Marketing: The Little Things

“In 1814, we took a little trip
Along with Colonel Jackson, down the mighty Mississip
Took a little bacon and we took a little beans
Went to meet the British in the town of New Orleans.”

“The Battle of New Orleans”
sung by Johnny Horton (my apologies, Johnny, I’m sure the right words are better than the ones I remember)

That was a popular song for teenaged boys when I was in high school, a few years before anyone heard of Vietnam.

For years, New Orleans has been on Cheryl’s list of places to visit. She’s read magazine articles about “Breakfast at Brennan’s,” supposedly a unique dining experience.

This past weekend, we found out that it is.

Question: How do I know when I’m in over my head?
Answer: When I look up and notice our breakfast waiter is wearing a tuxedo.

When I was handed the wine list (at BREAKFAST, for goodness’ sake!), I thought of Mike Rodman.

The eggs were very good, but they were still just poached eggs. Ten bucks an egg seems a bit high. And then there was the Bananas Foster. And then the crepes Fitzgerald. And then … well, you get the idea.

Thank God for plastic.

Cheryl highly recommends Brennan’s to everybody, and it certainly is both an eating and a marketing experience. They focus on all the little things.

And then they add them to your bill. I’ve bought some pretty good marketing courses for less.

But I must admit, I ate every last bite.

Next, we took a van tour with 3 other couples, from Pennsylvania, California, and U.K.

“We fired our guns and the British kep’ a’comin’.
Wasn’t nigh as many as there was awhile ago.
Fired once more, and they commenced to runnin’
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.”

History tells us (and, of course, the victors write the history) the British suffered 2000 casualties in the Battle of New Orleans. American casualties: 13.

Whoops! Make that 14.

Our driver and guide - Fred - was excellent. He resembled a young Marlon Brando, and he even pointed out the street where Brando would have been standing as he screamed, “STELLA! STELLA!”

Fred had given 2 tours a day for 10 years. He could answer every question, and I’m a pretty curious guy. I was impressed.

But it all ended in a moment. In a sentence, actually.

“This is where we slaughtered the bloody British.”

His whole presentation had been so good, so educational, so professional, that I was shocked. I looked to the seat behind me and saw the two stone-faces and felt I had to apologize.

“No offense,” I laughed.

“Of course,” he didn’t laugh.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” said Fred. “You’re English, aren’t you?”

And when Stone-Face got off, naturally there was no tip. (I watched.) Would he have given one anyway? Who knows?

But how many times in 10 years do you suppose Fred has spoken those words to customers from U.K.? And how many tips do you suppose they’ve left him?

To me, it was just another little reminder that it’s the little things that kill your business, and we need to constantly analyze our businesses to see where we’ve done something really dumb that costs us. Fred’s certainly not alone. I’ve been in his shoes before.

But ten years is a long time to make a marketing mistake.

Richard Dennis

then we grabbed an alligator and
fought another round...

filled his head with cannonballs and powered his
behind, and when we lit the powder off,
the gator lost his mind"...

Gators ain't the only that shoot their mouths off
and lose their brains, are they?

Nice story Richard, did you take the New Orleans Ghost Walk?

It's one of the best...

Gordon

PS. Next comes "Sink the Bismarck" and remember, my business was called the OFF-KEY SINGING Telegram service. So get those ear plugs ready.

Gordon,

Cheryl read to me from a guide book about the Ghost Tour. She also read about another late-nighter, which we dubbed the "Whore Tour."

But she said she was pretty sure either one would be too scary for me.

Richard

> But she said she was pretty sure either one
> would be too scary for me.

Richard.

Give her a big hug. She obviously knows you well.

She loves you. She wants you to enjoy the trip. So she looks after your heart. Knows the strain of receiving a quick fright.

She understands how the human psyche works, and how seeing and hearing the things that go bump in the night would have been just too much for you.

And she was also smart not to let you take the ghost tour either...

enjoy your trip...

You've got a lot of work to do later...

Gordon

PS. BOO!