Re: My apologies, I don't mean to offend...

SPLENDIFEROUS! Gordon, I know exactly of what you speak. You can't trade NOW for THEN with your children.

Michael (a proud papa) Kay

> those of you that have chosen a ChildFree
> existence. That is a persoanl choice, and
> certainly no one knows better than you what
> is right for you.

> I'm a big believer in choosing your
> lifestyle, and if being child free by choice
> suits you, that is great.

> For me, my children are special lights in my
> life.

> I'm posting this as a resonse to an e-mail
> from a frazzled parent who feels that
> childless marketers have an unfair
> advantage...so my response to that is NOT in
> any way about your choices, OK?

> So,

> Dear FRAZZLED,

> You are wrong. Yes, the non-parent business
> person or marketer may have more time to
> devote to his/her business...

> yes, they don't have the responsibilities
> you and I and millions of other parents
> do...

> yes, they come and go as they please, spend
> their money on what they want, and probably
> do get to 'PLAY' more than you or I.

> But, I wouldn't trade parenting for
> anything.

> It has been and continues to be my greatest
> source of joy, my greatest accomplishment,
> and my highest moments.

> Best days of my life were when my kids were
> born, it doesn't get any higher than that.

> All the expensive cars, huge houses, fishing
> and golf trips, Las Vegas vacations,
> diamonds, and FUN in the world don't hold a
> candle to the pure happiness of seeing one
> of my children succeed at life.

> My Senior is directing the class play,
> probably the last thing she'll do in her
> high school "career". A career
> that has seen her become a member of the
> National Honor Society, "Star"
> (Papa's words here) reporter, two-time state
> finalist in a writing competition,
> volunteer, choir member, ski club and many
> other activities.

> My Frosh has just landed a plum role in a
> local highly regarded community theater
> production. This casting call was responded
> to by dozens of young hopefuls. She has had
> the lead in several community theaters and
> was recognized by the city as a
> "creatively gifted" student.

> Call me proud. I can take it.

> So FRAZZLED, I'd rather go sit in a gym and
> watch these kids perform than go get the
> most expensive meal in town. I'd rather coax
> one more sled riding experience out of them,
> knowing they are numbered, than to sit and
> suck down sushi with the most famous of
> marketing counsel gurus.

> What you have to do F(razzled) is take a
> look at your life in a larger perspective.

> Get some distance from your current efforts,
> and see the REASONS you are working so hard.

> What is now a time consuming effort for you
> will one day become your most fond memories,
> long after you've forgotten the affiliates,
> and those web sites fade into your past...

> you will have the memory of what you did or
> chose NOT to do with your children.

> YES, you may be sacrificing some time with
> them now for their future...BUT, I warn you,
> don't make the mistake that you can make up
> for your absence from them NOW by some
> future endowment of either time or money...

> What are you teaching your children by your
> behavior?

> I encourage you, go to napster and download
> HARRY CHAPIN'S "Cat in the
> Cradle"...it contains a powerful
> message for you...

> or for any of you that DON'T HAVE THE TIME
> to work on your e-biz cause you got to
> "take care" of the kids.

> My ADVICE, and as always, you can take it or
> leave it is:

> TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS first. But then use
> your spare time and maximize your efforts.
> Try to get something WORKING, even if it is
> only one small thing, there is a POWER in
> compounded effort and accumulation.

> Throw a small snowball down a hill and let
> the avalanche build up for you while you are
> at the top of the hill building snow forts
> with your kids.

> DON'T think of it as being unfair. Some of
> those people without kids are that way, not
> becuase they don't want them, but because of
> other circumstances.

> THEY may very well be WISHING and HOPING
> that they could know your joys and pains
> every bit as much as you say you are wishing
> you had theirs.

> Don't trade away the most precious memories
> of life wishing you had the freedom these
> others have.

> Be THANKFUL you've been blessed, be
> appreciative of what you have been given to
> be the caretaker of. Envy NO one's time or
> position in this life, and don't begrudge
> them their choice not to have children or
> the success that comes from their own
> efforts.

> YOU Frazzled, must be what you can be. You
> must work with what you have, where you are
> at, and continue toward your goal...but
> PLEASE...

> STOP right now and give your children a hug.
> A big long hug.

> Get right with that, and know and understand
> that all the riches you say you want, can't
> even be compared to the ones you already
> have.

> Hope this hits a responsive chord Frazzled.

> Gordon (Proud Papa and wouldn't trade that
> title for any thing else) Alexander