The Game & Lifestyle Epiphany

[Ankesh]

Sometime back, I read the book "The Game" by Neil Strauss. It was pretty good actually - quite entertaining.

The book is about: Pickup Artists (PUA). About how Neil Strauss - a geek who didn't look that good - became a master pickup artist and could pick up any beautiful girl.

Some of the tactics PUA use are very similar to direct marketing. For eg: just like AIDA (Attention - Interest Desire - Action), the PUAs also have a formula: FMAC (Find - Meet - Attract - Close).

Then there is another similar idea: of making the person qualify herself. For eg: PUAs will only approach a group. And won't pay attention to the hottest girl - unless she qualifies herself. And shows some interest.

PUAs use the contrarian approach. And follow the rule: do what no one else does. For eg: they will never praise a good looking person on her looks - because everyone does that. They will never approach a person who is alone - because everyone else approaches them first.

PUAs use a lot of NLP techniques of mirroring and choose the "right" words to close. Many of them learn entire scripts and use them word-to-word.

All PUAs work on improving 6 of their characteristics too:

1. Confidence. Many of them take improv classes. And will have goals like: approach a 1000 women in 1 month.

2. Smile.

3. Well groomed. You've got to dress smartly. And dress to stand out. They call it the peacock theory. Wear something flashy so that its easy for people to approach you and start conversations. (Reminds me of Glenn Osborne's chain ties.)

The author - Neil Strauss's before and after picture:
http://theseductionbible.com/images/...and-after1.jpg

4. Sense of humour.

5. Connecting with people. Not only women, but connecting with everyone.
http://www.attractionexplained.com/m...e=socialcircle

6. Being seen as social center of the room.

Marketers can learn quite a bit from them.

Anyways, the first half of the book is about how Neil Strauss became the best PUA out there. But he has an epiphany during his birthday.

His buddies throw a party for him on his birthday. And he doesn't have to work the room at all that night. He is the center of the room. And as a result, he gets a lot more girls hitting on him that night without any trying from his side.

The girl he ends up with asks him the next day if he is someone famous?

Neil Strauss has become a master PUA. He can charm any girl. But he has to approach the girl. He has to "engage" her. Except when its his birthday and people are wishing him every 2 minutes.

And then there is someone like Hugh Hefner. Old. Many people look much better than him and have more money than him too. But yet, girls are attracted to him. He has what - 4 or 5 girlfriends at one time?!

Hugh Hefner has created a "lifestyle" where he doesn't have to engage anyone.

The 2nd half of the book goes on to tell us how Neil Strauss started "Project Hollywood" to create a Hefner type lifestyle for himself. (And how it got dysfunctional because of a power struggle.)

Disclosure: I read the book without realizing the true depth and benefits of the lifestyle epiphany. It came back to me because of the recent posts made by Gordon, TW, Erik and Don.

Gordon teaches us about: getting your feet wet and start engaging people. Excellent advice. But maybe there is a better way - of creating a lifestyle and setting up social proofs so that people approach us and engage us rather than us going to them?

Comparison between Harvey Brody and Ben Suarez.

I don't know all the tricks Harvey uses to find products and opportunities. But it seems like he finds it via various means and then engages the person and makes the deal.

On the other hand, there is Ben Suarez. He also does a little bit of scouting. But he writes a book "7 Steps of Freedom" - the book positions himself as the authority. And gives instructions to people on how they can approach SCI to market their products.

Harvey has to go and scout the market and engage people. Ben has people approach him and engage him.

So: how do you become Hefners of your industries? Maybe we could discuss it here... what goes into creating a magnetic lifestyle?

[GordonJ]

Originally Posted by Ankesh

Comparison between Harvey Brody and Ben Suarez.

I don't know all the tricks Harvey uses to find products and opportunities. But it seems like he finds it via various means and then engages the person and makes the deal.

On the other hand, there is Ben Suarez. He also does a little bit of scouting. But he writes a book "7 Steps of Freedom" - the book positions himself as the authority. And gives instructions to people on how they can approach SCI to market their products.

Harvey has to go and scout the market and engage people. Ben has people approach him and engage him.

So: how do you become Hefners of your industries? Maybe we could discuss it here... what goes into creating a magnetic lifestyle?

Ankesh,

I love the thread, the idea...let's discuss it more. BUT, let me make a slight correction as to your perceptions...

after 54 years in the business, Harvey Brody has to beat off suitors with a stick...(staying with the Hugh Hefner thing here)...

They are lined up outside his "mansion" hoping to get into "bed" with him...he answers the door in his "pajamas"...Asks a few questions...then either invites them in or sends them packing.

Harvey does not have to "go out and scout the market"...he is like a Spielberg...who has ideas and scripts thrown at him while he's eating breakfast...

I think HE is the perfect example of the point you are making.

You are accurate about SCI and Ben Suarez, there is a whole pile of products in one room that people have sent in trying to get him to market.

NOW let me tell you the "inside" secret. The REASON both Ben and Harvey are like "Hugh" in your story, that is, they have people coming to them...is because of what they offer:...in a word:

DISTRIBUTION.

OK, I'll come back to this.

Even though it has been 20+ years, long before Ben ever wrote a word to establish himself as an expert, Harvey Brody was selling, for the time, expensive COURSES, and 99 dollar books. In fact, in one of Ben's earliest books, he does a "consult" with 4 wannabe Entrepreneurs, and one of them asks Ben why a certain "Harvey Brody" can get 100 bux for his book and Ben only charges 20.

And NO one (as Frank Kern points out) can escape the concept of "you get what you pay for", it is a difficult, if not impossible concept to overcome...the idea, if something costs MORE, it must be better. (AND a great marketing strategy too).

Here are a few of the people who attended Harvey Brody's seminars and/or classes or did business with him:

Gary Halbert, Ben Suarez, Jay Abraham, Dan Kennedy, Joe Karbo, Joe Sugarman, Howard Ruff, Bud Weckesser...and the list goes on and on.

My point is, that even though Ben "established" himself as an expert via his books...Mr. Brody WAS and IS an established expert that the "upper echelon" of today's marketers know about and have learned from.

He's just not that interested in doing any "self-promotion" because that comes with it's own price tag...and he's a very happy camper, and I think probably does less and makes more than most of these guys combined.

OK. I've probably overstated my case on that one.

But let's discuss your premise. I LOVE the idea of "them" coming to you.

I'll pick this up in a new post, OK.

Gordon Jay Alexander

[GordonJ]

Ankesh has given us a great idea to work with and discuss.

The idea is (and correct me if I'm wrong Ankesh) is, instead of constantly "prospecting" for business...

is to set up a "lifestyle" that is magnetic. A lifestyle business where people are attracted to you, want to come to you and bring their ideas, concepts and business.

Is this right Ankesh? If so, then let's proceed to discuss it.

The reason the top Hollywood producers have people coming to them is because they have the ability to get the product produced, but more importantly, DISTRIBUTED. I'm somewhat at a loss with the Hugh Hefner analogy here, other than to say that these women who throw themselves at Hugh or Neil, are like the roadies and bangers of rock stars...they sleep with them because they want to be with someone "famous"? (I'll leave that alone from here in, OK?)

In business, no matter how good the idea, or the product...IF you can't get it distributed, it is worthless.

And that stands for an IDEA, as in TW not being able to get his dozen ideas "distributed" to the right people and profit from it...

All the way to the GIANTS, like Kraft, Procter & Gamble, COKE...when introducing a new product. They might get the product on shelves, but, take NEW Coke for example, it was not "distributed" to the buyers (in this case the product sucked).

The point is. IF you have the ability to HELP businesses with this MAJOR problem, I think you can establish the lifestyle of them coming to you.

Your thoughts?

Gordon Jay Alexander

Ankesh + I have had this discussion at least once before.

It can get quite heated.

Imo, here are the 3 "B"s to avoid at all costs (because they are myths)...

"B"e a magnet.

"B"uild a better mousetrap and the wolrd will beat a path to your door.

"B"uilt it and they will come.

Who is a bigger magnet than McDonald's? Yet they advertise. Why?

Because if they were to stop advertising, they would go out of business.

Why?

Because: "The initial spark that leads to the vast majority of transactions emanates from the marketER, not the marketEE."

The main purpose of the McDonald's ads is not to impart knowledge about McDonald's -- you already know everything there is to know about McDonald's. The purpose of the ads is to BUG YOU. If they stop BUGGING you, you stop going there.

Take Halbert's Coat of Arms letter. How many of those sales were from people who were already looking for a coat of arms? Almost NONE, I'd guess. That means, if he had gone the 'magnet' route (set up SEO + pay per click + website, etc. -- for instance), he would have a FRACTION of the sales he DID get via using the OUTGOING ("pushy") route. In other words, he would have had NO SUCCESS, and no one in the world would know his name now.

There IS some value in being a 'magnet,' yes. But, from what I see, it doesn't do what you think it's gonna do -- ie: let you 'coast.'

Even Wal-Mart advertises. I'm assuming, because they NEED to.

-- TW

The other factor that is in play is industry marketing specifics.

McDonald's, Walmart & etc. are offering products to the general public. Since the general public is always aging and new consumers are coming into play, it's mandatory that they keep advertising. They do not rely on the loyalty factor.

Products that Harvey Brody has a toll position on do not demand the same regimented marketing approaches. He is not marketing to the consumer but to an industry that knows who has control and is required to be loyal. It will be that industry's responsibility to market and offer the product(s) to the general public.

So just in this example, you have two completely different dynamics in play.

It certainly is an alluring idea! I become a magnet, and my customers become iron filings! I do nothing, and my magnetic 'power' DRAWS them to me. I relax in my hammock, and the phone rings off the hook. Aaahhh.

Almost all so-called magnetic marketing 'systems' I've seen, including Kennedy's, offer that same dream. Testimonials like, "I can't believe it - customers were coming in from NOWHERE! TONS of them!"

Here's the problem... All of those testimonials are about STEP 2 of the 'system.' What they leave out is Step 1.

Step 1 is (ALWAYS) -- BUG your potential customers *** A LOT ***. REPEATEDLY.

OOPS! Sorry. Did we forget to mention that?!?

In Kennedy's case, Step 1 is: Send out ZILLIONS of direct mail pieces.

Step 2 is "The phone rings off the hook." -- But that is Step TWO, not Step 1. There is NOTHING 'magnetic' about that system. It is NOT 'the customers come to you!!!' -- It is (just plain old) YOU go to the customers.

Unfortunately, it's really no different than the ancient WILLIE LOWMAN approach. The only difference is -- with the Kennedy plan, etc. -- you're using the mail, not in-person or the phone. The benefit is, YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THE REJECTION FIRST-HAND!

But make no mistake, the rejection IS there. It's just that the rejection is: people ignoring or throwing away the letters -- instead of hanging up on you or slamming the door in your face.

Yes, it's a more 'pleasant' form of rejection. You can pretend it isn't there. You can convince yourself that Step 2 is really Step 1.

But it sin't.

I still say, the fatal mistake being made here is believing that the group called "My potential customers" is the EXACT SAME GROUP as the group called, "People who are already looking for what I offer."

That is almost never the case.

If Halbert had believed that, he never would have crafted his letter, or sent any out. The marketer GOAL is to CHANGE (yes, CHANGE!) the marketEEs from being a potential customer to being a customer -- whether that potential customer was already looking for that product/service -- OR NOT!

The vast majority of GH's *customers* were NOT already looking for what he was offering!!! Read that again -- it is profound.

So, being a 'magnet' would not have helped him at all.

Knowing that *instinctively* (as GH did) is the best way of not falling for the alluring 'magnet' myth. ----- imo.

-- TW

I only picked Wal-Mart + McDonald's because those are examples everyone knows.

I think the same arguements can be made about all biz's -- big + small... niche + general public.

The two parts to every (successful) duck. The visible part -- floating calmly, magnanimously on the water (what could be called the front counter).

Then there's the feet UNDER the water -- furiously paddling like hell to stop from going over the waterfall (what could be called the back room).

I say that's the way it is -- and should be. It's dangerous to believe you can be a duck who has the top part without having to have the bottom part (too). Dangerous because it is an untruth. There's a very good chance you'll go over the waterfall.

-- TW

[GordonJ]

Originally Posted by -TW

Because if they were to stop advertising, they would go out of business.



Even Wal-Mart advertises. I'm assuming, because they NEED to.

-- TW

TW,

It could be a splitting of hairs on some issues, I won't argue with your premise...however, there are companies out there who really don't need to advertise, because of their "position" in the market.

Here is one of my favorites:

JIFFY MIX. Found in probably every supermarket and grocery store in
America. The blue box hasn't changed in years. They are the "low priced" product in the category. And they maintain that position because they DON'T ADVERTISE.

And, it is a HIGH quality product too. Most of their mixes (OPINION: some need improvement)...compete with the big name brands at 40 to 50% higher cost.

Their corn muffin mix is superior to most on the market, I use it all the time.

It is a great company, has been around forever...chances are EVERYONE who shops and bakes has seen their products.

They simply pass the "marketing" costs savings on to the consumer. Super company with high employee retention, been around forever and they don't advertise or "market" their products in the "traditional" ways.

Again, I'm not totally disagreeing with what you say, there is some accuracy in what you posted...but there are exceptions too.

HOW do we get a "magnetic position" in the marketplace like JIFFY MIX? It is having a clear understanding of your customers and what they want.

Gordon Jay Alexander

Their 'ad' could be the price label on the shelf under their product and/or the way the box looks compared to the others.

A store's 'ad' could be their physical location (in a high-traffic area).

An 'ad' can be anything that a potential customer sees or experiences, whether they want to -- OR NOT!

Like a billboard -- or a biz's storefront (which is a billbaord, basically).

It is any 'message' that is SENT by the marketER -- and RECEIVED by the marketEE ---- not the other way around!

And that includes the (comparison) price labels on supermarket shelves.

It's grow or die.

Jiffy Mix's growth depends on *changing* the minds of their potential customers (active marketing), not just fielding incoming orders (being a 'magnet'). To do that takes an OUTGOING effort, such as advertising -- in one form or another. Their pricing IS a form of them 'stating their case' in an active way --- imo.

It's not just about having a difference in the marketplace that is 'magnetic.' It's about making sure that difference gets SEEN, UNDERSTOOD, and ACTED UPON by one's potential customers!

If a company has a USP in the forest, will anyone hear it? Does the 'sound' even 'exist?'

-- TW

[GordonJ]

gja