Humor? Maybe...
 

My big Covid-19 joke:

A guy walks into a bar.

The bartender sez:

"Where's the other guy?"


That's all folks.

Gordon

Re: Humor? Maybe...
 

I think I finally get it! (I'm sometimes a bit sloooow...) :)

Cheers, :)

Dien "Slow but Nice" Rice ;)

10 minutes with Steven Wright on Youtube...
 

And this is what I came up with.

Speaking of Mr. Wright, the only time I saw him laugh was on Late Late show with Craig Ferguson, one of the sharpest wits in comedy.

Stay nice sir, it is better than being funny (sez the guy who has it all...he.he)

Gordon

Dunno If This is "Funny" Gordon But I Sell w/Silly POETRY
 

Thanks Gordon,

I Too Like Steven Write.

Glenn

My Humor does not always translate well.

But I find I can Tell STORIES
inside of a poem.

THAT WORKS.
========
========
Thanks Roger,

In A Sports Bar Last Night,
I Waved, Pointed & SMILED At Barmaid,
She Smiled Back Like an LED LIGHT,
And I Knew I Had it Made.

She Grabbed a Waitress,
Sent Tracy over to my Table,
The Blonde Seductress,
Made a Big Fuss,
I Pulled Her Back like she was on a Cable.

The Wave, The Rasputin Rectangle,
Put Her Emotions in a Tangle.
I Smiled, She Smiled Too,
She Started Acting Goofy Yoo-Hoo,

Almost Drunk,
In a Dazed Funk,
She Brought Me Food,
That Belonged to Another Dude.

Which is One Way to Tell,
When Your FLIRT FOG is Going Well,
Last Week a Cook I Lotto Tipped,
Got Confused and Flipped.

Set a Take-Out Dinner For Two,
In a big white Plastic Bag,
Then Back to the Kitchen she Flew,
I Didn't have a Red Flag.

So I Zapped a Passing Waiter,
And Said, "Sir, Could You Use The Escalator,
To Take This food Back to The Kitchen,
This Bag is full of Chicken,
And one of the Young Men,

Zoomed over and Took it Away,
Brought me three Huge Plates,
Oh Happy Day,
And The Bill Was at Discounted Rates.

Thanks,
Glenn
=========
=========
Dunno how "Funny" this is.

Maybe call it "ODD."

But I find it Easy to Write Silly Poems.

After Each Poem I send Roger.

He Buys something.

Roger Just passed 2 Grand in E-book and mp3 Book Purchases.

Among them...

"Rasputin Rectangle"

And

at 2 am This Morning He bought, The "Flirt Bomb Smile"

Which I read about in a book.

The #1 Salesman in a Construction niche
was using a TRIPLE - 3 Part Smile - to talk his way from Receptionist to CEO.

So

We Flirt Tested it.

Then Wrote it up.

Thanks,
Glenn

How "funny" can help sell (and bring in the bux)...
 

Hi Gordon and Glenn,

I remember reading many years ago, advice to NEVER include humor in your marketing!

So, I followed that advice... for a very long time... my marketing was as dull as watching paint dry...

(Okay, maybe not that dull...)

Only recently have I changed my view for a better one... :)

I think they gave that advice because if your humor falls flat, or if someone is offended, it could lose you a sale... So you lose money, rather than make it...

But, on the other hand...

One of Robert Cialdini's principles of persuasion is...

Liking...

And people generally like those who make them laugh!

So, it follows that... if you can make them laugh, they're probably more likely to buy!

So, that's my view now... No more "dull boy" Dien... ;)

Anonymous Client Buys Me a 9 Foot Tall TEDDY BEAR
 

Thanks Dien/Gordon,

A couple days ago
I
ASKED
My
Ezine Readers to BUY ME a Giant Teddy Bear.

And This Is What Happened.

I Think this is FUN.

And Funny.

(EDITORS NOTE - Plus SERIOUS. This is MY Way of Adapting Gary Halberts PINK CADDY Headline, Reason Why, Bullet***HI- SPEED Copywriting TESTING Strategy.*** Without Painting my car PINK!)

People will run over to meet My PINK BEAR.

SAME as they ran over to See His HOT PINK CAR.

(So I can Ask them, "Which headline do You Like?" Questions.)

(I am Testing This Article to Total Stranger at Medium.com - Thus The Link)

Supposed to Open for Anyone. (Without paying the medium fee of 5 bucks a month.
So if It Does Not - TELL ME.

I will cut and Paste the Article in here instead.

Glenn

https://rentamentor-56426.medium.com...r-f07dcacd90b5

This approach brightens the world up...!
 

Hi Glenn,

I love your ways of achieving instant rapport! (I think it's ingenious! :) )

(By the way, if you like Glenn's posts, you really ought to get yourself on his email list... His are among my favorites...!)

I'm just reading through Elmer Leterman's book, "The Sale Begins when the Customer says No" (originally published in 1953) - which Gordon recommended many years ago... And only now am I getting around to seriously reading it...

I wish I had started earlier!

Elmer Leterman's approach is the closest I've ever seen to what you do... But of course, you're still a notch above... (No "flirt testing" with Elmer Leterman!)

I find your stuff super-inspiring... Thanks Glenn!

We need more of this in the world... It brightens the world up, and also helps put food on the table, too...!

Best wishes,

Dien

Dapper meets Daffy. Both share a secret of the Psychic Power Gaze...
 

Dien,

I'm happy for you, you have found Elmer 2, Elmer 1 being Wheeler. They changed my life. Now, as to Robert Collier, best known in marketing circles as the guy who wrote The RC Letters Book, one of the best on tested remote direct selling principles.

But he wrote a lot more than the Secret of the Ages too. He was important to me because he was the INTERSECTION of the business world and the Woo-Woo metaphysical world too. I have read and at one time owned all of his work. In the San Francisco Metaphysical Library his collection was one of the most read.

ONE of his businesses was PUBLISHING, and see, he crossed the bridge between the two worlds of mind/action. His work was some of the most practical psychology/thought/action books out there. He APPLIED what he taught, and that was always an attraction for me.

I left out a secret in Psychic Power Gaze (well, maybe a couple) but both Glenn and Elmer use the contact strategy, Elmer through his dapper appearance and custom made clothes, with those big pockets for always having a little gift to give (interesting little things) and Glenn with things from Big Red Noses, to lights, to big pink bunnies. First impressions are made.

And both guys knew/know, how to utilize the attention getting moment, to bypass the RAS, lower defenses and implant, suggest or in my case PROJECT the idea straight into their brains.

If you will revisit SPIDERS, SNAKES and MICE, you will see how and why the Elmers' had such a big influence on my life.

And many people forget or don't know Wheeler's book was TESTED Sentences that Sell.

TESTED. Like I did on those porches Saturday morning selling flowers door to door. TESTED like Wheeler did in those big stores he consulted with. TESTED like Glenn Osborn does and so generously shares here with us.

But all the TESTING is against the deep background of knowledge of human behavior and of the mind and how it works. Elmer Wheeler came up with ways which worked and until Robert Cialdini came along, not a lot of thought as to the Why (from the business communities) or how to apply it.

Elmer Leterman set himself apart, through a NETWORK of people who liked him and after a decade of gift giving for no reason, for remembering people and getting to be present when they were with him....payed off in spades because he was one of the best ever at selling.

As an aside, at the WF there is a discussion, superficial as always, but at least it generates some activity, on why people quit. Those of you SowPubbers with at least a SQ1 awareness have seen the 7 exits on the POA, the reasons why people quit.

At the WF, the question was raised as way to detect if future employees will quit or stay with it, and that guy is doomed because the answer he was looking for and found, isn't anywhere close to the real reasons why people quit.

I thank you Dien for finding out about Elmer TOO and when you put the pieces of the puzzle all together on the kitchen table, and look at what you have, you will have a dazzling AH HA moment, I guarantee it.

Gordon

Very few people ever had this book by Robert Collier, I DID.
 

Speaking of lost work.

Robert Collier had a course, then a book...it was: How to Make Money at Home in Spare Time by Mail. I first saw a copy at KRISTEE products, in Akron, OH.

It is actually where Seeds of Wisdom comes from, as RC wrote in his book, and it was a theme he used at much of his work.

Plant seeds. Lesson six in the course was all about the back end of selling by mail, including upsells, cross sells and maintaining customer lists...which was not an easy chore in the 1930s and 40s. It was a chore, albeit, a profitable one.

Funny thing. All those guys, who 20 years later came up with the concept, all of them probably had Colliers MAIL order book in hand. We think of Joe Karbo, and Ben Suarez, Melvin Powers, Hubert Simon, Bud Weckesser, Jerry Buchanan and Harvey Brody and their spawns: Dan Kennedy, Jay Abraham and Gary Halbert and all the rest...

Collier came decades before any of them had any success at all.

And for the most part, he was more of a Spiritual leader than a business one and the great body of his work reflects that.

See, somewhere in the 1950s, ideas of success became more and more about materialism. A new middle class with hopes, dreams, ambition and aspirations arose.

This is when we saw a boom in the get RICH quick, or GET RICH at all, and for the decades since, the materialistic view of success has been the prominent projection, especially toward young men.

Big houses, cars, boats, all that = success. It became about wealth, money and what you had...not what you did. Today, that is reflected in young people wanting to become INFLUENCERS, the rock stars of today and many teens think they are one viral video away from having Pew Pew Die Die type success. This is even encouraged by their parents.

The recent college entry scandal only shone a little light on the idea, and that idea is the wealthy want to keep the wealth and one way to insure that is by getting your kids into certain "success" colleges, so they can make connections. That is what it is all about.

Getting rich, having things, was NEVER a part of Robert Collier's philosophy, although he created wealth, it was never just about that alone.

I think today, there is a need for a resurgence into the ideas behind our modern view of what wealth and success is.

Being able to buy a Maserati and actually needing to buy one might be the difference between night and day in the real (ethereal) world we live in.

Although Robert Collier wrote about gaining material success via thoughts and control of desires, he also demonstrated the DOING, the passion for what we do is every bit as important as the results we get from the doing.

I know it has been republished, but my copy was a real treasure as was my original edition of Secret of the Ages, both lost in the great flood of my life thanks to greedy A-holes in my city.

How to make money at home, by EMAIL, or remote means...his book would serve as a great template to follow today...long before anyone uttered a word about launches, funnels or email sequences.

Gordon

Pink Teddy Bear Poem Test of A Robert Cialdini Book Concept
 

Thanks Dien,

Thanks.

A Customer bought me a Big Pink Teddy Bear so I Put The Bear to Work.
And Wrote this Poem.

When you carry a Pink Bear,
Over your head,
To the Mailbox People Stare,
1st Time in years my neighbor Said,
“What are you doing Over There?”

Then using my new Wonder Wand,
Doing Laundry By Hand,
Watched by a Pink Bear,
Sitting in a Chair,
Isn’t A Normal Affair.

The Neighbors Eyes,
Were big as Apple Pies,
When I walked Over,
Thru the lawn Clover.

Held up a big blue plastic Stick,
He got quite a Kick,
Out Of My Story,
But It went rather Poorly.
Until I showed him The Guts,
That lets me wash 1 pair of Pants,
When our electric power goes Nuts,
Then added How a client in France,
Bought me a Teddy Bear,
With Hot Pink Hair.

So If this happens at my House,
When I am quiet as a Mouse,
What can I Expect,
When I am more Direct,
Sit the Pink Bear,
Down in a Restaurant Chair,
Will my Waiter Genuflect?

Glenn Osborn
Teddy Bear Psychic-Poet (Teddy Bears do not talk so OBVIOUSLY I have to Use ESP.)

Giant PINK Teddy Bear Experiment by Mad Scientist
 

Thanks Gordon,

I Read Your "Door to Door As a Kid" FLOWER SALES Story - a while ago.

My Dad Had me Selling Vegetables Dr to Dr at the same Age.

I Just Watched a Dan Kennedy KEYNOTE.

First Thing Dan said was to SELL PEOPLE More of What they are ALREADY Buying.

YOU - Women Already Had Flowers in the House. Or Growing in Yard.

ME - Women with a Paycheck on Friday - Are About to Go Buy MORE Food. Which is why we Sold Veggies on Friday.

=========
=========
THAT SAID.

Because of the PANDEMIC.
AND
Because the Country Road outside my house was Just Resurfaced.

Hundreds of folks on 5000.00 Bicycles are peddling by LOOKING
for ENTERTAINMENT (While they exercise) in the Country.

And

Antique Cars and Porche Roadsters and TESLA
Electric Car Drivers ALSO go by. (Some at 100 mph - Most at 30 mph)

ALSO out looking for Entertainment.

So The Sight of a GIANT PINK Teddy Bear
Sitting in a Chair,
Watching me Do Laundry By Hand,
While I Stand,
Behind a White Bucket might Garner a STARE,

OR Force Driver to STOP RIGHT THERE.

****************
****************
Howdy,

Because We Have Found Hidden Psychological Concepts in the Marketing of a Bunch of Self Made Billionaires We’ve Become a Sort of “Mad Scientist” of Testing.

For Example:

In His Best Selling book, “Influence” — Robert Cialdini tells a Story of how HE Tested The Psychological Concept behind the New York Times Best Seller Book Selling Strategy.

CONCEPT IS — People are Lazy. So if they SEE Your Book In the Top 10 on The NYTimes Best Seller List — they BUY it. Figuring that since LOTS of folks bought it ALREADY it must be good.

***
***
Mad Scientist Cialdini — Put some of his students on the Median Strip on a Busy Road.

Tested One Kid Looking up. NO RESULTS.
Two Looking up in the air. NADA.
Three Looking up. Cars Slowed Down and a couple Stopped.
A GROUP of Students Looking up — STOPPED TRAFFIC!

Total — Complete GRID-LOCK.
***
***
MAD SCIENTIST GLENN — Wanted to Duplicate this Experiment. But Without Using Any Students.

So We Called Cialdini on the Phone and Asked Questions.
One of the ideas Robert Shared was a Way to Get Cars to Stop. Just in case you needed help and had a Flat Tire.

We Tested.
It Worked SOME of the time.

Then we Stumbled over INFO in a New Book about The Mad Russian RASPUTIN.

And how 400 Women Gathered outside his house Every Morning. Because they could Trim his hair and nails. Sell them as Religious Relics.

Rasputin Had a System of POINTING to Pick Two Women Out of 400 to Pray With. Rasputins idea of “Prayer” often Ended in Sex.

But RASPUTIN’s POINTING System (OPENED MY EYES) What He DID is Very Similar to that Used by a Dozen of our Billionaire Mentors.

In Print (J.K. Rowling) —
Audio (Steve Jobs) and
Video (Richard Branson Virgin Airlines.)

EUREKA!

Combined Lots of Face to Face tests with Dozens of Examples from our Billionaire Mentors — And Created a New mp3 Audio Book called:

“RASPUTIN RECTANGLE — How Rasputin & Billionaires Use The Same Strategy to Get Prospects to OBEY Directions.”

Suddenly I Met a Multi-Millionaire Mentor, Jackie, Who was selling her MLM Health Products with a GIANT PINK TEDDY BEAR.

Jackie told me, “I invite Prospects to Lunch. They meet me and My BEAR. The PINK Bear is in a CHAIR. Eating Lunch There. While People Stare. Folks have so much FUN they sign up Just To Stay NEAR (Me) .”

I Thought, “That DOES Sound Like Fun.”

So I ASKED my Customer List to "BUY ME A GIANT Teddy Bear."

Long Story Short.

Some RASCAL anonymously Bought me a 9 Foot Tall Bear. I made some Frantic Phone Calls. Dicovered a 9 foot bear would Not Fit in my car. The 6 foot Bear wouldn’t Fit in a Restaurant Seat.

So I Persuaded them to Send me a Giant 4 foot Tall PINK TEDDY BEAR Instead of the 9 foot Monster. And am Trying to Refund the REST of the Dinero to The Mr Anonymous Bear Buyer.

Not Knowing what I Would Need I proceeded to Take Some PINK BEAR PHOTOS.

PHOTO — Teddy Bear in a Chair — Getting the Mail.
PHOTO — Teddy Bear Next to my Container Garden.
PHOTO — Teddy Bear Looking at my Rain Barrel.
PHOTO — Teddy Bear in a Chair Watching me do Some Laundry BY HAND. Using a Plastic “Wonder-Wand” and Water in a 5 Gallon Bucket.

===========
CLICK to See
PINK BEAR In Action -

http://glennosborn.com/pinkteddybear.php
===========

PICTURE THIS!

I — I am 25 Yards from the road.
II — Bobbing Up And Down With My Water Wand in a White Bucket.
III — Watched By a Huge PINK TEDDY BEAR in a Chair.
IV — My Neighbor across the Street and I wave at Each other. But Seldom Speak. And he NEVER Yells over at me.

But The Combo of my BOPPING Up and Down. While a PINK BEAR Watches — Made him SO Curious he yelled…

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE?”

Pretty Cool, right?

NEXT TEST is Me Near the Road. Teddy Bear in a Chair. “Wonder-Wand-in Hand. Bobbing up and down over a 5 Gallon Bucket.

WILL
DRIVERS
STOP?

Dunno. Maybe.

IF THIS WORKS.

It means I can PULL CARS over without needing 10 Students to Look Up in The Sky!

And IF I can Get The Drivers of Cars to PULL over and Talk to me. All kinds of Fun Possibilities open up.

Grocery Stores.
Wal-Mart Lines.
Home Depot and Office Depot.
Sports Bars and Restaurants.
Drive Thru Where The Teddy Bear Orders.

OK.

So Here is a YouTube (Box Opening) video with the most hits.
The Exact same “Laundry Wand” I got cheap at Amazon. (She probably got for Free Cuz She has so many viewers.)

But I just wring out my Blue Jeans and Hang ’Em outside under the porch to dry. Do not need the Electric Spin-Dryer the girl uses in her Double wide Trailer.

I simply do not wanna use my washer and dryer on ONE PAIR OF PANTS.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLy2E7GvCvw

Thanks,
Glenn Osborn
Millionaire Mastermind Marketing Association
Glenn Osborn

Thanks for sharing your tests. And by the way...
 

I was once a "mascot" (and later my kid also made moolah doing it)...but the best traffic stopper I had was: a 6'6" tall Rabbit carrying a magician in a hat. It stopped traffic, got us in the paper (Akron Beacon) and on TV...we gave away animal balloons to all the kids.

It was for the Grand Opening of a Magic/Game/Card store (Spellbinders)...also, along with the balloon, we offered a free pack of trading cards too. It was a great success.

Gordon

PS. You've given me a great idea for new project, need to get a big Tiger to carry in a backpack. Thanks Glenn.

Where Do I go to Find a BackPack to Fit a Teddy Bear?
 

Thanks Gordon,

Great idea.

I should get a BackPack too. (Not sure where to shop for a BackPack. Or a WABBIT to go in the BackPack. I've never owned a Backpack.)

Your TIGER IDEA Triggered a WABBIT IDEA.

Put a backpack on my PINK Teddy Bear.

And Stick a "Little Wascally WABBIT" inside the Backpack.

And Test THAT in Drive Thru Restaurant Lines.

Thanks,
Glenn

P.S. - For Readers who Think Gordon and I are CRAZY.

A Question.

How Long does it take You to Get a Millionaire Biz Owner on The Phone?

A Week?

Two Weeks. Longer?

ME?

2 to 10 Minutes.

I Might FEDX the Prospect a Big JAR of M&M's
With My Biz Card Taped to the bottom with the words, "Email Glenn at [email protected] - for a free Refill.)

OR

Mail the Prospect a Big Pink Teddy Bear.

Then Call and Ask The Receptionist.

"Did The (M&M or PINK BEAR - THANK YOU REWARD) I sent Your Boss Arrive Yet?"

THE
NEXT
WORDS
I
HEAR - YELLED across the office?

"HEY BOSS. I've got the Guy Who Sent The PINK TEDDY BEAR on the Phone."

AND
YOU
CAN
HEAR "the boss" Smiling over the phone!

Re: Where Do I go to Find a BackPack to Fit a Teddy Bear?
 

Thanks Glenn,

As usual you are helping me remember many of the little things I've done over the years to get attention, so I could get booked to do shows.

It all started with me when I met a magician in Memphis who sent out about 20 packages that contained a top hat with a rabbit holding a fan of cards that showed the magician doing a different trick on each card. The packages were so successful, that the magician was offered a very nice job with an ad agency that he promptly snapped up.

That led to me doing wild things to get bookings and ultimately writing my book for magicians, "Outrageous Marketing For Magicians."

But, by far, the best thing I have seen that works, is being kind to people. Aye Jaye's book on "The Golden Rule of Schmoozing" was very helpful.

Using your Lotto tipping has been effective for me as well.

Thanks for what you share !

Millard

Re: Where Do I go to Find a BackPack to Fit a Teddy Bear?
 

Glenn,

How about a front baby carrier? Put a little blue bear inside it, (test colors) and I think it could stop em dead in their tracks. Add a little pacifier or bottle, and there you go.

Love your ideas, let us know what happens next, OK?

Gordon

PS I'll be testing the scratch off lottery ticket ala Gary Halbert one dollar bill this month for a new service.

Thanks Gordon - Blue Bear with Pacifier is Better than The WABBIT
 

Thanks Gordon,

With so much FEAR everywhere
it takes a LOT More to get Rapport.

I just wrote an Ezine about a new Face Mask.

300 Bucks.

Replaceable Hepa Filter and Fan, LED Lights, Speakers so people can HEAR you thru the mask.

HONEYWELL is making it.

The Director for new products I saw said they have opened 5 new plants and 4 more in Europe to make Face Masks.

A Billion Dollar International company is Betting The FACE MASK is
PERMANENT.

And going After The Top 5% who want a Permanent, Designer, SAFE and Convenient MASK.

Will-i-am - the inventor, got so many questions on planes and where ever he went in his Music Biz - He KNEW he had a winner.

Glenn