Loneliness of the solo entrepreneur...

When I first went into business for myself - determined to make it a success - I discovered something which surprised me....

I was used to working in an "office"-type environment (as a university academic).... I would talk to people throughout the day, people would "drop into" my office, and I'd "drop into" theirs....

Then, I started working from home. And I found.... loneliness. Somehow, a computer screen can't replace a friendly human face.

My remedy was to socialize more outside of work hours.... But, I'd like to know - what do you do about this if you work from a home-based business? Did you encounter this when you first started? I've never read about this elsewhere - but it's a real phenomenon.... Maybe we can help those who are just starting to go into business for themselves....

- Dien

Major issue. I can totally relate.

It's really important to get out of the house and be around THE LIVING.

I find that I'll often "invent" errands, just to get out of the house.

Also, it helps to have friends who also have flexible schedules that you can get together with, during the day.

In addition, you can take up a hobby or sport which allows you to interact with people.

For example:

- Jiu jitsu lessons, once or twice a week, in the afternoon.
- Private Swing dance lessons, Monday morning.
- Shooting range, sunday afternoon.

Mix that up with meeting friends for lunch, and pretty soon all of that lonliness is a thing of the past.

Oh yeah... a steady girlfriend helps a lot, too.

If you can't get a girl friend, then get a dog. They help keep you company, and they're also good at fetching girlfriends. :)

- Adam.
Get your dog to listen to you, anywhere you go. Click here:
http://www.dogproblems.com/secretsbook.htm


Click here to learn how to get your dog to listen to you, anywhere you go...

Hi Dien,

About 3 years ago I quit my job as the CEO of a non-profit community development corporation and I can say I have missed meeting people, giving speeches, going to 'power' lunches, meeting with my board of directors, managing employees, etc..

..But not that much.

Managing employees is the worst job I can think of.

I know exactly what you mean ... I had some very pleasant professional relationships and I miss them.

One of the ways I break the isolation of working from my home is by having a relationship with my customers and mentors who have helped me make my living on the Internet... I have a regular list of people who call me and I call... and that networking helps some.

The other way I break the isolation is by getting involved in my kids activities and meeting other kids parents.

For example my oldest son plays American Legion basball and this summer we went for a tournament in Hartford, Conn. for 4 days. The parents had a great time together.

If you don't have kids... I like the idea of getting a dog ;-)

I have a Silky Terrier to keep my company during the day while my kids are at school ;-)

It's a good idea to discuss this... I wonder how many entrepreneurs went back to an office job just for the company of their peers (and a regular paycheck?) and gave up on their dream of owning their own business because of the isolation?

Best wishes,

-Dave




How I Make My Living Online

Hi,

You wrote:
> I wonder
> how many entrepreneurs went back to an
> office job just for the company of their
> peers (and a regular paycheck?) and gave up
> on their dream of owning their own business
> because of the isolation?

Just leaves more for those of us who can take it.

- Boyd

Hi Dien!

Your point is quite well taken. On Friday, my dear friend Faith and I were messaging on MSN and for the what seemed like umpteenth time that week we mentioned how much we wished we were in the same community so we could go out and grab a cup of coffee together!

We decided we would get together on the phone with our cups of coffee and even connected on a three way call with another friend of ours. We had an agenda-free call which felt SOOO great!

Also, I purposefully continue to be involved with several groups and just joined a networking group especially because of the loneliness and isolation I would feel without the regular meetings and contact.

In fact, tomorrow I am going to a Gardening Group with a woman from my Moms of Preschoolers group. Might sound passe, AND I am also looking very forward to it.

My monthly Open Mic nights are also a Godsend for me.

Tonight I went to a football game for our local community college team. They got hammered, by the way. I have never seen Bakersfield College get blanked before...they rarely lose and tonight they were SHUT OUT! Thats not the point of this note, though.

I saw many people there who I have not seen in a long time. In fact, one old friend came to chat with me and she said, "This is a surprise" touching Sam on the back, who was sleeping on my shoulder.

I smiled at her and said, "Yeah, he was a surprise to ME also!!"

All these re-connections create even more possibilities.

There was one woman at the game...this cracked me up...I was talking to her daughter who happened to be sitting next to me. The daughter was 9 years old.

The mother said to me, "I sat next to you one time last year, your children are so beautiful!" and I thought...."Is it good or bad that she remembered us between seasons?!"

Anyway, getting out there and connecting in a variety of ways both in person or on the telephone or via instant messaging....all of these ways can keep you plugged in and a lot less lonesome.

Great question, tho, Dien, because a lot of people DO get taken by surprise by this!

With Passion and Purpose,

Julie Jordan Scott


Dare to Discover Your Passion, Decide to Live Your Destiny

> I was used to working in an
> "office"-type environment (as a
> university academic).... I would talk to
> people throughout the day, people would
> "drop into" my office, and I'd
> "drop into" theirs....

One possible solution would be to set a
standard "luncheon date" with another business
person in your local area. In some cities some
business people are located in "incubators"
small offices which they rent in a larger
office. But for those without the money or
who prefer to work from home they will have
to use other telecommunication tools(as suggested
by Julie in her post)

When I managed a small retail store in a
local community; many home business operators,
seniors(who also deal with this problem) and
new mothers would get out "daily" and take
a walk and come by just to chat. I was able
to connect with many jewelry craft artists
this way...

Visualize your community as one large office
building and the different store owners and
or home business owners are in "seperate
cubicles"(their homes and offices etc) and
"reach out" and commune...

What's interesting about your analogy to
the university office setting is: you still
got the work done and obviously did not spend
8 grueling lonely hours doing it. Many who
work in offices realize about 2-3 hours is
lost in "decompression time": talking to
others, taking breaks, going to lunch etc....
So my question is : when you're working from
home why not build this decompression time
into your daily work life?

Another thing: for" some" a middle ground might
be to work "part time" in a business field
and work part time from home....

For "some" it might be to realize that working
as a "solo" entrepreneur is not for you. Perhaps
enlisting the help of a friend, or becoming
a mentor to someone else interested in your
line of business is the way to go...

I guess there is no "one answer"; you have
to find your own style and what works for
you , change your production goals and or
be objective enough to assess whether being
in a "solo" business is working for you at
this point in time....

> Then, I started working from home. And I
> found.... loneliness. Somehow, a computer
> screen can't replace a friendly human face.

> My remedy was to socialize more outside of
> work hours.... But, I'd like to know - what
> do you do about this if you work from a
> home-based business? Did you encounter this
> when you first started? I've never read
> about this elsewhere - but it's a real
> phenomenon.... Maybe we can help those who
> are just starting to go into business for
> themselves....

some tips from an article online:
http://www.usatoday.com/small/entre/2001-05-09-lonely.htm

Sometimes if I spend long periods at the computer it does feel isolated. However, I tend to read my emails and feel as if I'm talking with the person whose email I am answering and reading. I actually "hear" the emoticons. I also don't go too long before my wife checks on me anyway so I'm rarely along long enough to feel lonely.

I do sense the lonliness online though. I can see it when I strike up a conversation on a discussion forums and the posts/responses come so fast that it's like the person is just waiting to refresh the screen so that they can see the response.

When I am working on the computer and offline I am often at the beach or a favorite park anyway. That's why I bought my laptop. I'm waiting for wireless to get better so that I can be out deepsea fishing and I'm responding to emails between fish.

Willie




Free Results Generating Interactive List Building Tutorial

Not all home-based businesses keep the individual at home. Although I could sell for Kaeser and Blair strictly online, I try to leave my home office every day and call on some of my local clients.

I have been selling promotional products full-time since '87, but only ventured into online selling 3 years ago. So having contact with local clients who I see face to face keeps me from feeling any isolation.

Dennis Bevers




One opportunity for online & offline sales