, the thing works!
I found I could talk to almost anybody... I just found out what they were interested in. Then, I would find an intersection where we both had an interest. And voila! Good conversation results...
There were a small number of people where I couldn't find a mutual interest. But they were a minority...
So, let's say I meet a stranger at a party. Through my questions, I find out that the stranger is interested in growing orchids, fixing old cars, and professional tennis...
Tennis! Ding ding... we have a match (since I follow professional tennis too). We could talk about the tennis world! And... things would go well... :)
But my point is... While it's not the same...
There does seem to be some similarity in the principle of what you're saying, and what Dale Carnegie said...
It's a powerful principle.
Thanks for sharing it!
Best wishes,
Dien
P.S. As a bit of trivia, Dale Carnegie's daughter still makes a mint from "How to win friends and influence people," which her father wrote 80 years ago (1936)...
In high school, I was taking business courses. One was a class on SELLING, and one week the teacher had us "invest" in How to Win Friends and Influence People.
I protested. (Before reading).
"You shouldn't have to WIN friends, they are not prizes you get through manipulation and influence." (Although that is exactly how you do).
So, we had some heated discussions in class. But, I actually didn't want these secrets shared. I had, at that time, been studying salesmanship (influence) for 7 years. And the school was my laboratory.
Just like Elmer Wheeler went into the stores to TEST his sentences which would increase sales, I practiced on fellow students, experimenting with phrases, and all that sort of thing.
Bottom line, although I did protest too much, the lessons of HTWFIP, and getting into the
bubble of preoccupation
or inside their mind, or walking in their shoes...
gave great insight to understanding human motivation and behavior. I regard this work as a MUST own and must revisit on a yearly basis.
Thanks Dien, for the reminder.
Gordon
That's definitely some great advice...
When I was in 9th grade or so, I came across an old book my Dad owned. Dog-eared as it was, I picked it up and read it...
It was Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people."
I put the book into practice.
Carnegie recommends that you find out about what other people are interested in... What are their hobbies? What things do they like to do and discuss?
Don't talk about what you are interested in. Talk about what they are interested in!
And blimey, the thing works!
I found I could talk to almost anybody... I just found out what they were interested in. Then, I would find an intersection where we both had an interest. And voila! Good conversation results...
There were a small number of people where I couldn't find a mutual interest. But they were a minority...
So, let's say I meet a stranger at a party. Through my questions, I find out that the stranger is interested in growing orchids, fixing old cars, and professional tennis...
Tennis! Ding ding... we have a match (since I follow professional tennis too). We could talk about the tennis world! And... things would go well... :)
But my point is... While it's not the same...
There does seem to be some similarity in the principle of what you're saying, and what Dale Carnegie said...
It's a powerful principle.
Thanks for sharing it!
Best wishes,
Dien
P.S. As a bit of trivia, Dale Carnegie's daughter still makes a mint from "How to win friends and influence people," which her father wrote 80 years ago (1936)...
In high school, I was taking business courses. One was a class on SELLING, and one week the teacher had us "invest" in How to Win Friends and Influence People.
I protested. (Before reading).
"You shouldn't have to WIN friends, they are not prizes you get through manipulation and influence." (Although that is exactly how you do).
So, we had some heated discussions in class. But, I actually didn't want these secrets shared. I had, at that time, been studying salesmanship (influence) for 7 years. And the school was my laboratory.
Just like Elmer Wheeler went into the stores to TEST his sentences which would increase sales, I practiced on fellow students, experimenting with phrases, and all that sort of thing.
Bottom line, although I did protest too much, the lessons of HTWFIP, and getting into the
bubble of preoccupation
or inside their mind, or walking in their shoes...
gave great insight to understanding human motivation and behavior. I regard this work as a MUST own and must revisit on a yearly basis.
Thanks Dien, for the reminder.
Gordon
