Getting out of my "Comfort Zone"

I am a 40 year old male that grew up in a north-west Iowa town. A small town where everyone knew you or thought they did. I wasn't an athlete... strike one. I wasn't a brain... strike two. And my family weren't farmers... you're out. Evidently I have some hang ups about that place.

I currently live in one of Phoenix, Arizonas' fast growing outskirt towns, Surprise 55000+. I am self-employed thanks to my dad that talked me into buying a semi. It is a JOB. The construction market is very competitive and that keeps the rates down. I have been around this business for 30 years (since my stepdad married my mom). I was never the charismatic type like my stepdad, he loved his business and was a workaholic. Evidently his constant question/statement "Mike... Why don't you think of some way to make some money!" sunk in because that is how I spend most of my days.

I discovered Nightingale-Conants materials back in 1986. I was drawn to the idea that commission sales was the greatest way to make large amounts of money and provide yourself with a great living. I bought all the books... Ziglar, Hopkins, Betger, I have even discovered recently Jay Abraham and Dan Kennedy.

I have a problem though...

I am afraid to talk to people about products. Fear of failure? Fear of Success? Fear of "No!" Something, I don't know exactly.

My brother-in-law said the other day that "So-and-so is outspoken like Mike(me?)" I do reach a certain level of comfort around people I know or are in the same field as I am.

I was given a little bit of hope recently when I read somewhere that many top-level sales people are actually quite shy and don't have a gift of gab. What? They are talking about me.

Anyway what I would like from this forum is your advice, what would be a great way of getting out of my comfort zone? How should I go about stretching my ask muscles? Could it be as easy as "Ask someone each day for something that you know might get you a "No!"?" Nothing ventured...

I feel like Gordon Alexander's "information junkie" I know a ton of this stuff. I can usually "Walk the talk" with others in this field, but you aren't going to buy from me and I probably wont buy from you. I don't want to be an info junkie, please help if you can.

P.S. Gordon, your "Crossroads" and your "Do you want to Know Your Future" articles are talking to me. I am going to try to figure out what I want my future to look like. I do believe in goal setting, I recently made a "Wish-List" of 28 things I wanted, the very first item was for a vacation, a real vacation. (In the trucking business in AZ. you get time off, but it isn't planned and you don't want much of it because it doesn't pay.) Anyhow I had wrote "I want a vacation, not a no-work period, an honest to goodness vacation, a trip somewhere because I am ready to go. Because I can. 3 days later out of the blue my 70 year old mother called me up and wondered if I would like to go to Alaska? I did not even hesitate when I said, "Absolutely!" She would call back with the details. She had wanted to go for a long time, her emphysema wasn't getting any better and she wanted to leave her kids with a GREAT memory. She paid for herself, her sister and brother-in-law, a half sister, my four older sisters and two of my brother-in-laws, and my wife and I (13). We flew in to Anchorage, took a train to Denali National Park, then on to Fairbanks, flew back to Anchorage, took a motorcoach to Seward and boarded the Ocean Princess cruise ship for a 7 day cruise on the "Inside Passage". It was Heaven, my mom was a Saint before all this. Goals... there is magic in the written word.

In the beginning was the Word, the Word was with God, the Word was God...

And if I could count I would have included our niece, my mother's youngest grand-daughter. (13)

Hi Michael,

I've just recently confronted this side of myself too, so I wanted to tell you about my limited but encouraging experience.

> I am afraid to talk to people about
> products. Fear of failure? Fear of Success?
> Fear of "No!" Something, I don't
> know exactly.

I had and still have to a degree the same problem.

I think a big part of it is a fear of success in spite of minor rejection. It's amazing how the thought of such minor, impersonal rejection can send shivers down a person's spine. Even though you can logically KNOW that if you persist in spite of these minor rejections, you'll have an outstanding winner on your hands! It's almost as if you have to be able to strong arm yourself into following through...

Sorry, I made it sound a lot harder than it really is... a simple "try again" said silently to yourself is usually enough to forge ahead.

Ok, I've just recently fell in love with a powerwasher.

Fine, I've been having the affair for a few months.

BUT, I just recently had to start going out of my way to drum up business.

AND, my results were fantastic. I've got even more business than I told everyone from just a few hours of work on a nice Saturday afternoon (yes, I'm talking about the last saturday, this saturday is muggy enough to force me to change shirts 3 or 4 times while going door to door).

I just did it. I kept thinking I wasn't going to... all the while going along, making the flyers, knowing I was going to get it done if I just followed each step. Part of me knew and part of me didn't.

So here's how to do it if you're going door to door (new business running already):

Step 1: Get in car.

Step 2: Drive to area you need to work in.

Step 3: Say to self, "Oh that house looks like a perfect candidate. If only I could make myself go talk with the owner."

Step 4: Park just to take a better look.

Step 5: Open door, get out, ring doorbell.

Now, you have to act.

Yes, the chances are the first time you'll just bail ("Um, I thought the Murphy's lived here. No? Gee golly, sorry to disturb you." me)

Eventually after repeating the steps enough, you'll mumble something about what your offering. And chances are, if they have a need for what you offer, they'll ask you for your card. Give it to them, try to gracefully exit without tripping on anything.

Michael, I'm not being condescending in any way towards you. I'm just having a little fun with what I imagine could happen to myself in such a situation.

(Granted, you may not be providing a labor service to homeowners like I'm currently doing.)

> Anyway what I would like from this forum is
> your advice, what would be a great way of
> getting out of my comfort zone? How should I
> go about stretching my ask muscles? Could it
> be as easy as "Ask someone each day for
> something that you know might get you a
> "No!"?" Nothing ventured...

That's a good idea.

Wish I could be of more help. Just wanted to reassure you a little, maybe make you laugh (or not).

Success,

Erik Lukas

P.S. One good tip is once you know a project you want to try, to stop searching for stuff on ebay. Yeah, that will save a lot of time. And yet, I have it open in another window this very minute.

Hi Michael,

Thanks for your post - it's already a good step just to come and ask a question....

Gordon Alexander may be on vacation now, so he may not have seen your post. I know he's going to be on vacation for a couple weeks or so....

Anyhow, one thing I can share with you is some advice which Gordon once told to me. He told this to me several years ago, when I posted a question in one of his old forums he used to run.... (This would have probably been in 1998 or 1999.)

I asked Gordon some advice on succeeding in business. His advice to me was - get some face-to-face sales experience! He said, it doesn't matter HOW you do it - just get it!

It actually took me a year or two to take that advice! But I finally did.... My brother set up a blank CD-ROM distribution business, and I spent a little bit of time working for him. Part of that included some sales experience....

Let me tell you, I was nervous as heck the first time. I was all suited up, approaching a store, trying to get them to carry some of our blank CD-ROMs.... But the thing is, the more you do it, the easier it became. It never really became "easy" for me, but it certainly did become "easier"....

I think that was EXCELLENT advice which Gordon gave to me. Just find SOME way - ANY way - to get some face-to-face sales experience. It will do you some good....

- Dien Rice

It's never as bad as you imagine it will be! ;)

- Dien

> It's never as bad as you imagine it will be!
> ;)

> - Dien

Michael. Once upon a time I was assigned a customer whose steely eye and no-nonsense
attitude had me thoroughly intimidated.

Mr Wudarski was dying of sugar diabetes and that
particular day he was stumping around his electric
cart in his factory , fire coming out of his
nostrils and smoke out of his ears. His face was
gray with pain.

He was furious at something his floor supt had
done. I got off the elevator and there they were.
One hanging his head, the other screaming at him.

I walked off to one side to avoid being included
in this embarrassing scene.

When the skinning alive was finished, I approached
the fearsome Mr. Wudarski with "Hi Cas, I came by
to show you..."

Cas interrupted with the most vile and loud
curse words an old sailor could dream up. He
glared into my face and said something like
unprintable ( take your %^^&*+= sh*& and get the
*^$$ out of here."). Substitute the nastiest
things you can think of.

I didn't know how to respond. I wished that I
could vanish through a crack in the floor. I
thought I might cry but I blurted out "Cas,
you don't mean that".

He glared one more second then relented. "Ah,
what the h#&&. Come on into the office."

He bought. I never again was afraid of being
rejected in a sales situation. I reasoned that
there was nothing worse that could happen and
I had lived through it."

Hope that's helpful. Capt Charley