As Julie says, Be who you love

This is in response to Julie's post....

> Its interesting, I bumped into a woman from
> church last week in the mall and spoke about
> my work. She asked about how I go about
> coaching people to clarify their purpose.
> She asked me, "Do you do personality
> tests, gift assessments? And then they know
> exactly what they are supposed to DO?"

> The answer for her was the same as it is
> here. It is not so much as DOING what you
> love, it is BEING who you love....returning
> to your own authentic self, and then DO what
> is an expression of that.

Julie, I really liked your answer.... I felt your answer was very deep in meaning.

I think we should do what makes us happy to do, but as Gordon has often pointed out, many of us don't even know what that is. However, happiness isn't as tied to wealth as we might like to think it is....

To me, the main thing money can bring is more options for what you can do.... For example, there are a number of things you can do if you have a certain amount than if you don't. However, you can still be happy with less. I've seen people who live in villages in Indonesia, in houses with dirt floors, who seemed to be happy.

Maybe part of it was that the neighbors of these villagers also all lived the same way, so there was no jealousy. There was no one close by who had an opulent lifestyle, everyone else had a dirt floor too. When you bring jealousy into it, perhaps that makes us feel more strongly that we need more money to be happier....

I felt I learned a lot from something I read by Ross Perot.... Sorry to bring him up again, but here's what he wrote.... This is based on the notes that he originally wrote privately to his son, as a graduation present.

Ross Perot wrote....

I can clearly remember August of 1957, when my wife and I drove into Dallas with everything we owned in the trunk of our car. We have been very fortunate since that time. I can honestly report to you, however, that we are not one bit happier as a result of financial success. The births of our five children brought us far more additional happiness than any of the unique experiences we have had as a result of business success.

In summary, based on my experiences and observations of others, I have concluded that if a couple has problems when their income is modest, and later achieve financial success, the success only compounds their problems instead of eliminates them. Success causes the marriage to break apart, because with success come many complications, placing additional stress on an already faulty relationship.

If you question what I am saying, I can prove my point simply by suggesting that you walk through a very expensive resort, catering to people who are wealthy. Look at their faces. Watch them. How many of them are having as much fun as you and your family have? I'll never forget my first visit to such a place. I concluded from my observations that happiness and financial success are unrelated.

(Ross Perot, "My Life and the Principles of Success," p. 110-111.)

That's why I think what Julie says is so important, since I believe it's who you are which makes you happy, rather than what you have. As long as your basic needs are met, happiness is an internal thing....

And who you are can also help you with success too.... To me, the main thing wealth brings is more options.

> I know SO many people who think their
> purpose is all about DOING this and DOING
> that or WEARING this role of RUNNING this
> show or that, when if they would really dig
> into who they are at their CORE....the
> questions would just burst forth.

> Base what you DO on who you ARE.....spin it
> together with your core values, your vision
> for the planet and your spiritual self and
> viola! What you DO will come naturally.....

> At least for me it has.

Julie, that's very wise advice.... Thank you for sharing it!

I think happiness is number one in anyone's life, and what you said I believe is the true key to happiness, and to build a success which is based on being happy too....

I don't think it is "real" success if you are not "happy" by being "successful." For me, part of the definition of "success" includes being happy, and like Julie says, part of that is being true to your core values.... :)

> That is all my anecdotal evidence for the
> night...what I do know is that fewer and
> fewer workers are confident of their future
> in corporate America. People are working
> more hours with less job satisfaction
> overall. My favorite book with the exact
> figures is not at my desk! Must be on my
> nightstand...sorry about not having
> specifics.

Julie, it's interesting that you mention this.... My other brother, James Rice, along with a colleague of his, did a recent study of this regarding work conditions in Australia. (James is a sociologist, working at the Social Policy Research Centre associated with the University of New South Wales, in Sydney.)

Essentially, they found that in Australia, those who are working tend to be working longer and more "unsociable" hours, that is, in the evenings and on weekends, compared to 20 years ago.... They don't have any data on job satisfaction, but I'd expect there would probably be less satisfaction when you are working worse hours.... (You can read an article based on their work here....)

Julie, if you have more data on this in the United States, it would be great.... This is a trend in the working population....

Thanks Julie, your post was fantastic, it really got to the core of the keys to happiness and true success.... :)

I'm grateful.... :)

Dien


5 Passions (Julie's web site)